Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Work VS SAHM

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 4:41 PM
  • 20 Replies

No this is not a debate. Sorry.

I am conflicted, and needed an outlet to vent I suppose. So I apologize in advance if I start to ramble along some. First off, I have two kids, a three yr old and an one year old. I haven't worked in four yrs (so I am not sure who would hire me anyway :( ) I don't *need* to work, we are going along fine, but it would really help out and get things paid off and lets be honest who doesn't like a little more spending money.

I suppose my thing is, I don't see myself being able to let someone else keep my kids for me throughout the week. My goddaughter was almost killed by a babysitter they had known for years. We live near no friends and no family so a daycare is about my only option. I hate the thought of someone else raising them (No offense to anyone, but that's how I see it for me) and I only get a few hours out of the day. I am very anxious at the thought of them being with strangers throughout the week, it makes me feel a bit sick at heart.

On the other hand, I have been stuck in a house with them since they were born. I don't ever leave unless its with them or a quick jaunt to the grocery store. My husband and I both think that a few days a week of something that's JUST for me would be good. But I have such a hard time with the thought of dropping them off and walking away. :(

*sighs* seriously, props to those who work and parent.


/vent


by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 4:41 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
lioness3e
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 4:44 PM

Have you considered joining a play group, or mom's group? this will allow you to get out around other adults and still have your kids with you. If you don't NEED to work then why do it? It sounds like you just need some companionship.

canthaveboys1
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 4:45 PM

 I understand. I work, and it took me a long time to find a daycare I was comfortable with. I moved to a different town and didnt know anyone. I actually found my dcp on craigslist. It was a very extensive bunch of places, agencies, and people that I called to check references, license standards, etc. Mine actually was recommended by our local DCFS office.

Regina_Falange
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 4:47 PM
Quoting lioness3e:

Have you considered joining a play group, or mom's group? this will allow you to get out around other adults and still have your kids with you. If you don't NEED to work then why do it? It sounds like you just need some companionship.

I have been to a few but have never hit it off with anyone, and the last two we went to, this kid took a dislike to my son and kept pushing him. The mother wouldn't stop the brat and laughed it off. My son ended up with a huge knot on his head from hitting a table before I could get there. So we never went back. We live in a very small town so that's pretty much all there is.


emilysmom8
by Dawn on Dec. 9, 2010 at 4:48 PM

What if you work 1-2 days a week when yoour DH is home?

Regina_Falange
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 4:50 PM

His work schedule is never set or the same. Its rare if he gets off on time, or even goes in at the same time. I couldn't plan on him to be home before I had to go.

Quoting emilysmom8:

What if you work 1-2 days a week when yoour DH is home?



JasonsMom2007
by Platinum Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 4:51 PM

Have you looked into what it is going to cost you?  Hubby and I were looking into the cost and with daycare, diapers (we cloth diaper now), commuting, etc. it would COST me to work if I took a job that was less than $12/hour!

jillbailey26
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 4:51 PM

Well, no matter what you pick, you'll lose out somewhere.  If you get a day job, you lose time with your kids.  If you stay home, you lose time that you're wanting for yourself.  The only other option is to work a part time night job (grocery/department store) at night while your husband is home with the kids.  The downside to that is that you won't see him.  

So you would have to pick your poison, lol.  Less time with kids, for yourself or with your husband.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19


Regina_Falange
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 4:52 PM

I would be using the CDC on base. The coordinator is supposed to be calling me back to chat here next week I think. But what I understand they base the cost off of your rank and income, not just a cut and dried thing. *shrugs* we will see i suppose

Quoting JasonsMom2007:

Have you looked into what it is going to cost you?  Hubby and I were looking into the cost and with daycare, diapers (we cloth diaper now), commuting, etc. it would COST me to work if I took a job that was less than $12/hour!



mariesathome
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 4:53 PM

Have you thought about a moms day out or preschool.  A lot of churches offer those programs.  They are usually from 9 to 1.  They get to socialize and learn some skills to be ready for kindergarten.  I love it because it gave me some time to do other things or just enjoy quiet.  My kids loved it, because they got to be with friends and had structure, plus they also I think like the break it gives from mom, lol. Most have options of 2, 3, 4 days.

Marie Kelley
205-370-3908

Find me on Facebook

www.AtHomeWithFamily.com
Believe in the beauty of your dreams and that you can achieve them!


kikibix
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 4:57 PM

I've done both.  With my oldest I went back to work and was fortunate to find great daycare.  When my youngest was born I made the decision not to work.  I've been sahm ever since (almost 9 yrs).  Now I have come to the realization that I stayed home too long.  Yes it was great for my kids for me to be here but for myself and my career, I stayed away too long.  I am having a really hard time re-entering the job market and I really want to both for financial reasons and for personal reasons.  I honestly would in your position look for part time work, or possibly volunteer work, just to keep your options open and to give yourself a break from the home routine. I am feeling very frustrated and feeling the lack of direction and purpose now that my kids are older.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)