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A White Lie

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:43 PM
  • 11 Replies

So my DD (9) and her good friend (let's call her "a") both are sweet on the same neighborhood boy.

Well, they all hang out together and run in a neighborhood pack but the last two weeks "a" had been "grounded" and unable to play.

During this time, DD and said boy have been hanging out and apparently the boy told DD that he likes her (DD) first, someone else as 2nd and "a" as 3rd.

(moms, do you remember these days? ugh...I sure do!)

At any rate, today "a" asked DD what boy thinks about "a" and DD was HONEST and told "a" exactly what boy said. Needless to say, "a" did not like it.

I asked DD why she told "a" that and dd replied: "mom, you always tell me to tell the truth, no matter what..."

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Advice?

Commiserate?

I HATE it when they leave me stumped.

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
earthangel1967
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:45 PM

Actually I think dd did the right thing. It is even more devasting to get high hopes falsely

Yvonne




Mama07Shorty
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:46 PM


Quoting earthangel1967:

Actually I think dd did the right thing. It is even more devasting to get high hopes falsely


I agree she did the right thing

2milesboys
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:46 PM

 their 9 im sure another cute boy will catch their eyes quickly .... she was right to be honest with her friend

MrsKuhn
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:47 PM


Quoting earthangel1967:

Actually I think dd did the right thing. It is even more devasting to get high hopes falsely

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Radarma
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:05 PM

Really?

Oh, that makes it feel better!

I am worried about her hurting her friend's feelings.

:(

Kiwismommy19
by Diamond Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:11 PM
I agree. But I'm for total honesty and hate all lies, even the little ones.


Quoting earthangel1967:

Actually I think dd did the right thing. It is even more devasting to get high hopes falsely


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
earthangel1967
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:14 PM

If I was her friend "A" I would have been even MORE hurt if my friend that I trust and confide in LIED to me even to protect me bc then I might get false high hopes and also make a fool of myself in front of my crush thinking he DOES like me more than he does.

It's ok to tell a friend a hurtful thing if it's true as long as you try to be gentle and comforting after wards if they look upset and empathise with them and listen to them about it.

At least she will have her friends TRUST the way she handled it. This is an important life skill to learn to balance and I would be proud of her.

Quoting Radarma:

Really?

Oh, that makes it feel better!

I am worried about her hurting her friend's feelings.

:(


Yvonne




earthangel1967
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:17 PM

If you think her delivery was too blunt and didn't show any compassion I would talk to her privately later and tell her I was proud of her for telling her friend the truth and at least her friend knows she can trust her, but in the future when you have a hurtful truth to tell someone, try to tell them softly and gently as you can and maybe give them a hug and be sure to empathise with their feelings and be a good friend/listener afterwards.

Yvonne




starfilled
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:30 PM

Great advice.  And yes, I agree that your daughter did the right thing in being honest.

Quoting earthangel1967:

If you think her delivery was too blunt and didn't show any compassion I would talk to her privately later and tell her I was proud of her for telling her friend the truth and at least her friend knows she can trust her, but in the future when you have a hurtful truth to tell someone, try to tell them softly and gently as you can and maybe give them a hug and be sure to empathise with their feelings and be a good friend/listener afterwards.



Radarma
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:31 PM

Yvonne, you rock!

THANK YOU ALL!

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