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Hubby Vent Need Help

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:04 PM
  • 13 Replies

So my hubby and i have been together for five years now...almost two of  them married. Lately he has been secretive about how much money is on his paychecks..he wont let me see what he makes. He wants to buy all these extras we dont need right now. He is always wanting to hang out at a friends house no matter what day it is. I have to beg for time with him. When i talked about it with him the other day he started to cry and says he doesnt want anyone else and that he will fix everything. well i havent started to see any change at all. Divorce has been crossing my mind but it hurts me to think about it for the fact of our son. I have no idea what to do. His parents suggested we try counseling but he doesnt want to do it..he thinks we shouldnt need help with our marriage...HELP

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bmswifey
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:06 PM

I would try counseling. Good Luck! Hugs!

Firewoman33
by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:07 PM

Ask him. If he doesn't want to do counseling what does he want to do to fix things?

Also, I would suggest you go to counseling on your own. If for no other purpose then to give you additional support and professional advice. 

cadlecr4
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:11 PM

Maybe he just needs a little extra space?? Id keep trying to talk to him.

mamakenzi
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:14 PM
Quoting Firewoman33:

Ask him. If he doesn't want to do counseling what does he want to do to fix things?

Also, I would suggest you go to counseling on your own. If for no other purpose then to give you additional support and professional advice. 

Kenzie

I'm just me, love it or hate it, ask me if I care...whatev!

proudmomma1986
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:19 PM
Honestly, find out why he's doing those things. Not saying it's your fault bc it's not but sometimes when we feel like the other person is the only one to blame, they may see it a different way. I know this was true in my relationship when we had serious problems. Don't give up yet. GL hun
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xmansmommy23
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:24 PM


Quoting proudmomma1986:

Honestly, find out why he's doing those things. Not saying it's your fault bc it's not but sometimes when we feel like the other person is the only one to blame, they may see it a different way. I know this was true in my relationship when we had serious problems. Don't give up yet. GL hun

i basically do everything for him...laundry cleaning cooking gettin up early to get his stuff ready for work...i am at wits end

LovelyMother88
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:43 PM

Tell him that the only way you see your marriage working out is if you get help via counseling. If he still refuses to go, go stay with a family member or a friend for a couple of days to show him that you are serious, and to show him what his life might be like without you. It should wake him up.

MyAngel003
by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 12:26 AM

I'd have a sit down & tell him how you feel even if he won't open up, you need to open up and be honest with him. Tell him how his treatment makes you feel and if he doesn't want counseling (most men don't) then sugg he start chging to prove to you all is well. Ask him what he feels needs to be done to resolve any issues see if he takes that bait, not necessairly blaming him. Good luck, sorry you to have to go thru this esp. at the Holidays.Maybe a short separation would jolt him into reality, but that's a serious step, and should be well thought out by you before taking that leap.  

Pst2
by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 9:23 AM

 Urge couseling. It sounds like he might be as the saying goes 'trying to keep up with the Jones's".  Ask him to just sit and talk with you let you in on what is happening so you can help. Let him know you feel helpless and it hurts you that he won't let you in. That might open his eyes. Also if you attend church go to your Pastor and ask him to speak with him privately. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

spcjones203
by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 9:26 AM

 Secretive about money? Always going over to a certain's friend's house no matter the time of day? Bursting into tears and saying he doesn't want anyone else when you try to talk to him about it?

Sweetie, those are enormous red flags. Like, seriously huge cheating red flags. You two need to have a serious talk and find out what exactly is going on.

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