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What is your opinion?

Posted by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 12:29 AM
  • 31 Replies

my husband made some new friends in Police Academy.. And he goes to work out with them sometimes if class gets out early.. Goes out to eat lunch with them sometimes.. The question is am I justified in telling him he can't hang out with them cause they are girls?? But he does also go out to lunch as a group with others from his class.. and most of the time he goes to play basketball with a large portion of his class as well.. And please don't tell me just what you think I wanna hear but your Honest opinion..

by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 12:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Cross07
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 12:32 AM

BUMP!

SanDiegoMaxMom
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 12:32 AM

I wouldn't worry about gender, especially with police work.

rickitikitavi
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 12:34 AM

i wouldnt care to be honest.they are just buddies from work.nothing more should come of it.

WaitingOnPeanut
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 12:38 AM

I can understand your possibly being concerned about them being girls. I feel like the most insecure person in the world sometimes when it comes to stuff like that.. But if you trust him and you have a healthy relationship I don't think you have anything to worry about. 

mypbandj
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 12:41 AM
My dh and I decided long before we got married that we wouldn't hang out alone with the opposite sex. Aside from work situations. If you don't do it, nothing can happen.
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nowaygourmet
by Gold Member on Apr. 13, 2011 at 12:49 AM

he needs to bond with these colleagues, no matter the gender. they may need a strong bond to save each other's lives someday. i don't have any experience in the matter but i've heard that fellow officers become family as they are the only ones who truely understand what each other is going thru. so i say it would be unfair of u to ask him not to go out with them but u might ask if u can tag along to meet them and be part of the group, i see no harm in that.

mama2mycuties
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 12:55 AM

I would ask if you could do a *group* meal together, maybe with the women he's working with and their significant others if they have them....that way you can introduce yourself, put out your *feelers* so to speak and just get to know them. It will help to calm your nerves :) Dh works with a bunch of females, but I know the majority of them pretty well. And he knows to stay clear of the scandalous ones :) lol

Sharon7772
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 1:39 AM


Quoting mama2mycuties:

I would ask if you could do a *group* meal together, maybe with the women he's working with and their significant others if they have them....that way you can introduce yourself, put out your *feelers* so to speak and just get to know them. It will help to calm your nerves :) Dh works with a bunch of females, but I know the majority of them pretty well. And he knows to stay clear of the scandalous ones :) lol


                            


mamakenzi
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 1:49 AM

Okay this is going to sound harsh but it's the truth, I am a former police dispatcher so I do have experience with this. 

You are going to have to decide whether you trust your husband or not and then put your insecurities behind you.  Your husband will become close with female officers and dispatchers. 

In a job like that you have to be close to your co-workers.  Your fellow officers will have your back and dispatch can get you help when no one else can. 

I was close enough to my officers that I could tell how they felt about a call by them calling out their badge number over the radio.  I played friend, marriage counselor, work counselor, and hard-ass friend with all of my officers.  We talked about the difficult calls because our family members couldn't/didn't deal with the things we dealt with. 

One night when I was off, one of my officers had a call where a guy attempted to commit suicide via cop.  He called me just to come ride out with him.  I was an extra set of eyes on the street and I "got it" where as his wife wouldn't have.  And that's not saying she wasn't supportive.  She just didn't know how to deal with those types of things. 

Another night I had a call where a man shot himself in the head while he was on the phone with me.  After our shift 2 officers took my to breakfast and we talked about it.  Typically we when go through things like that we hash it out with those who were with us then it's never brought up again. 

Good luck to you, but honestly he needs to start bonding with these people.  And you need to learn how to deal with it, otherwise it will make it harder on him.

earthangel1967
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 4:41 AM

I honestly think it depends on each individual couple and what they are comfortable with and what their boundaries and personal beliefs are. My husband and I would both hate for the other gender to go hanging out with our s/o  but we both mutually feel that way, well actually in our case we even both CHOOSE not to make friends of the same gender either bc it would take away time for US to hang out with eachother and our young adult kids bc we are all best friends and wouldnt be happy sacrificing any of that time, but thats US... It is something you two should talk about and come to an agreement on either way. Good luck

PS I honestly feel these types of things are BEST discussed before marriage to make sure everyone is on the same page.


  YVONNE

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