Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

To work.. or not to work.. ?

Posted by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:05 PM
  • 12 Replies

I need some serious advice...

I've been contemplating going back to work for a few months after being a stay at home mother since November of 2007.  I have three kids -ages: 4, 3, & almost 2. My 4 year old is going to Kindergarten in the fall, and my 3 year old will be in Pre-K (which is half the day).

[A little background on me: I have no college education.  I was a receptionist at a car dealership for a few years before I became a full time mother.  It wasn't a great paying job and after we had our 2nd child, I was forced to stay home because it would have actually cost me money to go to work.

So... my father is opening up his own grocery store. He asked me to be the front end manager at $10 an hour, plus quarterly bonuses. Let's face it, with my background... it's the best offer I'll ever get -especially with not working for such a long period of time. ...My DH and I talk about it. We decide that after paying a sitter to watch three small children all summer long... it's still not profitable & we'd have to take our sons out of their sports bc I wouldn't be able to take them. And my DH REALLY wants me to be a SAHM bc that's how he was raised.

So I tell my father that it's not going to work out at full time.. and he offers me another position -same hourly pay, just 8am-12 everyday.  Personally, I LOVE this idea. I call the sitter -she says she'll do it for $100 per week! My husband, on the other hand, is negative nelson.. DOES NOT want me to go to work. He's making every excuse in the book for me to stay home with our children. He says, "It's just not going to benefit our family" ...and To me, I feel like... Hey, at least I'll be getting out of the house and having a little socialization with other people for a change!

The thing is, I'll take the kids to the sitters... and I'll be home by 1 or so. I'll be able to take them to tee-ball and soccer.. make a little extra cash.. and have something that's just mine.. something that will make me feel good about myself.  

I need advice because I'm not sure how to explain to my DH so he understands... I don't know whether his opinion should waver my decision.  This IS something that I want.  I just don't know how to explain to my DH that this isn't a bad thing.

What do you think?? 


~Meg

SAHM to three amazing kids:  Maddox [4], Kingston [3], & Paris [1]

{& wife to one awesome, hard-working man}

by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:05 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
allens_mom06
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:10 PM
explain just like you did in this post. I think you hit all the right points here
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kikibix
by Bronze Member on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:10 PM

I think it's important for you to get work experience and this particular situation actually works for  you.  Ask your dh what would you do if something happened to him and you needed to find work? Could you realistically find a job to support your kids with the experience you have? Would you have the confidence to do it? Tell him you need the socialization aspect but mostly the work experience so that down the road you can further yourself and contribute full time to family finances.

I think you should do it, or you might resent your dh for the lost opportunity.

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:18 PM

Do it! I am a working mom and love it.  (;  I have no idea what I would do if my husband did not support my decision.  He has always been supportive of me and anything I wanted to do.  Good luck!

Daisypath Anniversary tickers


Connor 3

erinsmom1964
by Gold Member on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:20 PM

 Maybe let him read your OP.  You explain it very eloquently here.  maybe you guys could come to an agreement that you get to try it for x amount of time and then revisit the discussion.  That way after he sees that there is no negative impact and maybe even some positives ones his fears might be allayed.

I know my hubby would not be happy either as our DD is only 2 and I used to make pretty darn good money but wow what great hours and it gives you a little time to be an adult plus in the future if and when you want to add more time there you will already have experience.

Bmat
by Barb on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:24 PM

I think you should go. It will be something to add to your resume if you want to go to work full time or get another job in the future. You'll also be able to build up benefits, make contacts, I think it's a great idea.

countrygirlkat
by Kathleen on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:31 PM

 I would let him read the OP because you stated your position there very nicely.  Then though if he still doesn't like the idea have him really explain to you his reasons.  Listen to him as well.  Then at that point you two need to make a decision together because it is his kids too and for you to make a decision that so obviously impacts the kids without your DH is not okay. 

Meggie-May
by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 12:54 PM


Quoting erinsmom1964:

 Maybe let him read your OP.  You explain it very eloquently here.  maybe you guys could come to an agreement that you get to try it for x amount of time and then revisit the discussion.  That way after he sees that there is no negative impact and maybe even some positives ones his fears might be allayed.

I know my hubby would not be happy either as our DD is only 2 and I used to make pretty darn good money but wow what great hours and it gives you a little time to be an adult plus in the future if and when you want to add more time there you will already have experience.

I like this idea! Thank you! I will propose this when I talk to him about it tonight. :)

~Meg

SAHM to three amazing kids:  Maddox [4], Kingston [3], & Paris [1]

{& wife to one awesome, hard-working man}

Meggie-May
by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 12:55 PM

And thank you for all of your responses! It's nice having a little encouragement that I'm making an alright choice. :)

mommybug77
by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 12:59 PM

I have been a SAHM since 98. If I had something that worked that well for me I would take it & DH would have no issue with it.

the3Rs
by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 1:14 PM

I fully support the option of working part-time as long as you will actually be making money and not going in the hole...and it looks like you'll earn a little bit after taxes and paying daycare - so that's good.

However, it really doesn't matter what WE think.  You and your DH need to come to some kind of agreement.  It's not right for him to dictate that you stay home - but it's not right of you to completely disregard his opinion either.

Maybe do a trial - tell him you'll work part-time for 2 (or 4 or 6 or whatever) months and then revisit and see how it's going.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)