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Question For Divorced Moms

Posted by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 4:36 PM
  • 15 Replies

  What do you do when your kids don't want to visit their dad? Do you still make them go? My boys stay with their dad every other weekend and when that weekend comes around they tell me they don't want to go. When either I drop them off or my ex picks them up, they always hand on to me and  cry about wanting to stay with me. Do you have any suggestions on how I can deal with this?

Jessica, SIngle Mommy To Dante (12/03/04), Landon (08/09/06) and Aviv (12/18/09)/

by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 4:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ForeverMommy08
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 4:40 PM

I have a 3 year old dd and we have her so that it's equal. We split the week. That way she never goes one week without seeing one parent or the other. The more often they see him the less 'traumatic' it is at drop off/pick up. Our dd is doing very very well with our situation now. At first she didn't want to leave me but now she's happy both places.

SouthTxPrincess
by Silver Member on Apr. 13, 2011 at 5:53 PM
i dont have kids in this situation but i was a weekend ping pong my whole life. i didnt like going to my dads house. so i would see if u can figure out if there is a reason behind it.
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NearSeattleMom
by Gold Member on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:40 PM

I'm not divorced but here's a bump!

Tranla
by Elisabeth on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:45 PM
I'm not divorced, but if they're old enough to tell you, try to find out why they don’t want to go. They might have a good reason for not wanting to go with him. If it turns out, there isn't a good reason and they just think their dad is too strict or some such reason, just insist they go and be persistent about it.
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lilmama8408
by Silver Member on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:48 PM

my parents divored when i was 3ish my brother was almost a year old...  when i got older like middle/high school i didnt like going to my dads. i didnt get a long with my stepmom or her son. and weekends if i knew my dad was working i did everything i could not to go. my mom always left it up to us, but my dad always wanted to see us. hes a great dad but there were a lof of issues then...

how old are your children? Is there a way for him to get them like one night during the week even if its just for a couple of hours. They could have dinner or something, that way they see him more.

JessMomToDLA
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:30 PM

 They are 6, 4 and 15 months. I have been offering him more time with him but he will only take them on his weekends.

Quoting lilmama8408:

my parents divored when i was 3ish my brother was almost a year old...  when i got older like middle/high school i didnt like going to my dads. i didnt get a long with my stepmom or her son. and weekends if i knew my dad was working i did everything i could not to go. my mom always left it up to us, but my dad always wanted to see us. hes a great dad but there were a lof of issues then...

how old are your children? Is there a way for him to get them like one night during the week even if its just for a couple of hours. They could have dinner or something, that way they see him more.

 

Jessica, SIngle Mommy To Dante (12/03/04), Landon (08/09/06) and Aviv (12/18/09)/

JessMomToDLA
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:32 PM

 The only reason I have gotten is that they don't like their dad's gf and that two of her kids are mean to them.

Quoting SouthTxPrincess:

i dont have kids in this situation but i was a weekend ping pong my whole life. i didnt like going to my dads house. so i would see if u can figure out if there is a reason behind it.

 

Jessica, SIngle Mommy To Dante (12/03/04), Landon (08/09/06) and Aviv (12/18/09)/

Habibti812
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:35 PM

I'm not divorced... My parents were when I was very young, and I saw my dad every other weekend, then when we lived my Dad I saw my Mom every other weekend.. I never didnt' want to see one or the other. Have you tried talking to them (At least your two older ones) and asking why they don't want to see their Dad??? If it is having to do with the gf and her kids then I would have a talk with him about it. I wouldn't want my kids to go somewhere where they feel bullied you know? And there Dad should definitely want them to be in safe loving situation,s o maybe bringing it to his attention would help. THen you can work as a united front to resolve the problem.

JessMomToDLA
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:39 PM

 I have brought it to his attention, he always claims he didn't see what happened and seems to think his gf and her kids do no wrong.

Quoting Habibti812:

I'm not divorced... My parents were when I was very young, and I saw my dad every other weekend, then when we lived my Dad I saw my Mom every other weekend.. I never didnt' want to see one or the other. Have you tried talking to them (At least your two older ones) and asking why they don't want to see their Dad??? If it is having to do with the gf and her kids then I would have a talk with him about it. I wouldn't want my kids to go somewhere where they feel bullied you know? And there Dad should definitely want them to be in safe loving situation,s o maybe bringing it to his attention would help. THen you can work as a united front to resolve the problem.

 

Jessica, SIngle Mommy To Dante (12/03/04), Landon (08/09/06) and Aviv (12/18/09)/

Habibti812
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:41 PM
See I'd have such a problem with that! Those boys are HIS kids! And saying "He didn't see it" is discounting their version of events, and if they are continually complaining about it, it's something he needs to look into. Regardless of weather he "saw" anything or not. He needs to advocate for them.. They needt o feel safe, and loved in his home, kwim? I'm sorry your going through this momma :-( I can only imagine how it must feel for you hearing them say that.
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