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FED UP! Now what! (PIOG)

Posted by on May. 21, 2011 at 9:58 PM
  • 9 Replies

I have been trying for 2 years to make my marriage work. I have left alone with some things that bother me, done everything in my power to avoid fights. All I asked of him was help with kids, and to take out the trash. Other than that I do the house work, i cook, I still do most with the kids. I got fed up. Wanted out. He begged me to stay, said things would change, blah blah blah. Pretty much made me feel horrible for wanting out. So I stayed. And NOTHING has changed. If anything its gotten worse. We fight so much more. I don't go to bed when he does, he assumes I'm talking to someone. I don't want to have sex, he says I went elsewhere for it, even when I'm HOME! We have been staying with his best friends family, they are going to help me out while DH is deployed, and even his best friend sees this crap and asks me why I stay. But I'm traped. When I was pregnant with DD1 he told me to go ahead and stay home with DS and prepare for DD, then later we had DD2. I have been a stay at home mom for 2 years, and no one wants to hire me. He knows I have nowhere to go. And I hate it.

Last night was just the final straw for me! He came home from hanging out with the guys for a friends bday. Fine, went to the strip club, Fine. But he knows my rule, he goes there he isn't going to come home hot and bothered and get laid. Sorry, my thing. Anyways, knowing this, he comes home still expecting it. Been sweet all night, then the minute I said no, he comes loose. I'm a bitch. "He's been nothing but nice so I should want to have sex whenever he asks." He's going to go to his dads. Going to file for divorce. All this non-sense. This isn't the first time he's threatened divorce. I didn't answer my phone one day for like an hour. I was busy with our kids and the ones I baby sit, and he came home yet again Threatening divorce.

I want out so bad. I just don't know what to do. Sorry just had to vent somewhere.

by on May. 21, 2011 at 9:58 PM
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Replies (1-9):
by on May. 21, 2011 at 10:02 PM

Look for a job, or see if you can stay with your family until you get on your feet.

by on May. 21, 2011 at 10:10 PM

 I'm so sorry you're going through this but know that just b/c you've been a SAHM doesn't mean you won't be able to find a job. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do. Stay strong mama!

by on May. 21, 2011 at 10:11 PM

I"m sorry. :( I've only been dealing with similar behavior from my dh for a year. I'm still trying to work things out.. and everything. look for a job, and do what YOU can do to prepare to leave and gain full custody. 

by Gold Member on May. 21, 2011 at 11:07 PM

hugsI am sorry!

by on May. 21, 2011 at 11:12 PM

Honestly, I know advice is sometimes much easier said than done, but if you aren't "in" the marriage, then get out. You're doing your children no justice being in an unhappy marriage. You could try therapy or maybe even church (though Im not the church goin' kind I hear sometimes this helps). But take it from a woman who was once a kid and watched her mother live like a unhappy caged trapped bird for YEARS. All it did was land her in the hospital after a beat down and a drinking problem.  Best of luck to you and I hope whatever choice you make its one that makes you happy.

by on May. 21, 2011 at 11:58 PM

 If I was ever "threatened" with divorce, I would tell him to go for it..that it won't make a difference to you that you're practically a single mom anyway. But that is the way that my personality is. Start looking for work, start finding ways out during this deployment, if it comes to it..have the divorce papers delivered while he is on deployment

by on May. 24, 2011 at 3:05 PM

Thank you ladies! I think I'm going to go talk to my mother and see if we can stay with her for a bit. Finish school, and hopefully find a good job. I'm so nervous about this though. My husband doesn't know how to be alone, he doesn't know how to have patience with our children. Hopefully by the time he gets home from this deployment I can have it all figured out..

by on May. 24, 2011 at 3:08 PM

Do what you can and must to get on your feet. Good luck :)

Oh, and if he keeps threatening the divorce, tell him to go ahead and file the papers. Otherwise he needs to STFU.

by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2011 at 3:56 PM

I'm so sorry hun! The only advice I have is to NOT allow him to go to strip clubs! It ALWAYS destroys relationships. A man should never lust after anyone - especially a woman who isn't his wife.

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