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I need advice very badly

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 11:51 PM
  • 15 Replies

So in November my DH got primary residential custody of SD and SS. BM is taking us back to mediation cuz she wants the kids home with her.  The children do NOT want to live with her. This all started last August because SD and SS said they were afraid of BM cuz she throws stuff when she's angry. Now she's playing dirty. She is bringing up my past, my previous marriage and my two children that live with my exes family. Yes, they do live with my EX's parents. I was in prison for bad checks and I have left them there because that is all they know. BM also says that I am emotionally unfit to raise my SD and SS. DH and I also have a two year old together. I am bi-polar. I see my doctor monthly, see a counselor, have a case manager and a CPS. I take my meds as prescribed. But summer 2009 and summer 2010 she willingly gave DH the kids for the entire summer knowing I would be caring for them. They have resided in our home since June 2010. Suddenly she says I am emotionally unstable. Yet she has an 18 yr old daughter that she walked out on twice now, leaving the child with a guy she says was abusive. Just walked out and left the baby there. At 16 she got pregnant to a 50ish year old man.  When she is angry now and knows she can't through things so she yells "I hate kids" She lies to the kids all the time. Anyhow, she has my exes info and everything. Can she hold any of this against me? Could it cause us to loose custody of the kids?

by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 11:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Larsbug
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 11:56 PM

the courts are going to look at who is better fit for them, if they are old enough to decide who they want to live with courts will take that into consideration as well. If you have had them for this long there is probably a reason... everything will work out like it should.

earthangel1967
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 12:00 AM

Hugs

I am sorry you and your honey are going thru this and that the kids are going thru this too. I know how hard it is to deal with an awful Bio mom.

(I am bipolar too and I think anyone who knows me would agree I am an excellent mom) Being bipolar does not make for an unfit parent especially when you are on your meds and balanced and under professional care.

The burden of PROOF that you and the dad are UNFIT are on her. The kids are in an established enviroment and are happy to be there. She has to PROVE somehow that the kids needs are not being met or that they are in danger or that they are abused or neglected.

In the meantime I would get written notes from your dr. and psychiatrist and anyone else you work with stating their opinion of you being balanced and a fit mother to back you up even if you dont need them better to be over prepared then under prepared.

ALso of course get a lawyer if you can. If you cant I hope it gives you some peace of mind to know the burden of PROOF is on HER.

What you did in your past does not necessarily reflect who you are now and how you parent now. She has to show proof in the present time

good luck

YVONNE

Kiwismommy19
by Diamond Member on Jun. 5, 2011 at 1:31 PM

I'm sorry she's putting your family through this. I have no experience with this, I just wanted to say good luck and I hope everything works out for you!

mamakenzi
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 3:26 PM


Quoting Kiwismommy19:

I'm sorry she's putting your family through this. I have no experience with this, I just wanted to say good luck and I hope everything works out for you!


Kenzi

I'm just me, love it or hate it, ask me if I care...whatev!

http://macklanddiares.blogspot.com

JoyfulSurprise
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 3:29 PM

Good luck!

Quoting Kiwismommy19:

I'm sorry she's putting your family through this. I have no experience with this, I just wanted to say good luck and I hope everything works out for you!


gabrielsmommy04
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 9:29 PM
A lot has to do with how good your lawyer is and what the kids tell the social workers and the judge. I would push for her to have supervised visits with the kids so that someone can testify to the court how uncomfortablethey are with her. As for your kids its heads or tails they are well taken care of and you can prove that and she lost her kids also.
chrissy71377
by on Jun. 7, 2011 at 11:52 PM

Things just keep growing. We were told BM has no summer clothing for the children. She says she has no clothing at all for them. They never went to the dentist when they lived with her. She doesn't give them their ADHD meds all the time.  Last school year my SD have all low b and c averages, this year living with us she was a straight A student. She missed and was late over 25 times last school year, this year she wasn't late and only missed for doctors appt and I made sure she had a doctors note for evey one. My SS was taken out of a special class this year because he's doing so well. He also had all A and B's. They are allowed when they are with their mother to play unsupervised in a shell pit which is dangerous. I believe all of that shows neglect.


seaturtle1
by on Jun. 8, 2011 at 12:01 AM

Not bashing but do you see your own kids on a regular basis.  They might look down on you if you do not.  Good luck sounds like you have mde some good changes in your life.

darkeyedmom
by on Jun. 8, 2011 at 8:14 AM

 She abandoned them, and now she is grasping at straws to get some control back in her life. You're being treated (everyone has something) and the kids want to stay with you. You didn't mention how old they are. You're not seeking custody DH is. I wish you the best.

robin

chrissy71377
by on Jun. 9, 2011 at 10:17 PM

The kids are 12 and 10


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