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I have officially become that type of woman.

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:27 AM
  • 33 Replies

I did something I have never done in my entire life and Im not proud of it. I called my so's ex.

A month and a half ago, my SO blocked his ex from calling because he claimed she still wants him. Well we got into an argument and he was upset and unblocked her. We are on the same plan with sprint and I had no idea he had done this until I went there to block some numbers of my own. My ex will sometimes call from different numbers and I block every one. Well while on the site, I noticed there was no restrictions on his line, when you block someone it says "restricted". I didnt say 2 words, I just left it alone. I finally asked him about it last week and he was finally up front about talking to her. He told me she called him about her grandmother being sick. I asked him why he never told me about it and he said he thought I would be upset. He ended up putting her number back on block. For some reason, I couldnt accept that answer, I kept blocking it out of my mind and finally I called her. I found her number on an old bill from when he first blocked her and called it. I didnt say who I was until the end of the call. The ex told me that they had been catching up on things. I finally asked her about the sick grandmother and she told me she didnt know what I was talking about. You have no idea how much that shocked me. 

 I asked myself why would he lie about that? If it was so innocent, why would he tell me that and then she says she never mentioned her grandmother? He said they only talked about her grandmother and I know he liked the grandmother, he had mentioned before that they were close. But why would he block her then? Why would he then unblock her and the she just randomly calls? If hes so concerned about her grandmother, why would he then put the ex back on block?

I know, it was wrong of me to do that but my intuition was telling me he was not being truthful. I confronted him and of course he stick to his story and then said he doesnt know why she would say that because shes always been truthful. I asked him was he lying if shes always been truthful, whos the one whose lying to me then? She has no reason to lie to me, she didnt even know who I was until I told her at the end of the call and she sounded so confused. I didnt yell at her or anything, I was calm and even told her thank you at the end of the call. Ive been shaking since I confronted him, Im so angry but so heart broken. I know I was wrong for doing what I did but I had to know and now that I do, Im leaving him.

This was my first love, I have no idea how Im going to recover, I want to cry but at the same time I want to break things. I dont care what kind of advice I get, just give it to me straight and be mature.

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
TAG2.0
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:30 AM

Also, he got so angry and Im not sure why. I asked him to be honest with me and just say shes lying if she really is and he told me to leave him alone. Does that make him guilty?

fallenangel7386
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:31 AM
If he was acting like that then I would have called too. If you can't trust him and he is still lying to you then do what you think is best. If that is to leave then leave.
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brendens_mommy
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:36 AM

hmm sounds fishy to me...  but from what you said i would be pissed off as well just to be in the situation... as far as advice the only i have is try to talk it out  but since hes defensive then hes surely hiding something... good luck sweetie

TAG2.0
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:45 AM

I have never been the woman who does that though and I feel like he forced my hand. I had no choice but to call her and ask. Part of me wishes I never did becuse finding out theres a different story just makes me feel like shit.

kirstn007
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:51 AM
You wonder why he is living? Because he has fucked up intentions that is why! Dump his ass. I been there done that and i can guarantee you this is what u need to do.
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kirstn007
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:51 AM
Lieing *** i mean....stupid auto spell
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TAG2.0
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 3:00 AM


Quoting kirstn007:

Lieing *** i mean....stupid auto spell

I hate auto correct as well.

Im so mad I could bust his shit up, but I dont even have the will to move. I cant even cry. It sounds so fucking pathetic and Im kicking myself in the ass for giving my heart to him.

Madisons3boys
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 3:43 AM

Hey... This is NOT your fault. HE is the ass. NOT YOU! hugs

If he cannot see what a wonderful woman he has in front of him than it is HIS LOSS, and from everything said here it sounds like he is cheating in some way, whether it is just emotional cheating, (talking on the phone to another woman in the same way he does to you), physical cheating, (like the two of them met up somewhere and did something together), he is STILL cheating in some way.

I believe in this philosphy, "Fool me once shame on YOU, Fool me TWICE SHAME ON ME". I would not give him another chance. Not when he wont even admit it and just level with you.

DAHLONEGAMOMMY
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:00 AM

What he did was wrong but just because someone violated your trust doesnt mean the love is gone. That is why it hurts so much. You have this man whom you loved unconditionally and he has shown his appreciation by lying and then lying more to try to cover up the lies he has already told. He would have saved you both a lot of heart ache if he would have been honest. He wants his cake and eat it too. who doesnt? Now, three people are in the middle of a situation he created and he has the audacity to tell you to leave him alone. If he wasnt over his ex, he should have done the same with you.....leave you alone. You trusted him when he said it was over and now he lies about it. I am so sorry for you. Love is a painful emotion sometimes. You deserved better. You have no reason to feel guilty for doing what you did. He put you in that position and he got busted. He is upset because you called him on it and called is ex and got the truth. He has no where to hide now and he knows it. You did what you had to do to get the truth. He is the one who has a reason to feel guilty. I hope you can work through it because I truly believe that love is never wasted. If not, all the ladies of cafe mom will cry with you until its cried out! 

TAG2.0
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:17 AM

I have always told him to tell me anything and be honest, no matter how much it hurts. He couldnt even do that. I knew he was talking to her before he even told me and he had the nerve to get mad because instead of coming out and asking him, I asked if he had anything to tell me. Thats what a person does, I gave him time to answer, multiple chances and he always said the same thing. Then when I confront him he has the nerve to get mad and say Im playing games because I didnt just come out with it. Has the nerve now to get mad because I called her. Even tried to contact her via facebook after I confronted him. I knew because I had a mutual friend log onto his account and block her just to see if he would notice. They were never fb friends so why woul;d he look her up?

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