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don't know what to think or feel.

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 2:06 PM
  • 13 Replies

I felt devastated, but now I think I'm just going numb.  My s/o and i have been having problems.  The story is too long to get into, so I'm not going to get into it.  I've just tried and tried and tried to talk to him about how i'm feeling and he doesn't care enough to listen.  He doesn't want to listen, and all it seems he has for me is anger.  Well, we had an appointment today, with the OB/GYN, (i'm 9 days overdue), and this is after a huge fight last night.  So of course, I'm still unhappy about the fight because we really didn't resolve anything and he has this icy demeanor about him.  I can feel his disgust and hatred he has for me.  Being in the same room with him is just uncomfortable, and it just makes me mad because he totally disregards what it was that has been bothering me....always makes it out to be my fault that we have problems.  Anyways, he starts trying to talk to me, and as I've said, i've tried so many times to communicate to him how he's making me feel but it never gets through.  So I'm frustrated, and I start to cry, in the doctors office.  He tells me in this very hateful manner, 'stop crying.  when i look at you, i hate what i see.  don't shed another tear for me.'  Of course, this hurts.  the doctor comes in, he does the check, and leaves.  Steve tells me he loves me.  I say, 'don't tell me that after you just got done telling me you hate me'.  so he grabs my arm and starts saying i'm a horrible person.  one of the worst he's known.  just a horrible bitch.  So I start getting upset again.  The doctor comes back to schedule our induction.  I'm trying to hold it together.  The doctor leaves for the final time, and my s/o just leaves me in the doctors office.  Upset and crying.  I have to walk out of there on my own, looking like an emotional wreck.  I sobbed and sobbed when i got to my car.  I'm back at work now, but that's all I feel like doing.  I want to go pick up my other two kids and just go home.  His mother will be there with him, when I get home, so I'm thinking I'll just drop the kids off with her so she can visit with them, while I get some space.  If you are wondering if the name calling was warrented, it wasn't.  our situation is that he pays his ex over 80% his income for her and her one child, while i suppport myself and our two, soon to be three kids off my entire income, with the remaining 20%.  I was ok with this, but not when he wasn't at least giving us more of his time or at least helping out more around the house.  anytime i address these things, it automatically makes me the bad guy or the horrible bitch.  I'm just tired of living with somebody who thinks it's ok that I support myself, deal with the unfairness of him taking care of his ex while i do it all on my own, and then deal with the emotional abuse he puts me through...and on top of everything, he's always saying he'll take care of things around the house.  he forgets, so i remind him. then i'm the nag.  anything he says he's going to do...i can gaurantee won't happen.  I'm just exhausted and today was entirely too much.  The one person I need to be there for me the most just up and walked out on me.

by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 2:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tihone77
by Bronze Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 2:08 PM

I am so sorry.  (((HUGS)))  I hope things get better for you.

mamakenzi
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 2:10 PM
Have you guys tried counseling?
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Kiwismommy19
by Diamond Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 2:14 PM

hugs I'm so sorry. I hope things get better.

mom2bsoon83
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 2:15 PM


Quoting mamakenzi:

Have you guys tried counseling?


We have done counseling.  It helped, but he's just unwilling to talk.  :( 

AzariahsMother
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 2:20 PM
Big Hugs coming from me.
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ashley9603
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 2:29 PM

If he is like this now then just imagine how things will be when there is a baby in the house.You have your plate full and on top of working full time taking care of your children,you have a s/o whom is acting like a jerk.I went through this with my ex,I had to let him go,he drug me down and I wasnt happy.I was a much better person when we split.

.Angelica.
by Silver Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 2:46 PM

I'm sorry. I hope things get better soon. Have you tried counseling?

crafty_love
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 2:50 PM

I'm sorry you have to go thru this. There is no reason for him to be cruel. Is he by chance, cheating on you?  That seems like a possibility due to his behavior.

You are being emotionally and verbally abused and need to leave him hun. ((((BIG HUGS))))

mom2bsoon83
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 3:00 PM


Quoting crafty_love:

I'm sorry you have to go thru this. There is no reason for him to be cruel. Is he by chance, cheating on you?  That seems like a possibility due to his behavior.

You are being emotionally and verbally abused and need to leave him hun. ((((BIG HUGS))))


I don't know if he's cheating on me.  Out of curiosity, why do you think that's a possibility?  I wouldn't have guessed it being a possibility.  He did ask me today 'who's the guy?'  i was like, 'are you serious?!' i'm ten months pregnant!'  I haven't talked to anybody else about my problems, except on here and with my mother.

crafty_love
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 3:25 PM

Just a feeling I got is all. Drastic behavior changes either are from some sort of substance abuse, mental disorder, or cheating. Now that you say he's asking who's the guy, I really wonder. The one doing the accusing is usually the one trying to validate his behavior and erase his guilt.

I hope I am wrong on that hun.

Quoting mom2bsoon83:


Quoting crafty_love:

I'm sorry you have to go thru this. There is no reason for him to be cruel. Is he by chance, cheating on you?  That seems like a possibility due to his behavior.

You are being emotionally and verbally abused and need to leave him hun. ((((BIG HUGS))))


I don't know if he's cheating on me.  Out of curiosity, why do you think that's a possibility?  I wouldn't have guessed it being a possibility.  He did ask me today 'who's the guy?'  i was like, 'are you serious?!' i'm ten months pregnant!'  I haven't talked to anybody else about my problems, except on here and with my mother.


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