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Need advice/ opinions for a friend of mine

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:39 AM
  • 12 Replies

I can't go into too much detail but I am not sure how to advise a friend of mine who is having some major marital difficulties. While we were talking, she asked if I would mind coming here and asking since I am torn. For the few years her marriage has been rocky. Communication has been pretty none existent lately. She is also a sahm but she rarely gets out because they only have 1 working car. He works odd hours and will leave at different times in the morning and will come home odd hours also. She never knows when because he doesn't tell her ahead of time and just comes and goes so she doesn't plan anything to where she can get out. He doesn't help out with the kids or anything around the house. When he's home, he's on the computer or watching TV. Little to no interaction with her or the kids. He takes monthly trips for work for training and such. He is currently on one of those trips and she told him to not call or text her or anything while he's gone because he tends to make a big deal and act like he's the greatest husband when he's around coworkers (I have seen him do this). She told him this out of anger because they were fighting the last 2 days before he left. She has been trying to get hold of him today to apologize but he's not answering her phone calls, returning text messages or emails. She wants to know what she should do, should she continue to try to get a hold of him or should she let it be until he gets back? I can kind of see both sides here but I honestly can't tell her which would be the best way to go.

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
bcbmami
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:41 AM
BUMP!
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KatieGirls2
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:03 AM
The way my hubby is I would need to wait for him to call me or wait till he gets back. But I don't know how her husband reacts to things.... Sorry I know that's not much help...
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lioness3e
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:07 AM
Let it go until he gets back. If he returns her call, great. She told him not to call or anything so now she trying yo get a hold of him he'll probably let his pride get in the way of working things out like an adult.
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mommy2cristian
by Silver Member on Sep. 14, 2011 at 2:29 AM

 

Quoting lioness3e:

Let it go until he gets back. If he returns her call, great. She told him not to call or anything so now she trying yo get a hold of him he'll probably let his pride get in the way of working things out like an adult.

 

mamakenzi
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:25 AM


Quoting lioness3e:

Let it go until he gets back. If he returns her call, great. She told him not to call or anything so now she trying yo get a hold of him he'll probably let his pride get in the way of working things out like an adult.
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JC2223
by Bronze Member on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:26 AM

He is doing exactly what she told him and she can't fault him for that. If she said don't call, don't text then she changed her mind...you can't blame him for using it against her. She can try to call him once more, leave him a voicemail explaining why she is calling, give her apology then leave it alone until he gets home. If they are having such bad communication problems for a while now, I think counseling would benefit them. There is no fixing long lasting issues when communication breaks down.

luvemboth
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:35 AM



Quoting JC2223:

He is doing exactly what she told him and she can't fault him for that. If she said don't call, don't text then she changed her mind...you can't blame him for using it against her. She can try to call him once more, leave him a voicemail explaining why she is calling, give her apology then leave it alone until he gets home. If they are having such bad communication problems for a while now, I think counseling would benefit them. There is no fixing long lasting issues when communication breaks down.


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Livinwith3boys
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:38 AM

 SHE said don't call...I say, don't call...take that time to figure out what she wants or expects from him, and maybe write it down so they can discuss it when he gets home..ALSO, maybe if she stops calling, he'll get the hint that he needs to be more attentive to his family (meaning he'll realise she can live without him and be sad that he hasn't heard from her or the kids for the whole trip)

freshmom88
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:41 AM
Exactly

Quoting Livinwith3boys:

 SHE said don't call...I say, don't call...take that time to figure out what she wants or expects from him, and maybe write it down so they can discuss it when he gets home..ALSO, maybe if she stops calling, he'll get the hint that he needs to be more attentive to his family (meaning he'll realise she can live without him and be sad that he hasn't heard from her or the kids for the whole trip)

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itty_bitty
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:12 AM


Quoting freshmom88:

Exactly

Quoting Livinwith3boys:

 SHE said don't call...I say, don't call...take that time to figure out what she wants or expects from him, and maybe write it down so they can discuss it when he gets home..ALSO, maybe if she stops calling, he'll get the hint that he needs to be more attentive to his family (meaning he'll realise she can live without him and be sad that he hasn't heard from her or the kids for the whole trip)


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