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I am considering something and I need input...

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:42 PM
  • 60 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Should I

Options:

Fight the school and remind them a abt their zero tolerance policy and demand something be done

Tell my son to haul off and hit the bully

Tell my son to ignore the bully

Other - Please explain below.


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Total Votes: 101

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My son is being bullied. I spoke to the teachers today, and not much is being done. School is only 2 wks into it, and it has happened everyday. He never knew the kid before this yr, as he changed schools and never met this kid before.

The school is totally downplaying it and that ticks me off. So I am considering giving my son a free pass from punishment, when it comes to me, and punching the kid in the nose. It will stop the bullying, that I am sure of. The kid got hit last week by another student, and my son told me he wont even look at the other kid anymore. Yes, he will get a step 4. Yes, he will be suspended for 2 days. What do you think? Should I allow my child to haul off and hit him once, to stop it? I know this is terrible, but I think it will end the behavior....

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
WaMomOFfour
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:47 PM

I would talk to the school again and inform them that if they dont do anything to stop it you will be forced to go to the school board if that doesnt help i would let your son do what he has to do to defend himself

Ashleeb293
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:47 PM
I personally would never tell my child to hit another person no matter what. These things can be resolved in much more mature manners like making an appointment with the teacher and principal. Let them know how u feel and tell them you will personally contact the child's mother if nothing is done. Adult intervention is needed..not playground fist fights encouraged by parents. Jmo. Good luck and I hope your son stops getting bullied, that must be very hard for him.
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081499
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:48 PM

I don't think being violent back is ever the answer.  Visit the school and talk to the principal.  If you don't feel like things are going the way you want, then call up the superintendent.  We had one incident last year with bullying.  There was a younger girl who was trying to push my DD around  - she was very bossy and pushy and got in her face a lot.  DD and I, together, decided she needed to stand up to the girl, explaining that their school doesn't allow kids to act like that, that they were all better than that.  If DD pulling her aside and talking to her as an elder student didn't stop the bullying, our next step would have been to talk to the school.  It all ended up fine.  :)  Good luck - hope you get the result you want. 

mamakenzi
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:49 PM

I'm not going to lie, I make my kid stand up to bullies.  We talk about how she will get in trouble at school but she won't be in trouble at home.  So if I were in your position, I would tell him to sock the crap out of the kid and then praise him for it. 

pioneermommy
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:49 PM

Personally, if the school wasn't willing to do anything about it I would have the cops involved.  It is a crime now.

I am Shain, I have been happily married to the love of my life since 2008.  I was blessed with a beautiful sweet little girl in August of 2009, named Meadow Violet.  My husband and I have been praying for another little miracle and we know that we will be blessed with another child when God feels it is right. 


I am a cloth-diapering, breastfeeding, baby & toddler wearing, extended rear-facing and extended harnessing, religious, natural, joyful woman.

xomrs.chase
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:49 PM
My parents were raised in NJ so this might explain my choice. I was raised to defend myself. A boy hit me at a young age. My parents asked what I did. I said "I told the teacher" (who did nothing). My parents said "defend yourself. Don't start the fight- but finish it. If you get suspended for defending yourself I'll take you to lunch!" I didn't need to use it til high school. (Didn't get suspended tho). Kids STILL know who I am (I graduated almost 6yrs ago) because of what happened.. Nobody messed with me again hahaha
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DAHLONEGAMOMMY
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:50 PM

Every child should have the right to defend themselves but you do have other options prior to going that route. He needs to go straight to the teacher. If that doesnt work, then you take it higher. If you still dont get an end to the bullying, then tell your son to defend himself. However, I wouldnt suggest he do so without provocations. That wouldnt be self defense. I would be at the school every day until they did something about it. If not, go down to the next school board meeting and bring it up there. That will get there attention since it is to be public record. I did that for the gifted programs here. The county schools were getting funding from the state for gifted programs but wasnt using it for that purpose. When I didnt get anywhere with the school staff I went to the superintendent of schools. When he didnt do what he should have, I went to the school board along with all of my proof. Guess what was in every school in our county the next school year? Yep! Gifted programs. Whether your son fights back or not, it doesnt change the fact that the school isnt handling the issue as it is outlined in their zero tolerance stance. Until the school reacts to stop this kid, he will keep moving on to another victim and that is wrong. They have a responsibility to protect their students and if they dont, they shouldnt be surprised when kids protect themselves. 

yayay15
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:51 PM
I can see your point, I can. But, I don't know. And honestly...I have heard so many stories where the schools dont do anything to stop the bullies and those kids know how and when they can get away with it. It sucks that the bullies never get busted but the victim does the second they defend themselves. I really don't know what to tell you, but good luck and I really hope it stops. That's so sad :(
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Chazza26
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:54 PM
When my son was bullied I spoke to the parents!
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Madisons3boys
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:54 PM

Haha! Another Jersey girl! I lived the first 21 yrs of my life in Jersey. . My dad always told me the same thing, NEVER start a fight, but finish it! Thats why I am considering giving my son a free pass from punishments at home, that the next time the kid does it, punch him right in the nose. He told the teacher yesterday after he was kicked in the back, 2x, and called dumbass, and she said go back to your seat we will handle it tomorrow. What is that? So when I called the school today and spoke to the counselor, and said zero tolerance policy she said well the next time he does it your son can come to my office straight from class and we can talk. That doesnt sound 0 tolerance policy either, does it?

Quoting xomrs.chase:

My parents were raised in NJ so this might explain my choice. I was raised to defend myself. A boy hit me at a young age. My parents asked what I did. I said "I told the teacher" (who did nothing). My parents said "defend yourself. Don't start the fight- but finish it. If you get suspended for defending yourself I'll take you to lunch!" I didn't need to use it til high school. (Didn't get suspended tho). Kids STILL know who I am (I graduated almost 6yrs ago) because of what happened.. Nobody messed with me again hahaha

 

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