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ds bit dd

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 5:40 PM
  • 9 Replies

So ds will be 4 soon and dd is 1. They were playing together and I guess she tried to take his car from his hands, which she does a lot and I always stop her when I see it or he comes and tells me. Well this time, instead of telling me, I hear her screaming (I was sitting near them folding laundry and watching tv.... I know 1st mistake) so I jump and pull him off of her thinking that he was just pushing her till I see the bite marks! I couldn't believe it! There was no "Keylee, stop! Thats mine! Keylees trying to take my hotwheels!" like there usually is. Once I saw the bite marks he was in timeout and isn't allowed to go outside today because not only did he bite her, he hit her later on because she was touching his fire truck. 

I am a single mom so its only me. I am doing the best I can. I try to be as fair as possible like he doesn't understand why he gets timeouts and his sister doesn't. She is 1, she doesn't understand it and he is almost 4. He didn't start getting timeouts till he was 2. I live with my mom till I get back on my feet and I just got a job working nights, not late nights, at a fashion retail store and my mom watches them when I work and I am home all day with them while she works, their dad doesn't come around a lot. Only when he wants to. 

Anyways I just don't know what to do. He has pushed her before but as soon as he does it he knows he was wrong and says sorry to dd and myself, he doesn't do it on purpose so much anymore so I guess I thought I had nothing to worry about. 

I tried to explain to him that his sister was his only sister but he didn't understand so I just don't know what to do. 

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 5:40 PM
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Replies (1-9):
NewDawnFades
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 5:45 PM
Explain to him that she's too little to really get in trouble and he's big enough to understand when something is wrong. You're teaching her, but she can't do timeouts until she's bigger...and that you did the same thing when he was a baby. As far as the biting and hitting, I think you did the right thing, he has to understand no matter how mad he gets he can't do that to anybody, let alone his baby sister. Ask him if he thinks you would get in trouble if you bit grandma because you were mad at her and if he thinks it's a nice thing to do. He's old enough to be able to understand that.
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kaylarand
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 5:50 PM

meh, I bit my little brother when mom brought him home from the hospital. My whole family finds it funny now, but I'm sure I got into big trouble at the time. Jealousy is tough when you're little! Looking from the outside in, your son needs some attention. If you can't get a sitter, maybe do something really special when sister is taking a nap with your son? If you can get a sitter, get one for the baby and do something alone with your son, whether it's going to the park or a quick trip to the store for a new car. Also, simply separating them when they play would work as well. The 4 year old probably has a few toys the 1 year old shouldn't be playing with anyhow. Do you have a pack n play to put her in?

kaylarand
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 5:52 PM

I totally agree with you, but it would be mutiny in my house if I used grandma in a senario where she is hurt for any reason. the word grandma is synonomous with the word diety in my house! haha

Quoting NewDawnFades:

Explain to him that she's too little to really get in trouble and he's big enough to understand when something is wrong. You're teaching her, but she can't do timeouts until she's bigger...and that you did the same thing when he was a baby. As far as the biting and hitting, I think you did the right thing, he has to understand no matter how mad he gets he can't do that to anybody, let alone his baby sister. Ask him if he thinks you would get in trouble if you bit grandma because you were mad at her and if he thinks it's a nice thing to do. He's old enough to be able to understand that.


othermom
by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:01 PM

Just keep working with him on it that biting and hitting are not allowed. My son bit my daughter a few times when they were about that age.

xo.MommyW.xo
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:02 PM
Bit him. Thanks what my mom did to me, lol I never bit again
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PEEK05
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:02 PM

I would continue to discipline him consistently every time he does something like that.

rebmarie90
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:07 PM

I did that too him once when he was little, he bit me through my jeans, and I bit him back. He has never bit anyone since, until today. 

Quoting xo.MommyW.xo:

Bit him. Thanks what my mom did to me, lol I never bit again


rebmarie90
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:10 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you are right about the attention. I haven't been giving him as much as I used to, not only because of dd, but because of my new job. Instead of playing with him during nap time like I used to, I have been doing the house work that I can't do when dd is awake (I have always done that) and then laying down or getting ready for work. I will talk to my mom about watching the baby for a while so I can take him out one day. before I got my job we were doing a lot together when dd was sleeping or when my mom would watch her. 

Quoting kaylarand:

meh, I bit my little brother when mom brought him home from the hospital. My whole family finds it funny now, but I'm sure I got into big trouble at the time. Jealousy is tough when you're little! Looking from the outside in, your son needs some attention. If you can't get a sitter, maybe do something really special when sister is taking a nap with your son? If you can get a sitter, get one for the baby and do something alone with your son, whether it's going to the park or a quick trip to the store for a new car. Also, simply separating them when they play would work as well. The 4 year old probably has a few toys the 1 year old shouldn't be playing with anyhow. Do you have a pack n play to put her in?


busymominmo
by on Nov. 10, 2011 at 10:40 AM

It sounds like you are doing fine. Both my girls went through a biting stage. They just have to learn that that's not an appropriate way to handle disagreements. My 5 yr. old still gets jealous of my 3 yr old sometimes. she doesn't bite her but she talks mean to her. Sometimes they get along really good. I just hope one day she realizes how special her sister is!!!! Hang in there momma!!!!

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