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What am I going to do? maybe long, but I need insight from someone. Update at Top in blue....HOLY UPDATE!!! in red

Posted by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 12:37 PM
  • 82 Replies

 I worked all last night. I got home, and DH was annoyed with the kids, having to get them up and so on. He ended up pushing me and making me hit my head on the corner of the wall. So when my mom got off work I called her over and told her everything. Now me and the kids are at her house. She is actually  going to help me. HE has been to her house and called and texted. Right now he has been kissing my butt. But enough is enough. And I wanted to update.

Update 11/29: So I have read each and every reply. I did reply twice but this was my first chance to be on the full site to update.

I am going tomarrow to apply for public house. Even though I work fulltime finding a 3 bedroom that I can afford is not going to happen. Rent is crazy hight where I live. Secondly I contacted the human services office today. I work overnights tonight, so the kids will be at the sitters tomarrow while dh is at work so I can walked to the housing office to apply and he wont know.

When I talked to housing today they said that the wait for a 3 bedroom is very short.

I also contacted several lawyers. But I cannot get an appointment right away. First I need to see how much money I need to move, and pay the current bills I have, then I can see how much I can spend on a consultation and retainer.

Thats all for now.

Again thank you all for your insight. Im not dumb, nor willing to put my children in harms way. but leaving is easier said than done. I have to 1)be safe 2) have someplace to go and 3) figure out how to handle custody so he cannot just split with my babies, or anything of that nature. 



My marriage is a joke. I want to leave, but then again we have 3 children and I want to make it work for them. My dh is mean, manipulative, angry and recently has turned violent.

Usually its just verbal and mental assults. Now he has laid his hands on me 3 times. the first time he grabed me by the head and shook. The second was a double handed shove and finally he head butted me. I never got any bruises.

He works. But his time at home is spent on the Xbox. he doesnt help around the house. I also work full time as well.

He says Im not trying hard enough to be sweet and sentimental. I am not a mushy person. Never have been. He is, when it is convient for him.

It seems like everything I do is wrong, and latley is dh has started to question my parenting in snide ways. Reminding me to do obvious things, acting like I have no idea how to handle our kids and so on.

Ive been suggesting counsling for months to no avail. I do not know how to leave. I have no where to go. AGH! What can I do to a) fix things or b) split?


by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 12:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Cheryl on Nov. 26, 2011 at 12:42 PM
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Well, Hon as much as you want to make it work for the kids they see what is going on and you are not setting a good example for them. Call the police go to a shelter go talk to the welfare office to see what kind of help you could get. Get a job to start saving money but you should not be allowing all that to happen.
My husband said he should of left his ex along time before he did he stayed for the kids  I  don't think you should stay for the kids. Good Luck! Pm me if you want to talk more

by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 12:47 PM
13 moms liked this
Well.... Let's review what you just wrote
1. He's physically abusive
2. He's mentally abusive
3. He's verbally abusive
4. He doesnt spend time with the kids
5. He doesn't spend time with you
6. He doesn't trust you as a mother.
7. He's not willing to put in the effort to make your marriage better

Does this sound like someone you want to be married to? I think not. It's clear as day. He either chooses to make being a father and husband a priority or you leave him. You are damaging your children more by staying.
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by Elisabeth on Nov. 26, 2011 at 1:39 PM
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Staying with an abusive person does more harm to your children than leaving would. Contact a domestic violence shelter for advice and help leaving him.
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by Bronze Member on Nov. 26, 2011 at 1:48 PM
Get out before he starts hurting your kids.
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by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 2:45 PM
1 mom liked this
You have the children you shouldn't br forced to leave it should be him. My ex was the same way. That's why he's my ex.
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 2:48 PM
1 mom liked this
I know how hard it is to leave but others are right that you should. I was in your shoes and I envisioned what my life with him would be like in 20 years. I realized I couldn't live that way. I just left and I have peace now. I also have hope that someone will love me well someday.
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by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 2:51 PM

leave. my friend is in an abusive situation, and it's not even as bad as yours (physically, the rest is there and she has 3 kids too) and i think she needs to get out too. do NOT be a doormat, do NOT take abuse. there is no reason for it. do not hurt yourself or your kids by staying. people do not stop being abusive. leave, and i wish you luck and safety

by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 4:11 PM

Take your children and run, if you don't have the finaces get to a shelter asap. This is not positive what you are doing. The long term affects can have you and your children in therapy. Please get out for the sake of your kids. Do not say that you are saying for thier sake.  The best gift that you can give your children is the gift of a happy home even if it is just you and them in it. Good luck and get moving.

by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 6:11 PM
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My SO tells the kids mainly the boys once you hit a girl there is no stopping. He head butted you thats tells me two things. One he has learned how to hurt you so you can't call the police--dangrous. Two he likes you confused,hurting and dazed. If your daughter was dating a boy and he did these things what would you do?? If your son did this to a girl how would you feel?? This is what they are learning. 

by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 6:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Run fast and run far honey. There are plenty of places to go and organizations that will help you legally and financially. Protect yourself and your children.

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