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Need divorce advice asap!

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 7:56 AM
  • 30 Replies
First I want to apologize for the length of this post, but im going to have to start from the beginning. My husband and I have been married for 5 yrs and have 2 children together. In April of 2010 we had just moved into a new place and he abondoned me and the kids for another woman. I was devastated, I had no work experience as I had always been a sahm, and he left me with two children, no car, and no way to survive. I quickly let go of the devastation, picked myself up, and started putting the pieces back together. In July I ended up moving in with my mil upon invite because I had nowhere else to go. My husband was arrested in august for an htv charge - habitual traffic violator. His gf stole all of his money the night he was arrested, so his mom bailed him out and weve been living under the same roof. We were okay at being civil and were going to file a civil divorce but he was arrested for another htv charge last month. Since he has been bailed out, again, things have been nasty. He doesnt do anything for his boys, no fin assistance, hardly watches them ect ect. I told him today that I had enough and would be filing through an attorney and he said fine but hes going to fight me on everything. I need advice on this. I now have my own place, my own car, work full time, and go to school. He is living with his parents again, pending two htv charges which are D felonies, has now had his license suspended for 10 years, but does have a full time job. What are the chances of him getting my babies??? Im really freaking out about his threat to "fight me on everything"
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by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 7:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Islandmom2boys
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:01 AM
4 moms liked this
I would say his chances are very slim. Just get a good lawyer and everything will be ok.

Hugs to you for being so strong!!
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itsallabtthem84
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:03 AM
If you are that scared he will take your kids the go down and file child support on him even if the divorce is not final. Do you life in a state where tout only need 1signature on the divorce decree? If so do your divorce that way. Be sure to document everything including the date and time everything is said and done. Keep it al in one little notebook.
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itsallabtthem84
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:11 AM
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Also to add, most judges usually favor who ever already has the kids. He may also just trying to scare you to make you do something you will regret later. Don't let him get to you because if you do then he knows he wins and will continue to do that type of stuff to you.
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SallyBGood
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:02 AM

he's a jerk..

he's just saying that to get under your skin.  sounds like he will be going back to jail soon.

just file and let your lawyer take care of things.  :)

lioness3e
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:14 AM
1 mom liked this
What I found through my divorce... Cowards like to talk and throw words around. He doesn't want the kids he wants to make you unhappy and scared. His words are empty threats. Get a good lawyer and show him how it's done. He's unstable and I'd be shocked if the Court gave him anything other then parenting time.
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GOBryan
by Gold Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:21 AM

None. He won't. Especially if he has felonies. There's absolutely no way unless he can prove that you are an unfit mother (drugs, etc) and abusing them, so don't worry about it. His history is recorded and much worse. Also, the court system is more bias against fathers and 99% of the time, the children automatically go to the custody of the mother unless proven unfit. 

mtfarms
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:24 AM
The fact the he abandoned you does not sit well for him.
mamaeagle216
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:25 AM
I would THINK he would probably get some visitation with them but I highly doubt any judge will grant him partial custody let alone full custody. I just can't see someone looking at his record and situation and saying 'yeah this is a good father' its not about what he wants or what you want. That judge will be there to decide the best and safest plan for your boys.
I could be wrong, but I doubt it. I would put money on you getting most custody as long as you don't have a bad recent past as well. The judge will obviously think the boys need a father in there life bit if he screws up again if betters you chances to get ill custody. But write everything down. EVERYTHING. No matter how stupid it sounds if you present a well documented history against him you will make yourself look better.
Good luck and I hope everything turns out in the best interest of your boys.
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jabs54
by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:25 AM

 It's just big talk, I wouldn't worry about the judge giving the kids to him.  However, I will say that when my dd went through a nasty divorce we were shocked that the judge saw no problem giving an abusive, alcoholic, sex addict visitation alone with a baby.  My dd had to change lawyers and fight to keep the visits at her house where she can monitor them.  In the end he gave up the fight and it's working out beautifully.   Good luck hon.  You're doing a great job thus far. 

vwd_johnson
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:28 AM
He is not going to win to get the kids. The court's will look at the fact that he's been arrested twice, see that he has a suspended license, and with proof that the children were living with YOU while he ran out, just no way.

File now seperately for sole custody & child support. And then get a lawyer and file for divorce. You'll be fine
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