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He wont do it!

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:58 PM
  • 16 Replies

Some of you may remember that 4 days ago I was told that I was approved to get childcare so that I can go look for work. I have 3 kids and one is a 4 year old that is not potty trained. On that day I stopped just letting him take his time and put him in underpants during the day and pull ups only at night. Since then he has only had 1 accident! Yay! BUT, he wont poop! He holds it in all day long and then after he gets in pull ups he just lets it go and goes through 2 pull ups before bed. I don't know what to do. He cries all day that he has a tummy ache. I worry that part of it is because he wont let himself poop during the day (other part being that I think he has a tummy bug because his poop is watery and he isn't very hungry lately). How do I get him to poop on the potty?!?! I think if he could just get though the first one that it would be better (I hope).

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:20 PM

stickers or some type of rewards for pooping in the potty.

itsallabtthem84
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:21 PM
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Jadegirl1819
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:31 PM

Are you sure he isn't constipated?  I know it sounds weird but it could look like he has diarrhea and not a worry when he is actually constipated and the "diarrhea" is actually just liquidy stuff that gets around the blockage.

I have a couple friends that didn't believe me when I told them.  Their kids were complaining about stomach aches for months and they both finally took the 3 and 4 year olds to a GI specialist.  Not only did they have to have blood workups done but they had xrays done of the bellies.  Both were severely constipated.  They just didn't believe me because they didn't think they could be constipated and still have a bm daily.

Butterflysky_24
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:43 PM
For a while I let my son be pee trainer but not poop trained. I put a diaper on him so he could go poop, then when he was done back in undies. One day he just decided he was ready to poop on the potty. Not sure how long your son has been pee trained for the potty but he may just need a little time. My 4 year old nephew still has poop accidents cuz he is afraid of the potty for whatever reason. His mom sets him on the potty when she knows he has to go, and eventually it comes out and he can't stop it. Would this work for u to put him on the potty in the evening and tell him he can't get up till he goes?
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LindaClement
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:37 PM

This is really typical... here.

In places in the world where there are no prizes for mastering bathroom business at the earliest age possible, this never happens. But here, because there is urgency created, power struggles arise, causing anxiety, and there you go: bowel retention.

The best suggestion I can give is to stop trying, stop talking about it completely and leave it alone.

He will grow up --not from pressure to grow up, or pushing or 'training' but because he wants to and has a deep, internal need to. You can trust that he will not be in diapers when he's 11.

MysticLove
by Tiffany on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:38 PM

That is what I was doing.... but I can not find childcare that is willing to take a 4 year old who isn't potty train or almost done potty training. We don't have the waiting option anymore.

Quoting LindaClement:

This is really typical... here.

In places in the world where there are no prizes for mastering bathroom business at the earliest age possible, this never happens. But here, because there is urgency created, power struggles arise, causing anxiety, and there you go: bowel retention.

The best suggestion I can give is to stop trying, stop talking about it completely and leave it alone.

He will grow up --not from pressure to grow up, or pushing or 'training' but because he wants to and has a deep, internal need to. You can trust that he will not be in diapers when he's 11.


missg8
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 7:39 PM

 For peace of mind you might want to talk to his doctor. If nothing is wrong then try a chart with a prize at the end of the day and in the morning. His favorite snack or food.

Bmat
by Barb on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:26 PM

If he waits until the diaper goes on, maybe put it on and every 10 or 15 minutes afterward take him to the potty in the hope of catching him when he lets himself have the urge.  Be calm, don't let him see concern or stress. Smile and say we're going to give this a try.  Hug him even if it doesn't work that time, try again in another 10 or 15 minutes.

marisab
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:37 PM

 Rewards and praise

BaileynMe
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:41 PM
DD has a big issue with holding it in; she LOVES to put coins in her piggy bank though, so that's what she gets when she poops. Yes, I pay my child to poop. It works most of the time, though. I set them on the counter so every time she goes to the bathroom she sees them.
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