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How do I tell my friend that I don't want her and her friends around my baby after he is born?

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:27 PM
  • 35 Replies

 My best friend and i got into a fight in Auguest and we recently started talking and hanging out again. Now that i'm going to be a mom i realize that i don't want her to influnce my son. She drinks every weekend, she started smoking, her friends do drugs, and the cuss more then a rap song! She thinks that after i have my baby everything will go back to how it used to be but i don't know how to tell her that she's in for a huge surprise!

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
paradise924
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:30 PM

Your baby is more important than your friendship with someone who in my opinion sounds like a low-life. Ditch her.

Bmat
by Barb on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:32 PM
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Back off now from hanging out.  It may be necessary to start now- when you see someone smoking say that there's no way you are going to let your child be around a smoker. Drinking-  I don't see a problem with it unless she gets out of control around you.  Same with drugs- her friends who do drugs and cuss- this shouldn't affect you or your child. If she does then it is different. But make the split now and don't wait until the baby is born.

aidyns_mommy
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:32 PM
2 moms liked this
You don't tell her, you don't worry about it, you just have your child and move on! When have a 3 year old and if we go to a friends house and they cuss we leave, if people come over and they cuss they have a warning because I know people slip than they leave. Our friends understand the others we don't associate with anymore, your a mom now and that comes first!
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calebsmommy13
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:41 PM

 i can't just stop talking to her now she's throwing me a baby shower next month!

aidyns_mommy
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:45 PM
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You don't have to be mean and just stop you just tell her the rules. If she wants to come visit there is no drinking, cussing,smoking etc. If you go visit her than you can't say much cuz that's her place or whereever she is staying but you do have the choice to not go there. If she can't respect that then you dont want her in your childs life. If she does respect that then there is no reason why you can't still be friends and maybe have a girls night once in a while too!

Quoting calebsmommy13:

 i can't just stop talking to her now she's throwing me a baby shower next month!



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mamaeagle216
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:50 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with this. Lay down the rules. No reason for your baby to be exposed to these things so early in life. Tell her straight out. You don't want smoking, drinking, drugs or foul language around your child. Tell her you appreciate all she is doing by throwing the shower and you enjoy her friendship but you're not the only person in your life anymore. You have a child to think of. She either is a good friend and understands or she's not. Either way, at least you know.
Good luck and I hope it works out for you.


Quoting aidyns_mommy:

You don't have to be mean and just stop you just tell her the rules. If she wants to come visit there is no drinking, cussing,smoking etc. If you go visit her than you can't say much cuz that's her place or whereever she is staying but you do have the choice to not go there. If she can't respect that then you dont want her in your childs life. If she does respect that then there is no reason why you can't still be friends and maybe have a girls night once in a while too!


Quoting calebsmommy13:

 i can't just stop talking to her now she's throwing me a baby shower next month!





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BaileynMe
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Sit down and set some boundaries with her. Something like, "I love that we're talking again, and I care very much about you, but I have to tell you that when this baby comes, a lot of things will change for me. I value you as a person, and I have enough respect for our friendship that I wanted to sit down with you beforehand so there wasn't any misunderstanding and you didn't get blindsided." Then lay out the rules: no smoking, cursing, or drugs whatsoever allowed at your house, and whatever else may need to be outlined to make sure she stays in check around your child. If she can't respect that at least around you, then you'll have to cut her loose, but at least you'll have been honest and open with her.
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jabs54
by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:02 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting calebsmommy13:

 i can't just stop talking to her now she's throwing me a baby shower next month!

 I was going to tell you to quick talking to her now too but I guess you can't.  I guess I would have a talk with her about the behaviors you won't allow in front of your child.  Give her a chance to comply.  Then if she doesn't you can stop talking to her.

ceciliam
by Cecilia on Jan. 16, 2012 at 10:22 AM
2 moms liked this

If you no longer want to be friends with her, then you shouldn't be accepting a baby shower from her. That just does not seem right.

Mommy2justone
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 10:23 AM
1 mom liked this

I would just remove myself from the situation. I had a friend like that, one I didn't want around my daughter any longer. I just stopped calling, stopped answering the phone and cut off ties with her. You could also just tell her that you don't think you should be friends any longer. Your life is about to change for the better and she just doesn't fit in. 

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