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Do Smacked Children Grow Into Aggressive Adults?

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:39 AM
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2 moms liked this
I was 5 to 8 yrs of age when 
My parents tried to punish me with belt hits and smacking. but Id always show them the bruises and welts crying & asking them, "why?" and "look what you did!".  They soon stopped because I guess I guilt tripped them. Lol!
I was a good kid and rarely felt the punishment fit the crimes.
Unfortunately my foster siblings got the wits beat out of them on a daily basis.  They grew up to become emotionally fucked up adults. Some now beat their own kids. Most of them served jail time and didn't finish school.  I cut my parents & foster siblings out of my life. I don't want them around my kids now. 
 Sorry what they went through as kids, but they chose to continue the cycle of abuse as adults. 

I learned what NOT to do to my kids.
Time outs work. If my kids repeatedly stick their fingers into a socket, I'll smack the hand. But nothing that warrants corporal punishment or the abuse my parents gave.  My parents were old school ignorant immigrants who were raised as beaten kids.  We can choose laterals adults to stop the violence!

Weeks ago, I stopped a mom from slapping her 8 yr old across the face in public because he told her. "I hate you!". I told her its not necessary to hit.  I spoke calmly to them. I told her i understand her stress, but if she continues to do that, he can grow up to bludgeon her in her sleep.
I gave her my daycare servs. card.
Told her if she needs breaks. I will babysit.  Most kids who are bullies in school, get beatings and/or neglected at home.

We really must stop this form of discipline that crosses the line from discipline to violence. Even if economic times are hard and we as parents lose it, we will lose much more raising aggressive, emotionally damaged assholes for the next generation.

Do Smacked Children Grow Into Aggressive Adults?
The Huffington Post UK, February 8, 2012 | 8:14:21 AM (EST)
Spanking, yelling or shaking your child has long-term effects on their behavioural development and can lead to an aggressive nature later on in life, a study has revealed.

An intensive review of 20 years worth of research found that the more a child is physically disciplined or yelled at when they'€™re naughty, the more likely they will display similar aggressive behaviour when they become adults.

American researchers Dr Joan Durrant from the University of Manitoba and Ron Ensom from the Children'€™s Hospital of Eastern Ontario, highlighted a study of 500 in particular, where it found children to be less likely to challenge adults if parents stopped using physical discipline.

The study authors added that the majority of studies they analysed found hitting a child greatly increased their chances of developing depression and mental problems when they grow up. This was also the case with delinquency and spousal assault.

Researchers claim that there are no positive consequences of physical punishment and by slapping children, parents may get them to do something in the immediate situation but it could result in side effects later on in their child's life.

'€œVirtually without exception, these studies found that physical punishment was associated with higher levels of aggression against parents, siblings, peers and spouses,'€ the authors of the study wrote in the Canadian Medical Association Journal.

Phillip Noyes from the NSPCC, agrees with the findings and believes that smacking children is not the answer to effective discipline. He told The Huffington Post:

"We all accept that parents have to be in charge and that clear and consistent boundaries are essential for children and young people to have a secure and happy childhood.

"But evidence shows that smacking is not an effective form of punishment and sets a bad example, especially for children who have a troubled past as in this story line. It teaches children that violence is an answer and it undermines the trusting relationship between a child and their carer.

"Young people tell us it leaves them feeling frightened and confused but often doesn't actually deter them from repeating what they were smacked for.

"And for a minority of bad parents who go well beyond smacking and seriously harm their children, it is all too often used as an excuse to social services, the police and the courts.

"Smacking undermines the hard work of people working in child protection and leaves many confused about what they can and can't do."

Smacking is currently legal in the US, with certain restrictions varying from state to state, but is banned in 20 European countries including Germany and Spain.

Although smacking your child is not illegal in the UK, there are '€˜reasonable chastisement'€™ rules that came into place in 2004 which means that any physical contact cannot leave a mark on the child's skin. 
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:39 AM
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Replies (1-5):
caro100
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this

 I personally don' think, reasonable spanking promotes aggression, what you describe fits more into the abuse department.  Smacking is not beating with a paddle or bruising witha belt. Its a sharp tap to get their attention, big difference.  My 2 boys are adults and they now say, they didn't get enough "smacks", they said they remembered the rules better, with a tap that said,"I mean business".

seamonkey419
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:12 PM
2 moms liked this

My parents spanked me and I'm just fine, at least i think I am. What you describe sounds more like abuse. My dad never hit me with anything other then his hand and it wasn't enough to leave any marks. When it comes to spanking its more about the alarm and embarrassment of it then anything else. It hurts the pride not the kid. I don't think there is anything wrong with it when used appropriately. My mom and dad always smacked my hands when I touched or tried to touch something I shouldnt and if i talked back they would tap my mouth.

-PB
by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:27 PM

 This is a very interesting subject.  I'm sure there is evidence to support both sides of this argument.  I'm not sure if corporal punishment breads violent behavior in all or even most cases but I do know that I was spanked as a child and was extremely aggressive as an adolescent and young adult. 

I do believe however that corporal punishment sends the wrong message.  It kinda sends a message that if someone doesn't do what you tell them or you want them to do then you can hit them in as long as it is done in an orderly fashon and it teaches them a lesson.  In the "adult" world if you hit someone (ie another adult) because they don't do what you tell them to do, you go to jail for assault.  For this reason I choose not to physically discipline my child.  I think the idea of ironic punishment that fits the crime better teaches lessons.  I think parents sometimes use spanking because they get frustrated or they run out of ideas for discipline.

danssugarbabe
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:34 PM

I only tap Cody's hands when he gets into something he shouldn't and it makes him realize that he shouldn't be doing that (he loves our toliet paper), and I only spank Shaleigh when she back talks me or just flat out doesn't mind or tells me no just because she doens't want to do something.  She always has the tendency to say stuff like I make the decisions.  Wrong you are 5 not the adult.  Sometimes I would just love to strangle her but instead I stand outside on the porch or in the parking lot to cool down.  We are so much alike she will turn me gray headed

TrentonGirl
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:40 PM
I was spanked (not beat) as a child and im fine. Before i did something wrong i thought about it and most of the time decided not to do it. My son and sd both get spankings. My mom was beat as a child and she fine. She never beat us but she did spank us.
On a different note. You parents could have been put in jail for spanking a foster child. Its not allowed. My aunt is a foster parent and when she started she was told point blank if she were to spank a foster child she would go to jail.
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