Hi ladies
I have a son who will be 3 in April. For the last month, Ive noticed him doing something that I am having a hard time dealing with. When my son gets scared, for whatever reason, (in the past month, triggers have been...another toddler acting up, then going silent, him walking past this toddler then the toddler screamed while behind him....a part in his movie that he's watched a million times, when my mother in law's dog barked while right next to him) he starts to SCREAM. Im not talking normal, "Im a toddler and Im pissed" screaming, Im talking about the windows are going to shatter and when I pick him up my eardrums feel like they will rupture screaming. This screaming session will last for about three minutes. I try to pick him up and comfort him, but he either pushes me away and tries to hit me, or pinches my face. It is so mentally draining. I have NO IDEA how to handle a situation like this. I understand that he's scared, but the hitting and pinching AND screaming are not behaviors that I want him to think are okay. Ive tried being loving and kind, Ive tried putting him into time out, even spanking and nothing seems to work. This situation happened about 30 minutes ago and I tried to love and comfort him. When he drew blood on my face, I spanked him and put him into his room. He finally stopped screaming, but he hasent come out of his room yet. I tried to go in there and he wouldnt look at me or pay attention to me AT ALL. Im at my witts end. My child is strong willed by nature so I know what a toddler temper tantrum is like. This is something different completley. It leaves me shaking and depressed. I feel like taking him to a child physcologist to get answers. Has anyone had this happen to their kid and if so, what is it??? How did you deal? Thank you in advance to listening to my long story.
If he freaks out more when you try to comfort him, have you tried sitting next to him but not touching him and just talking calmly to him?
I would definately talk to his ped. There must be something that triggers this behavior. Good luck.
Have you tried to throw a blanket or a towel over him when he starts screaming. sometimes blocking the visual that stared the fit will stop it. Just toss it over him and at least if you do have to grab him he wont be able to pinch and scratch you. Kind of like wrapping an infant
My DD did this when she was younger, but she'd scream cry and strip her clothes off. She'd be inconsolable and irrational. I think that its hard because they don't have the verbal skills to adequately convey what they are feeling. I didn't really know what to do either, so like you I would just try things and fail mostly. When she'd calm down I'd try to talk to her and tell her that when she gets like that Mommy doesn't know what to do, that it was OK to be angry, but she has to understand that she can't just strip her clothes off in the middle of the store, or at a friends house. It was a phase and eventually she grew out of it.
Once when she was being babysat she had a fit and stripped down in front of the babysitter, afterwards she was so embarrassed that she never did that again. I know this doesn't help on how to fix the problem, but you aren't alone and it was a phase for my DD that she eventually grew out of.
Perhaps when he is calm show him appropriate ways to be angry... by you doing it. Tell him when I get angry I go into my room and scream too, but I scream into my pillow (or hit it or throw it depending on what deem reasonable) perhaps if he knew a better more acceptable way to get mad he would use some of the coping skills that you deem appropriate. How do you show anger? How does your husband show anger? I have a really hard time showing/coping/allowing myself to feel angry so this was a hard one for me. Good Luck.
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what's the best way to...
- amc103
on Feb. 15, 2012 at 7:14 AM