My 10-year-old son is being picked on... what to do?
I recently bought my sons (8 & 10) some new clothes from the Gap for school. This morning when I handed the oldest one of the new Gap shirts to wear to school, he got very upset and refused to wear it because he said the kids in his class made fun of him when he wore the last one saying, "Ew, who wears clothes from the Gap anymore?" I was shocked. Still am. I mean I know that kids are like that...they were like that when I was a kid! But back then you weren't cool UNLESS your clothes came from the Gap, so things have changed in that way!
After a quick vent on Facebook I have found that I'm supposed to be shopping at Hollister for his clothes. First of all, I didn't even know they sold clothes for a 10-year-old. And second of all, I can't afford to shop there. :/
What am I supposed to do? Do I do whatever I need to do - like put my daughter into daycare and get a job so I can buy my sons clothes that don't get them picked on at school? Or do I tell him to suck it up and wear the clothes I've bought for him?
I could see if they were girls, this kind of stuff going on...but it's boys. Boys making fun of other boys because they're wearing clothes from the Gap. What the hell would they say if - God forbid - we bought their clothes at Walmart?
I grew up I had to wear Walmart and Kmart clothes. It doesn't matter kids will pick on other kids for anything. That's part of growing up. Tell your child to wear the clothes you buy them because other kids aren't lucky enough to wear the designer clothes.
Kids can be harsh and cruel and there is really nothing wrong with the clothes you bought him. What I would do is assure your son that kids will be cruel and that no matter what you buy him, kids will always find something to pick on(because they themselves are insecure, jealous, bored, just kids).....he really will have to try to stick up for himself verbally. If it gets to the point of disruption at school and it is affecting his learning..that may be a different story..you can privately talk to his teacher and or principal to see if it a particular kid...maybe they can be reprimanded or they can keep an extra eye out for your son. But, if it gets to the point of bullying ...and not just teasing that i would definitely address with the school. It is hard to wonder what to do, whether to return the clothes and maybe let him pick some out himself that he sees the others wearing...Walmart isn't so bad afterall...with cool sayings on shirts these days...so, maybe you can just get some ideas from your son on what it is about the clothes that the others are making fun of....and see if it is really just him not liking them. Good luck and I hope the teasing stops.
My first reaction to this was that he should wear what I buy for him and who cares what the boys at school are saying and then I posted the vent to Facebook and an acquaintance of mine sent me a list of the stores I'm *supposed* to be shopping in: Hollister, Aeropostale, American Eagle, and Abercrombie & Fitch. She then went on to say [basically] that my 3-year-old, who wears clothes from Children's Place, is being dressed with "too much cute, not enough edge". WTF? So she had me second guessing myself, thinking that I'm going about this the wrong way. :/
Yeah, I guess I can try to find him some of these trendier brands at secondhand stores. But then the kids will probably know that they are from previous seasons and make fun of him for that. Ugh. This is one part of parenting that I was not ready for quiet yet. They're still in elementary school for crying out loud!
Quoting Dimples04:
I'd reinforce that making fun of anyone is NOT cool & for your kids to go to the counselor if the teasing continues. The counselor could do a group (so not to pinpoint) on bullying. That said if you want to update their clothes. Try EBay or try 2nd hand stores. They have name brand clothes for less.
I'd just tell him to suck it up and ignore them. The brand of clothing he wears to school should be the least of anyone's priority. If they're clean and for the most part hole free, then that's all that matters. Besides, if you bust your ass to get him the "cool" clothes, you'll just have to do it all over again when the cool store changes. Not to mention, do you really want to teach him that the most important thing is to wear clothes that his peers will approve of? Or to be happy with who he is and what he has? If he really truly wants those other clothes and not what you've provided for him, make him work for them. Give him chores and an allowance and tell him he's free to spend his allowance in any legal way he sees fit.
This is sound advice, thank you so much. I considered calling the school to talk to their principal about it, but then I wasn't sure if I should. I think they have more important things to worry about than kids being made fun of for wearing the wrong brands of clothing to school. But I will ask my son when he gets home if those boys said anything to him today and if they did, I'll probably say something to the principal tomorrow. I hate to think of my son feeling insecure about his appearance. :(
Quoting JCC31:Kids can be harsh and cruel and there is really nothing wrong with the clothes you bought him. What I would do is assure your son that kids will be cruel and that no matter what you buy him, kids will always find something to pick on(because they themselves are insecure, jealous, bored, just kids).....he really will have to try to stick up for himself verbally. If it gets to the point of disruption at school and it is affecting his learning..that may be a different story..you can privately talk to his teacher and or principal to see if it a particular kid...maybe they can be reprimanded or they can keep an extra eye out for your son. But, if it gets to the point of bullying ...and not just teasing that i would definitely address with the school. It is hard to wonder what to do, whether to return the clothes and maybe let him pick some out himself that he sees the others wearing...Walmart isn't so bad afterall...with cool sayings on shirts these days...so, maybe you can just get some ideas from your son on what it is about the clothes that the others are making fun of....and see if it is really just him not liking them. Good luck and I hope the teasing stops.
Well, you could teach and encourage your son to blow it off and ignore people who are dumb. Give him tools to deal with the situation, and maybe even talk with the teacher about how you can be proactive.
No need to jump hurdles with clothes- buying. *I* never had cool clothes as a kid, and I made it. GL mama.
YOUR FB FRIEND IS AN IDIOT.
You're not 'supposed' to buy ANYTHING.
Kids that target other kids will pounce on ANYTHING. Whether it was more or less expensive than what they have. Teach your kid to deal- and be proud of who he is, and dodge that little butthole. Ya I said it lol.
Quoting PisceanMom:
My first reaction to this was that he should wear what I buy for him and who cares what the boys at school are saying and then I posted the vent to Facebook and an acquaintance of mine sent me a list of the stores I'm *supposed* to be shopping in: Hollister, Aeropostale, American Eagle, and Abercrombie & Fitch. She then went on to say [basically] that my 3-year-old, who wears clothes from Children's Place, is being dressed with "too much cute, not enough edge". WTF? So she had me second guessing myself, thinking that I'm going about this the wrong way. :/
Maybe try to find clothing that does not have GAP written on it. I can't remember is the logo always on their shirts? I find it ridiculous that your fb friend told you that. This is a chance to teach your child that you are not just defined by the clothes that you wear. Kids will pick on you for anything....and you need to instill a sense of self worth to your children so that they don't base their opinion of themselves on what others think. I know it is easier said than done....and I feel for you and your son.
what's the best way to...
- PisceanMom
on Feb. 15, 2012 at 8:57 AM