I'll start by saying I am a sahm of 3, and have resons to believe 2, possibly all 3 have autism. But that isn't the main issue. My Daughter, who is 8, has had an ISS last week, and now this week, has had 2 OSS's. She ran around her classroom, pinched several other students, stuck her tounge out at her teacher, and ripped papers. She has repeatedly disrupted her class, and been very disrespectful to teachers and staff at her school. I've had to go pick her up early, due to tantrums and meltdowns, and she is acting out violently.
Today was the worst though... she accused my husband of molesting her, and then tried to stab herself with a knife. My 9 yr. old held her, and prevented her from getting a knife, and I was able to intervene. I had to hold her until she calmed down. And she has been on suicide watch all night. I had my husband remove all the knives, and he is sleeping in the car.
I don't know who to believe, my husband has never really been alone with any of my kids, and has never givin me any reasons to think he'd ever do anything like that. My Daughter, is my only girl, and I don't want to ignore her, but...I know what a troubled past we have, and she has lied repeatedly, and done some really bad things in the past.
I feel like this is just a way of trying to get rid of my husband, because he's not her dad, and he actually expects her to follow the rules, and disciplines her and her brothers when they break those rules. She's been tested by her school, but I have not yet found out the results. I will be taking her to see a Psychiatrist in the morning, and see if I can get her some help. Her behavior is escallating out of control...could it be something more serious than autism? And how do I know who to trust? I'm alone, and don't know what to do, please help!
UPDATE:
My dd has begun treatment process, still in progress, but she will be receiving therepy and medication at some point. It looks like the therepist is calling in Adjustment disorder, with conduct disorder. The CPS workers are still investigating her allegations, but in the meantime, we all will be continuing to seek help, and obtain services. My children are temporarily not in my care, until all matters can be addressed. I will be getting treatment going for myself next week, and will hopefully get the help I need. There really isn't much else to report at this time, but I will update when I can. I ask for continued prayer for my children, myself, and if possible, my husband. He needs them too, weither he did anything or not, he'll still need any prayers he can get. Thank you.
Quoting Sheila_:I know this is going to sound mean - but it's pretty simple.
Your family is in crisis.
It sounds like it has been for a long time.
It sounds like you are scared about the consequences of actions (and in-actions) as a result of all manner of things.
Saying you aren't a perfect mother but you are trying, that you didn't report the sexual abuse of your child because you weren't sure and that you were under the influence of other people - says a lot to me.
I think you need to suck it up and take care of this now.
You need to get your daughter in front of the right people.
If you have medical insurance - get her to a psychiatric hospital. Today.
If you do not have medical insurance call your county mental health facility and make an appointment. Today.
Your daughter needs more help than you can give her. More help than the school can give her. As her mother, it is your responsibility to see that she gets it. Now.
It is going to get ugly. There are going to be all kinds of investigations and the fallout might not be what you want it to be - but you need to do it anyway.
Just like the treatment for cancer often makes you feel worse than before you were diagnosed - but saves your life - you need to walk through the ugly to save your daughter's future.
What you think and how you feel - really don't matter any more.
Be a MOM and get your daughter help.
Sheila
Megan
This is sad. She sounds totally out of control, and I am by no means blaming you, but she really needs more help than you and her family can give her. The kitten thing is highly disturbing and slightly sociopathic. I think she needs inpatient therapy personally, at least in the immediate future. There she can get tons of help from professionals and they will constantly supervise her to make sure she remains safe. At the very best, she has a need for constant attention (negative or positive) that is unrealistic and cannot be met by you or your family. Sending her to a facility may seem heartless to some, but you are not abandoning her and she will receive constant help... hopefully she can be treated and get to a point that is socially acceptable, and the time that she is away from the home will allow the rest of you time for family counseling and time to heal as a family unit. Obviously I don't know the whole story, but the little backround you have provided makes me believe she is a deeply disturbed individual by no fault of her own. Early intervention (after all, she is only 8 and has a long life ahead of her) can help steer her into a better direction. Good luck, and I really do hope that everything works out in the end!!!
Talk to her pediatrician and seek out a child development/behavioral doctor for a full evaluation. Obviously, something is going on.
Oh man, HUGS straight off the bat.
I have an Autistic child and what your daughter is doing doesn't sound that way to me (although all present a little differently). I'm not going to sit here and say "I think she has XXX" I'm not an expert on them all by any means.
You are doing the right thing. Expect to fill out abou 1-2 hours worth of scales on how she behaves and acts. If there is anything you feel is between numbers OR even if it is a "depends on situation" WRITE THAT DOWN!!! I did not know in the beginning, but they take that into consideration!!!
Therapists work more with the children than the psychiatrists do though. Both can diagnose what issues your child has, but the psychiatrist is more concerned with if there's a need for medication and medication maintaining based upon how they are doing on it.
A therapist will talk with your child and help them talka nd work through the issues WAY MORE than the psychiatrist will.
We've gone to both and have found that medication prescribed and then maintained by pediatrician and her going to see a therapist works out the best- since most insurances won't cover for both psychiatrist AND therapist (although SOME do).
You don't have to take what diagnosis they give you as absolute either- like works of art kids are works in progress and it all depends on how things are RIGHT THEN when they are seen- or what you are remembering when you are telling them things and filling in the scales.
There might be underlining issues that have to be gotten to as well.
My daughter had about 5 different diagnosis before I was HOLD ON HERE and said there HAS to be a simpler reason or diagnosis. Finally other things that I had never though about bringing up- like her screaming and crying when her hair was brushed or not being able to take (at all!!!) any type of alarm near her, that she would only take lukewarm baths and couldn't tolerate anything hot, that she constantly was picking at her fingers and clothes, needed an item (s) to have with her or she couldn't function, that she had a hard time relating to anyone her own age, but could talk to adults just fine...
But as you can see- most of that you would think would just be "quirks", but put them (and the other things) together and BOOM it finally made sense.
Oh and I still didn't take that for an absolute. We had it triple checked by other doctors/therapists as well. There's no doubt what she has.
Now she is in wrap-around and has re-evaluations every 2-6 months (it's part of being there and them making sure that they are fully on top of what is currently going on with her).
I wish you luck and if you need to talk just PM me.
Oh and yes, my daughter gets violent during meltdowns and other times, but never really did that at school. Her anxiety was beyond high there for reasons I can't go into in public forum.
She needs to see a Dr. and also needs counseling right away for all her issues.
Quoting doverainej:I believe she was molested, a long time ago, when she was 4...but that was way before I ever met my Husband. She's tried to do things to her brothers, tried to grope her grandpa the first time she met him, and talks about kissing and making babies as if it's her goal in life to be a teen mom.
When she was 5, she stuffed three of my kittens into the washing machine and turned it on. Listened to them scream, cry, and drown, and then waited to tell me after it was too late to do anything to save them. And that's just one of the many times she did something like that. I used to have to hold her hands away from her face, because she'd scratch her face untill it'd bleed.
There's a long history of trauma, and I know I'm not always the best mom, due to health issues, and my own personal trauma...and I know that's no excuse either, but I have tried to be a better mom despite my short-comings. I take them to church as much as possible, I talk to my kids about everything and anything, I make sure they eat, get plenty of rest, go to school, do their homework, have clothes to wear, and a roof over their heads, and even participate in activites whenever possible.
My husband spends all his time with me, except for when he's at work, and if I step out to walk the dog,or go to the bathroom, my oldest is always right there with him and my daughter. He says that my husband never did anything to any one of them. I trust him, my oldest is very honest, and he looks out for his sister and tries to help her to be good, and do what's right.
Too young for "the talk"????
- doverainej
on Feb. 23, 2012 at 7:01 AM