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had two debates with my dh! *piog

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:43 AM
  • 37 Replies
#1. We just moved to Irving texas. And since we've been here(today is the second sunday) I havent went to church because I havent visited any churches over here by our apartment. So I told dh last night the kids and I were going to visit a church today and he got a lil irritated and said thats not the way youre suppose to do things. You dont just visit every church until you find the right one. And that it was silly that I felt like I needed to be in a church to praise god. Now how else do/did you find your church? We have no friends or family here.

#2. Our kids wake up at 7am here and he wants to make them go back and lay in there beds until he wakes up. But I dont feel like they should have too. Because I am always already awoke just still lying in bed with him. So I just get up, feed them, go to the bathroom, put on outside clothes, take the dogs outside, and then come back in to take a shower and wash the kids after I load the dishwasher. But he said I undermised(sp) him in front of our kids. Cause I said "its ok bay im up." When he tried to tell dd1(3.5 yrs old) to go lay back in her bed. But she was sick yesterday so when I heard her say she was hungry I jumped up lol. But do you think I did undermise him in front of her? Cause if i did I need to apologize because I was wrong.
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by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mom2ljh
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:45 AM
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1. Yes we visited churches until we found one we liked.
2. I don't view that as undermining. I view it as the kid was up, you were awake so you got up. Simple.
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lioness3e
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:03 AM
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I've been visiting churches since I moved. Its the way to do it. What other way is there if you can't experience it and get a feel of the people and what the church is about. It can't be done laying in bed.
As for undermining... he needs to read the definition. Your being a parent and taking care of your children's needs, which is what he needs to be doing. If he wants extra sleep he needs to go to bed early.
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MamaBear2cubs
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:58 AM

How else are you supposed to find a church? When we were looking for a church we went to a few before finding a small intimate one that suited us. I get up with my kids,I don't see the issue with it. Maybe tell the kids to play quietly?

johnnys_mom6605
by Member on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:04 AM
1 mom liked this
1. That's exactly how you find a church. How else would you find one you liked?

2. He needs to realize that as a parent, if your young children wake up, their parent should also wake up. You did the right thing. My son is 6 and when he wakes up, he pops a movie in and watches it. He makes his own cereal for breakfast and doesn't even make a noise. I never know when he wakes up LOL. He's been that way for a year. However, when my dd (1yo) gets up, I'm up. I'm not gonna put her back in her crib to cry so I can go back to sleep. KWIM?
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lovingmommywife
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:17 AM
I agree with everyone else. A church u visit them that's how u find one.
When young kids wake up who can't take care of them self parents wake up (or at least one)
Sounds to me he's trying to run u guys and take control of u. Don't let happen (speak up). My ex was like this and abusive and cheated on me. I dealt with this for 6yrs and lost everything one but my kids and my family.
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KayDziedzic
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:26 AM

1. Like PPs have said, how can you find a church that practices the same beliefs you have if you don't visit them?? I'd be concerned that your husband apparently has a problem with you and the kids attending church.

2. If you guys are in bed after your children are up and one of them were seriously injured (pulled a dresser down on top of themselves, ate something toxic, etc), that would be negligence, and could result in a CPS investigation against you and your husband. If any of your kids are up, an adult needs to be up with them. A 3.5 year old has a 20 minute attention span on a good day, and can't realistically be expected to lay quietly in bed so the parent(s) can sleep in. I hate it when one parent criticizes or contradicts another in front of the kids in an effort to "undermine" them (which is a control thing). This doesn't appear to be what happened. He didn't want to get up with the kids, so you did. That's not "undermining" him, it's being a parent. Your husband expecting a hungry toddler/preschooler to go wait quietly in bed so he could sleep in is ridiculous.

hollydaze1974
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:33 AM
you find your religion where you find your religion. You win that one.
You did not undermine him by getting up to feed a tot.
was he cuddling with you at the time? Could his misplaced anger be because he wanted to lay with you ( or more)?
You can feed and find a show for the kids and go back to the bedroom...but you did not undermine him. Your tot said "I'm hungry" you fixed that...I mean it was SEVEN not FIVE!
Hate it for him, but you do what you need to spiritually and what you are supposed to do for your children....they are not able to fix there own breakfast yet, ergo that falls to a parent
TeddiChi
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 11:04 AM
We also searched for a church that preached truth, by visiting several. In the end God lead us through a miraculous way to our church we've been a part of now for almost 10 years. When you search earnestly, He'll guide you where you need to go.

2, I don't think u undermined him, when my children are hungry, there's no way they'll lie back down! And why should they? Kids tend to rise earlier than most adults anyway, so to make her go back to bed just because he wants to sleep in, is torture! My DD gets up very early, as does my DS2. Then he'll make her a snack, and she eats it in my room. After that she'll either crawl into bed with me, or she'll look through her storybooks while I try to thaw, hehe. Kids are kids, yes they have to play by our rules, but simply put, those rules must not infringe on their rights either. Food is one of those necessities that have to receive our attention!
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tanya_marieh
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 11:09 AM

I agree with every one else here.

hopealways4019
by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2012 at 12:11 PM
I'm single now, my son was up last night stomach hurting, thank goodness his dad don't live with us anymore. He would have made him lay back down! I wouldn't have been allowed to say nothing
Sometimes So, treat you like a child
I'm happy I'm single, I need a man who will compromised, not think he king of the house
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