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Feel like crying :-( should I be upset?

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My bf is going to a concert next Tuesday night and I'm unable to go because I have my kids that day. Well he has sort of flirted with this Russian woman we know for a while but said he doesn't like her. Anyways he just text me this...I don't.know.anyone else to ask to go to the concert. If we drive seperate and I text you a lot would you be furious if I asked ahla if she wanted to go to that concert? She.probably wont go but I don't have anyone left to ask. But if will cause you much stress I wont even bring it back up. I don't have anything for her I just think her take on an American rock concert.would be funny. I don't want you mad for me asking and if you say no i totally am OK with it. I don't want any problems with us. It wouldn't be a date at all. Hate to ask I know your gonna be mad...but that bothers the shit out of me. We live together and are expecting a baby in August. Should I be upset? My stomach dropped when he sent that text. He has her phone number and everything already.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 2:43 PM
Replies (21-30):
Bmat
by Barb on Apr. 3, 2012 at 4:13 PM
2 moms liked this

In this case- wanting to get together with an old friend for coffee- I'd have said OK- invite her here and we'll both visit with her. But to accompany him to a concert- not a good idea.

Quoting PortiaRose:

Yes. My man did this to me with an old friend... I feel dumb to this day... just having coffee my ass.


PortiaRose
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 4:15 PM
Honey, he is creating a diversion. When you started pushing and poking, he creates a bigger scene by threatening to leave you so you will forget about the situation and how u feel about it.

Omg. Its my SO all over again... *rocks back and forth*


Quoting Rjohnson6708:

Yep I blew it. Last time.I.will ever be up front. I tried to be honest and tell you that i don't have any feelings but you do.t believe me.so now you are going to your mom's and leaving me home alone. I knew it was a.bad idea. I.will have my cloths and things moved out by the time you get home. You don't trust me or believe me even when I am being completely honest. Sorry I hurt you I will leave my furniture there till you decide.what you want to do.... This is his reaction to me saying I figured he had feelings for her.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
lioness3e
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 4:18 PM
2 moms liked this

This was my thought, exactly! Been there before.

Quoting erinsmom1964:


Quoting Rjohnson6708:

Yep I blew it. Last time.I.will ever be up front. I tried to be honest and tell you that i don't have any feelings but you do.t believe me.so now you are going to your mom's and leaving me home alone. I knew it was a.bad idea. I.will have my cloths and things moved out by the time you get home. You don't trust me or believe me even when I am being completely honest. Sorry I hurt you I will leave my furniture there till you decide.what you want to do.... This is his reaction to me saying I figured he had feelings for her.

RED FLAG RED FLAG......overly defensive and trying to blame YOU and threatening to leave you so YOU end up feeling bad...BULLSHIT hes full of it


-PB
by Gold Member on Apr. 3, 2012 at 4:20 PM

 I find it highly inappropriate that he had the nerve to ask.  I would tell him to go ahead and go to the concert with her.  Then I would pack up his belongings, leave them on the front porch for him and change the locks. ;-)

divinedimension
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 4:22 PM
He is really acting immature. It is totally inappropriate.
Rjohnson6708
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 4:27 PM
I didn't think it was fragile at all. But after this today I'm just not sure. I always fall for the wrong guys. Wanna know the worst part? He's 41 and acting like any other 20 year old guy. I told him if he has feelings for her then to just go for it. I'm over assholes. My ex was an asshole and I'm sick of them. I will just stay single.
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DixieL
by Member on Apr. 3, 2012 at 4:31 PM

He say's he doesn't want to upset you and if you say no he won't go. Just say NO!!!!!!!!!!!

LovingmyLeah
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 4:40 PM

IMO yes you have every right to be upset. shes flirted once... whose to say she wont step up her game?? men are weak at telling woman no. thats how marriage starts lol

Rjohnson6708
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 4:44 PM
1 mom liked this

LOL!!! idk i guess i am giving up. Spent 4 years married to my ex. He never cheated as far as i know but he wouldn't say he loved me, said i talk to him too much, never wanted to do anything or go anywhere with me, dragged me through the house naked cause he thought it was hillarious and he was "just kidding", called me bitch and hoe along with other names. Put up with that and depression and more for 4 years and i sort of snapped. I dont want to go through that shit again. Me and my bf have been together for a year, i am gonna just let him go to the concert and go away from my life.

Quoting LovingmyLelah:

IMO yes you have every right to be upset. shes flirted once... whose to say she wont step up her game?? men are weak at telling woman no. thats how marriage starts lol



LovingmyLeah
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 4:52 PM

honestly just listen to your gut and your heart...

im sure both are telling you this aint right

i would be honest and talk to him (and not in a text like physically talk) if he can understand your feeling there wont be an issue i would think

Quoting Rjohnson6708:

LOL!!! idk i guess i am giving up. Spent 4 years married to my ex. He never cheated as far as i know but he wouldn't say he loved me, said i talk to him too much, never wanted to do anything or go anywhere with me, dragged me through the house naked cause he thought it was hillarious and he was "just kidding", called me bitch and hoe along with other names. Put up with that and depression and more for 4 years and i sort of snapped. I dont want to go through that shit again. Me and my bf have been together for a year, i am gonna just let him go to the concert and go away from my life.

Quoting LovingmyLelah:

IMO yes you have every right to be upset. shes flirted once... whose to say she wont step up her game?? men are weak at telling woman no. thats how marriage starts lol




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