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Pregnant again; sad and scared

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:53 AM
  • 14 Replies

This will be my fourth child - following 3 beautiful daughters. (12, 8 and 6) My husband is happy and excited but I find myself really down about it and kind of scared as well. Only my youngest child is my husband's so this will be his second biological child, but he is an absolutely wonderful man and treats all three children with the same love and care. 

But I find myself not at all excited. I'm pro-life. I'm not bible-banging and preachy though. I'm generally open-minded and accepting but there is no room for discussion about abortion when it comes to any of my own pregnancies. So I know I'm keeping the baby, it's a given. But I wish so much that I was not pregnant. With all three other pregnancies, I found a reason to be hopeful and I loved the baby even though I might have been nervous. I just haven't been able to do that now. 

Granted, I only found out a few days ago through 2 separate home tests (haven't been to the doctor yet but I am working on it) so I may have time to get used to the idea of being a mommy all over again. I don't know. Right now, I feel like crying every time I think about it and I'm  trying like mad to keep my dispair from my husband's eyes. 

He knows I'm afraid. I talked to him about that aspect because right now I'm a full-time student and he's the only one that works. Finances are tight (we are low-income) and our family of five is crammed into an up-stairs 2 bedroom apartment that barely cuts it now and certainly will not once this baby comes in December or January. (guestimate) 

Literally, my very last post on cafe mom before now was about why I was becoming sure that I did not want any more children because of our finances and how crazy/busy our 3 girls keep us already and trying to figure out how to break that to my awesome husband.

I don't know what to do now. It's been 6 years since my last baby was a baby and I'm kind of numb over the whole issue. I'm rusty over what I need to do and when... Any advice is helpful - especially advice with how to handle these negative feelings.

Thank you all, in advance.

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:01 PM
I wasn't excited when I found out I was having baby number 3. However, i was happy and excited in no time. I think it's totally normal to worry about things that's just natural. Everything will be fine and just remember a newborn baby doesn't take up much room. So if your 2 bedroom is tight it will hold a new baby. Start setting goals and timelines and just be frugal. Clip coupons etc. it will be fine.
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:01 PM
by Silver Member on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:07 PM
Congrats! When we found out we were having our fourth I was actually upset because I had alot of goals for the next few years and none involved another baby. It took me until 20 weeks to feel excited about the baby. I was very worried about finances and the size if our home. Its just fine though, you get creative and make stuff work. I am so glad we have our son.
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by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:36 PM

I understand. I'm in college, I just went on maternity leave at the end of last week and i'm 38 weeks pregnant. My daughters father, if u can call him that, left me when i was 4 weeks and told me to get an abortion. i refused. I just can't bare the thought of all of that. it's not easy being in school, working, and being pregnant, i'm not gonna lie. but it is doable. you can handle it, you just have to have faith in yourself. since you already have kids, maybe try throwing  a "diaper party", that may help. good luck. stay strong.

by Diamond Member on Apr. 19, 2012 at 2:15 PM

It's totally understandable to be afraid and all that. I mean, it seems like quite a shock. One minute you're thinking "how to tell hubby we're done" and the next "well shit, I'm pregnant". I can imagine how that must be. Add in the pregnancy hormones and it makes sense you'd be wanting to cry.

Give yourself some time to get used to it, get over the shock of it. You'll find reasons to be happy :-)

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 2:21 PM
It will be ok. I was I a 2 bedroom apartment with hubby my grandma my cousin who she has custody of and my son who was 5 months old when I found out I was pregnant with my second. All four of us shared a bedroom for 2 years
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by Bronze Member on Apr. 19, 2012 at 5:54 PM

congrats! i was like that with my middle child, i wasnt happy at first.. you will manage. we have a small place, and if we had another child now my 3 boys would just share a room, and baby would sleep with us, and wewould look for a new place as soon as our lease was up!

 if your worried about finiances there are TONS fo ways to sae money!!! my newest ds is 4 months, and ie only spent $150 so far!!!! and all that wasnt even nessicary!!!

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 5:59 PM

My little girl was a accented and I cried for weeks when I found out. As soon as I saw that ultra sound I felt completely better and was so excited. I'm sorry you feel this way now and I hope that feeling doesn't stick around, good luck! 


by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 6:12 PM
I had muc h of the same feelings when I found out that I was preggo with my second. I was sentenced to bed rest for the last five months of my first pregnancy and finding out I was gonna have another struck fear in me. I had mixed feelings on all fronts; financially, emotionally, physically, mentally,etc. I cried for weeks. BUT as time progressed I had time to get used to the idea that we were gonna have another one. When we are put in the most undesireable of situations we adapt and adjust and we learn to make things work. Now, I couldn't imagine life without my DD. What your feeling i s valid but in due time things will work themselves out :-)
by Bronze Member on Apr. 19, 2012 at 8:11 PM

 You sound a little like I did! My kids were 12, 8 and 6 too when I found out I was pregnant again! We were also low income and I worried about how I was going to work and take care of a baby! Oh and I was so shocked I was pregnant bc my husband was fixed! It literally took me 6mths to believe I was! I went through all the emtotions you are now! She is now 2yo and everything is just fine! You will makeit! It will all work out and you will love this little baby so much and look back and wonder why you ever worried about it! Good luck relax and enjoy it!

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