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I'm pregnant and this is not a happy time :(

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 9:52 PM
  • 9 Replies

Since I'm now 16 weeks along, I have to face the fact that, I am pregnant. This is a bad time right now. I do value the gift of life so one option is completely out. Currently, my husband has been out of work for the past year. He also found out he was a diabetic, with no insurance. I am the only one working at this time. I was recently hired in at my job as a medical assistant making a decent wage. The problem is, my husband is constantly blaming me for this mistake, I do not get my benefits until October 9 (5 days after my due date) so we have to cover doctor appointments out of pocket for him. I contacted HR and they said that it would be up to the manager about my position? Can I get fired for this? I haven't really announced this to anyone, so I know I will have angry family members and friends as well. I currently have a 5 and 2 year old girls right now, and I'm really nervous about being the bread winner that will need 6 weeks off. Also, with every pregnancy I can picture having another child with me, but this time, I can't.

So pretty much the questions are

Will I get fired?

How do I tell people?

Should I consider adoption (because it's seriously ran through my head)

What do I do about the money problem, especially in October?

When should I tell my boss?

How do I bear the unplesant comments from people I know? Like my husband...

Any advice is appreciated.

 

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 9:52 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Bmat
by Barb on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:07 PM

I am awfully sorry that your husband isn't being supportive. It takes two to make a baby after all. You may be experiencing his stress about his health and lack of job.  He needs to get a job, any job, to get back into the job market. It would be good for his self-esteem and bring in a few dollars.  I don't know if you can be fired for maternity. As far as telling people,  be prepared to close your ears to negative comments.  To your family, if they express dismay, just say the timing isn't the greatest but this is a little blessing that you are carrying.  If you truly think that adoption might be a choice, then start checking with agencies.  Tell your boss when you start to show.  Calmly tell your husband that you need his emotional support now, that the baby is both yours and his and that making mean comments isn't helping anything. Gently (keep your voice calm) tell him that getting a job would help a lot. Unless he is the house-husband and caring for the home and children.  And even then a part time job might be helpful.  Good luck, and ((hugs))

Bellavy
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:18 PM
you should not be fired just.bc ur pregnant. if they fired u u should sue.the crap out of them. Its illegal to fired a pregnant woman. so ur safe at ur job. you should not consider adoption bc of ur financial issue, i bet u will regret it big time if u give.up ur child for adoption, ur older kid can help with things around the house and baby. talk to ur ob regarding ur insurance situation u should not be paying for anything out of ur pocket. ask about wic program. dont worries about how ur family menber will feel about this focuse on urself and take good care of ur unborn child take prenatel to ensure the health of ur baby. babies r the most wonderful thing its a gift from above. my heartache when hear about kids given up for adoption bc of the prarents finances.think about the 3rd world countries how do they do it. dont worry everything will fall.together things happend for a reason.
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Bellavy
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:20 PM
you should not be fired just.bc ur pregnant. if they fired u u should sue.the crap out of them. Its illegal to fired a pregnant woman. so ur safe at ur job. you should not consider adoption bc of ur financial issue, i bet u will regret it big time if u give.up ur child for adoption, ur older kid can help with things around the house and baby. talk to ur ob regarding ur insurance situation u should not be paying for anything out of ur pocket. ask about wic program. dont worries about how ur family menber will feel about this focuse on urself and take good care of ur unborn child take prenatel to ensure the health of ur baby. babies r the most wonderful thing its a gift from above. my heartache when hear about kids given up for adoption bc of the prarents finances.think about the 3rd world countries how do they do it. dont worry everything will fall.together things happend for a reason.
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snowangel1979
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:24 PM
#1 hopefully not, it is supposed to be illegal but just do your best and show them you are an asset. They have a choose of waiting for you or have to go threw the prosses of hiring and to retrain someone. I know every doctor does things just a little different.

#2 no clue LOL. I was never good at telling people too.

#3 Don't make something that is a permanent decision based on temporary problems.

#4 dh needs to be looking for a job, it a ways away so hopefully he'll find something.

#5 probably soon, she's going to be wondering and It's better to just be up front.

#6 if dh doesn't understand how babies are made he needs to go back to biology class. He's just as much at fault.

Good luck.
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xo.MommyW.xo
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:26 PM
1 apply for medicaid

2 he needs to get off his ass and get a job

3 you cant be fired for the pregnancy but they can let you go for anything elsr
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chazzamatazz
by Member on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:27 PM

Have you looked into getting public assistance? I don't know what my family would do without food stamps and medical assistance. Hopefully you can get some help through this. :(

xo.MommyW.xo
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:28 PM
It is NOT illegal to fire a pregnant woman. Who told you that garbage? It is illegal to fire them because of the pregnancy but they can fire you for other reasons

Quoting Bellavy:

you should not be fired just.bc ur pregnant. if they fired u u should sue.the crap out of them. Its illegal to fired a pregnant woman. so ur safe at ur job. you should not consider adoption bc of ur financial issue, i bet u will regret it big time if u give.up ur child for adoption, ur older kid can help with things around the house and baby. talk to ur ob regarding ur insurance situation u should not be paying for anything out of ur pocket. ask about wic program. dont worries about how ur family menber will feel about this focuse on urself and take good care of ur unborn child take prenatel to ensure the health of ur baby. babies r the most wonderful thing its a gift from above. my heartache when hear about kids given up for adoption bc of the prarents finances.think about the 3rd world countries how do they do it. dont worry everything will fall.together things happend for a reason.
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Mommyof2114
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:40 PM
You need to see if you can get pregnancy medical through your state. Your husband needs to try to find work and if he can't work due to health then see if he can get financial help because of his health. If you are only thinking about adoption because of this current situation then don't do it. If you don't want anymore kids and its not just because of money etc. then look into adoption and see what's best your family. Good luck it will be ok
janel09
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2012 at 12:05 AM

Thanks for all of the thoughts. I did tell my manager last week. She told her manager and some of the doctors. They are excited that I will be bringing a new patient to the clinic. She also told me that she will help me with the paperwork when the time comes. At work, since you can see you own medical record, I showed them the 6 week ultrasound on the system. I don't know what I will do for money yet in October, but short term disabiliy may be an option for me. I really haven't had any unplesant comments, past my husband, yet. I do have to deal with the in-laws on Saturday and his best friend Sunday. It's been pretty easy to ignore him (husband). Also, tomorrow, I will bring cupcakes to work and a co-worker and I will decorate them with the color of the gender for the employee meeting. So yay!

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