A good friend of mine has been dating a nice guy for close to a year now. She has met his family once. While at thier house , no one talked to her ; his sisters, their husbands and his father were very cold towards her.
She tried her best to be engaging and friendly but was received with indiference.
Now, I am having a get together. She wants to invite the guy's sisters ( the ones who were so cold to her ), you know, to try to make friends and such . I kind of dont want to. I feel that if they can be rude to her , while she is such a nice person, I have the right to not want to hang with them.
However, she really loves this dude and wants to be in good terms with his family.
I was in that situation before, I feel that if someone does not like you , there is not much you can do about it . Still, I am not her .
So now ,what do I do? Do I support her and invite them to my party or do I tell her she's on her own.
I say give them ONE more chance. Maybe they were fighting amongst themselves or something that day.. who knows.. Or didn't realize they were being cold to them. This will also give the opportunity to see if they even show up. If things go awry or they don't show, then no 3rd chances.
Also, you guys could ask them why they were cold to her.. besides, if they show and they're nasty, YOU can give them a piece of your mind and you'll know it was no mistake.
Thank you ladies.
I do want to support her. It will be a small affair.
The thing that bothers me is that is not only the party at their place, they are not even her friends on facebook. Not a comment, not a like, nothing.
Maybe I am reading a lot into this but this woman has been my friend for close to 7 years. She is a nice person, a little mousy but just very lovely. It has been 10 months of dating, she gets along great with his friends and so do I. Still, I do have the distinct feeling that the family except the mom are snubbing her.
Maybe I am a bit over protective of her. I mean thanksgiving came and went , christmas, they had parties since then and she was not invited. He says we are overthinking this.
That is why I am a bit reticent to invite them.
But hey , as one of the ladies puts it one more chance is all that they get.
Will this put you, as the hostess, in a position where you feel you need to entertain these new guests and interact with them? Plus, will they know anyone besides your friend? Because if not, she will have to pretty much hang out with them the whole time so they not feel left out. If she does go talk with someone else and leave them on their own, this could add fuel to their not liking her...giving them more of an excuse for their impolite behavior.
Things to consider.
If it were me and it was my very best friend, I would have a hard time telling her no. I would, however, ask her if she felt I was supposed to entertain them or make sure to go out of my way to have them feel super welcome. I would say hi, be polite, and chat a bit. However, they aren't my friends and I have other guests. Not to be rude, but I just wouldn't want to add that to my to do list when I am hosting a get together. I think as a host, you are very busy but do try to mingle and get around to chatting with everyone for at least a few minutes. I couldn't dedicate my time solely to them.
Having said that, if my only requirement is to invite them and politely chat on occasion, I don't think I would mind.
Long answer....sorry.
Quoting BaileynMe:
Mama it's your party; if you don't want them there, don't invite them. Maybe suggest a get together with them another time, for coffee or something. That way you can go and support your friend without potentially ruining a party you've worked hard on.
I know but she's my friend and I know she'd bite the bullet and do it for me .
She's cheating on him
- wechee
on Apr. 22, 2012 at 8:50 AM