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2months and having dreams (nothing to do with baby but really needing help)

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:38 AM
  • 4 Replies

My unborn child's dad and I have been separated (never married, but we did live together) for 2months now. I have just started having dreams about him,, every other night or every few nights.. I don't think about him that often. I love him very very much, we were together for 2yrs and I called the relationship off because of personal contact issues (not spending enough time together even though we lived under the same roof). He was either working (5pm to midnight), playing the video game (midnight to 4am), sleeping (430am to noon) or spending time with his friends any chance he had. Yea I always stayed up til he got home from work to spend time with him but it rarely ever happened...ANYWAYS..

We have been apart for two months and these weird dreams just started about a couple wks to a month ago. The dream starts out as us not being anywhere near eachother,, then when we are finally in the same room/area as eachother, we're argueing over something that shouldnt even matter

-- I had this dream a couple nights ago:: My ex's sister was showing me her new place and he was there. Him and I walked to this school church building nearby and we were talking about getting back into school. He said "Well when we stop smoking...." I had cut him off saying "..wait, you smoke??? When did this start? That's one of the many things I love about you is you're not like everyone else. You don't drink or party. You don't smoke! and you are so freakin real you don't have to do something to be 'cool' what the hell happened??" He said it wasnt my concern and that I smoke to so it shouldn't matter. I told him that I had quit last week (all honesty, i don't smoke). I stormed off from him walking away from building and away from his sister's. He had followed and grabbed my arm saying "I was stressed over you leaving k I know I shouldn't have started and I will quit right now. I didnt think you even cared about me anymore"..We argued for a while and then the next thing we were in the backseat of this car (had a wide seat) laying down and holding eachother close and tight. kissing and hugging talking about why we broke up and rather we'd get back together or not..I woke up right then. I usually always wake up right after we cuddle. Its weird

Its extremely weird. My ex and I stopped talking before these dreams started and the last thing he asked me was "Why do we keep coming back to each other? Why can't we just get over eachother?" I keep telling him that I don't know his reason but, I can't get over him cause I love him so much. He'll ask why and I can write 20pgs why, I can text him why or email him why,, but I can't tell him in person cause I get so nervous and think that he'll just think im being fruity or stupid.

Anyways I just thought with him asking 'why can't we move on from eachother' then having these weird dreams of us arguing..then cuddling that the two things might have something to do with each other but I just can't figure it out why I am having these dreams.. Should him and I be together? If we did get back together is it always going to be stressful in the beginning and loving at the end? I don't know what to think of this but the dreams are starting to happen every other night now..

Mommy2aBeautifulAngelBoy

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:38 AM
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Replies (1-4):
elzmnsf
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:02 AM
I don't know what you should do, but you should be aware that crazy ass dreams are a big part of pregnancy! I had the most random dreams when pg. with my second I was having sex dreams about all kinds of folks ( dh still to this day cracks up and teases me about them!) I had one about dog the bounty hunter a few times!! I say maybe try and be friends and wait for the pregnancy hormones and crazies to go, see where things lead, and then make a decision when you have your full faculties about you!
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Kiwismommy19
by Diamond Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:06 AM

Do you think about him a lot when you're awake? I've noticed any weird dreams I have at night are usually somewhat about things I have on my mind (either actively thinking about or just kind of tucked away in the back of my mind) during the day. I've heard it's your brain's way of sort of going through and dumping the thoughts so you can start fresh the next day.

mommyrebecca
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 5:07 AM


Quoting Kiwismommy19:

Do you think about him a lot when you're awake? I've noticed any weird dreams I have at night are usually somewhat about things I have on my mind (either actively thinking about or just kind of tucked away in the back of my mind) during the day. I've heard it's your brain's way of sort of going through and dumping the thoughts so you can start fresh the next day.


The only time I really think about him is when I think "im not letting you ruin my life. I am not going to sit around thinking about you, wanting to talk to you, miss you, cry over you and let you be the only thing my life revolves around". When I think like that is usually the only thing I think about him during the day,, but during the night when I am trying to sleep (i just noticed  ((about an hour ago after laying in bed for a couple hrs)) that I do this every night) I start missing his touch. I miss him holding me, or kissing my shoulder right before he turns the other way to go to sleep, or when he kisses my cheek before he leaves for work or to go hang with his friends or whatever in the morning (he thought I was sleeping but am a light sleeper,, he moves and i wake up) .....but I did notice that I do start missing him just before I go to sleep. ):): sucks cause I am trying so hard to just forget him. 

Kiwismommy19
by Diamond Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 5:42 AM

I've been there, I know exactly what you're saying. What helped me was some moms here, and making a consious effort to focus on the positive. If you look hard enough, good can be found in just about any situation. Example, you miss his touch, but think of how much you missed it when he was going out of his way to not be there? You have to find something to move your thoughts to.

My stbx husband left around 6 weeks ago. The first two weeks were total hell. He was the same way for a couple months before he left. Gone who knows where hours on end both physically and mentally. When he was physically here, his mind was elsewhere, just shut off from everything here. It's a very painful way to live. One night when our girl was with him I drank a LOT, woke up the next morning and felt fine, not hungover or anything. I realized something had to give, it was not healthy to have built up such a tolerance to alcohol in so short a time (i was drinking every night Kyra wasn't home). I started making an effort to find the good, to find something positive to focus my attention on whenever the bad feelings crept up. I made myself smile, laugh, carry on with my life. After a few days of this, it started requiring less and less effort on my part. Now, I can honestly say I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I too had the dreams at first, and they sucked so bad. Try not to over anylize them, it'll just drive you crazy.

If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me. I'm on here daily, and understand what you're going through.

Quoting mommyrebecca:


Quoting Kiwismommy19:

Do you think about him a lot when you're awake? I've noticed any weird dreams I have at night are usually somewhat about things I have on my mind (either actively thinking about or just kind of tucked away in the back of my mind) during the day. I've heard it's your brain's way of sort of going through and dumping the thoughts so you can start fresh the next day.


The only time I really think about him is when I think "im not letting you ruin my life. I am not going to sit around thinking about you, wanting to talk to you, miss you, cry over you and let you be the only thing my life revolves around". When I think like that is usually the only thing I think about him during the day,, but during the night when I am trying to sleep (i just noticed  ((about an hour ago after laying in bed for a couple hrs)) that I do this every night) I start missing his touch. I miss him holding me, or kissing my shoulder right before he turns the other way to go to sleep, or when he kisses my cheek before he leaves for work or to go hang with his friends or whatever in the morning (he thought I was sleeping but am a light sleeper,, he moves and i wake up) .....but I did notice that I do start missing him just before I go to sleep. ):): sucks cause I am trying so hard to just forget him. 


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