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12 going on 16

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:45 AM
  • 8 Replies

My daughter is 12 yrs old and sometimes has the mouth of a 16 yr old on her. i know she is probably getting ready for her changes and the hormones are starting to get jumbled but she has been very mouthy , not wanting to do her chores, I have had some health issues and haven't been able to do much and on light duty at work right now. shes loosing her closthes and giving me a hard time with bathing as well and i brought her up different than that. i'm frustrated and at my witts end with her. I could use some advice right now, i don"t know where to turn.

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:45 AM
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Replies (1-8):
momcat437
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:10 AM

 Been there, done that--with six kids--so I know how tough it can be!  First of all, it doesn't do any good to yell, it only makes things worse--and I know how hard it is not to totally lose it.  You have to stand firm and let her know that she's not the boss, you are.  And it's especially important for you to be CONSISTENT!  Don't say no today and yes tomorrow.  I don't know if you're a "religious" person but my family and I are very Christian and we find that the best "instruction manual" for families is the Bible.  Check out, if you can, the book of Ephesians--good advice there.  Anyway, lots of patience, lots of firmness, and always let her know you love her, just not her behavior.  I'm sure there's more, and if I think of anything else, I'll let you know!  Remember that you're not the only parent dealing with this and they'll be lots after you!  God bless!

**Awesome Rock Diva**

LancesMom
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:24 AM

I agree consistency is so important! Good luck!

081499
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:34 AM
1 mom liked this

We've been dealing with the attitude and hormones and such with our 11 year old DD.  Fun.  :P

I've learned, as momcat said, yelling doesn't do any good.  What's worked best for us is to have very clear expectations and concequences.  Literally, they're written out on a poster on our wall, so there's no misunderstandings or forgetfullness.  :)  We keep things simple... and we show her the same respect we expect her to show us.  We ALL talk nicely to eachother (so as to not single her out and make her feel ganged up on).  We ALL clean up after ourselves.  We ALL help out when asked or told to.  For concequences, we make them as directly related to the offence as possible.  If she disobeys us by continuing to play on her Nintendo DS or phone after being told to put it away, it's taken away for the rest of the day.  That sort of thing.  Consistancy and communication!!!  Also, I've found with DD that if I talk to her and explain my point of view and why I expect certain things, she's more prone to understand.  It's not just - because I said so.  It's, listen, I need you to empty the trashes now so that we can go do fun stuff later.  Logic and explainations work for her.  Be calm.  Don't cater to her, but definitely communicate and talk.  :)

alexis_06
by AnnaLisa on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:48 AM

sounds like my daughter...except shes only 7.....lol

being consistent is key tho...she seems to do alot better if she knows what needs to be done, and what will happen if she doesnt do it...ya gotta give a lil, to get a lil in return! and shes beginning to understand that. 

itsblissmas
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 1:20 PM

I am not in your situation but

hugs and good luck

 

babs35
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:17 PM

thank you so much for the advice and I od believe in god just sometimes feel like i'm loosing faith. I have been a single mother for a long time and Its not easy trying to do everything on your won and being the mother and father, I feel i have taken on more the father role and feel i'm loosing my mothery side. I'm sure that must be hard as well . thank you again momcat

babs35
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:21 PM

Thank you all for your advice it really does help and hearing some of your stories as well is a big help to me i don't feel so alone here. I appreciate it and hope maybe i can give some advice back or share some good times

bamababe1975
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:45 PM
1 mom liked this

 I have an 11yo and a 12yo and get that attitude from the both of them at times, but as long as I'm consistent with my rules and the consequences for breaking them, we muddle through fine. I think if you do that, it'll get better.


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