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PIOG, Do I go to the funeral? A young woman I know died.

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:24 PM
  • 19 Replies

She was 18 years old, and died unexpectedly in her sleep. We went to school together, shared classes, though we weren't close. The visitation is tomorrow, and I was thinking of going, though I'm not sure. I want to pay my respects, but I don't know what the ettiquette is in these situations. What do I do? Should I go? Should I say anything to the others if I do? I don't know her family at all, I wouldn't even know who they are. If I do go, should I go to the visitation or funeral?

The first rock thrown again,
Welcome to Hell, Little Saint

Mother Gaia in slaughter,
Welcome to Paradise, Soldier

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
peanutsmommy1
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:25 PM
I would go to the visitation and pay my respects
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JuliFox
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:32 PM

If you want to go and pay your respects, by all means, go.  If you have a happy memory that you can share, do.  At times like this, the smallest gestures mean a lot to those left behind.

balagan_imma
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:32 PM

Go and pay your respects. Tell the family that you are very sorry for their loss and that you were glad that she was in your life, even if just for a short time.

In my culture we also say "may her memory be a blessing."

Bmat
by Barb on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:16 PM

Yes, go. When in doubt, go.  The ettiquette is you go in and sign your name, then you shake the hands or hug those who are in the receiving line and introduce yourself. You can go pay your respects at the coffin if there is one.

As far as not knowing who is the family, they will be obvious. If nothing else watch whom others go up to. The visitation is enough. If you will mourn the lady then go to the funeral, too, it will help you deal with your grief.

LuLuRex
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:17 PM

I would go to pay my respects.


Bmat
by Barb on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:17 PM

I agree, if you have a memory that you can share, it will be helpful. And if you want to send a sympathy card, it is always nice to write a little there on how you knew the person and what their presence meant in your life.

Quoting JuliFox:

If you want to go and pay your respects, by all means, go.  If you have a happy memory that you can share, do.  At times like this, the smallest gestures mean a lot to those left behind.


Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:04 PM



Quoting peanutsmommy1:

I would go to the visitation and pay my respects

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mamaeagle216
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:12 PM
That saying is beautiful and so true.
I would go if you feel like you should. I think it would vary from person to person. Do what you feel. If you see someone introduce yourself as a friend.


Quoting balagan_imma:

Go and pay your respects. Tell the family that you are very sorry for their loss and that you were glad that she was in your life, even if just for a short time.

In my culture we also say "may her memory be a blessing."


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bmw29
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:15 PM
I would absolutely go to the visitation. Her family will most likely have a receiving line.
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katzmeow726
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:16 PM

I would...sometimes it can really help a family of those that die young to know how many people they touched, even in their short lives.

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