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Paternity question need advise

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:31 PM
  • 13 Replies

I have been raising my daughter alone since the day she was born. Her father left me when i found out i was pregnant. I have been trying to locate him for 4 years. I moved about 4 months ago and my new city required me to let the state look for my dds father to get my food stamps that we would starve without. They found him back in feb and i have court May 4th. I am so nervous to go against him. I havent seen him since i was 15 and im 23 now. I was wondering if anybody could tell me whats gonna happen at court cuz ive never been to a paternity court. Any suggestions or advise would be greatly appreciated and thanx so much.

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:47 PM

Is it paternity court or just family court or regular court to talk about supporting a child he helped bring into the world.  I am not sure what will happen since you havent seen him in a really long time.

dirby1988
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:56 PM

I'm not sure what kind of court. I says RE:paternity for dds name. Not sure exactly what it means but they told me not to bring dd with me to court.

xo.MommyW.xo
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:58 PM
Yea never bring the kid to court. They are going to say do you want a dna test blah blah blah do you want toclaim her. If he wants a test that gets schduled and u go back in a few weeks if he is the dad the judge will lay out cs
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dirby1988
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:09 PM

Is there a way to take away his rights at this court appt. ? Hes never seen her or tried and he doesnt know anything about her. He left when i was 4 weeks pregnant and i prefer he stay away. Im doing fine without him and i dont need his help or money.

terpmama
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:13 PM
If your starving without aid then you aren't doing fine without him and you do need his money


Quoting dirby1988:

Is there a way to take away his rights at this court appt. ? Hes never seen her or tried and he doesnt know anything about her. He left when i was 4 weeks pregnant and i prefer he stay away. Im doing fine without him and i dont need his help or money.


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SexyTeacher
by Gold Member on Apr. 26, 2012 at 12:07 AM
1 mom liked this

IF he shows up and IF he wants a test and IF he is her father then he will have rights. He will have to pay support but he also will get visitation. It would be supervised to begin with since they don't know each other.

alexis_06
by AnnaLisa on Apr. 26, 2012 at 3:51 AM

 exactly!!

Quoting SexyTeacher:

IF he shows up and IF he wants a test and IF he is her father then he will have rights. He will have to pay support but he also will get visitation. It would be supervised to begin with since they don't know each other.

 my daughters dad left me when i was pregnant to..he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby.  when dd was 3 we ended up in court, i thougt there was no way in hell the judge would grant him anything...boy was i wrong!!! if it had been up to the judge MY daughter woulda spent 5 days with me, 5 days with him over and over and over for the rest of her life! thank god that didnt happen!  but he did get granted joint custody and had access to her 3 weekends outta 5..so for weekends it went him, me, him, him, me...and he was granted half of the stat holidays.   it frickin SUCKED!  that happened for about a year and then decided that it was just "too much" so he went down to every other weekend.........then every 2 weekends....then exactly 2 years ago he decided he was totally done!!  that was right before he 6th birthday..shes gonna be 8 on sunday!  having him be "involved" for those 3yrs has totally screwed up my kid!  breaks my heart.  we were soooo much better off without him.  it was definetley not worth the $170/month i get in child support.  hope your situation turns out better!!  if ya ever need to talk, feel free to pm me!  :)

mamamiajk
by Platinum Member on Apr. 26, 2012 at 9:58 AM

That is scary. Relax....if you can't afford a lawyer the state will step in and represent you on your behalf. Good Luck

dirby1988
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 10:41 PM

Hes in Georgia and im in Indiana. Does that affect the judges decision for visitation? if we live in different states? And ty to all the ladies that already replied it is really scarey and i ty for your support.

MamaJess9
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 10:50 PM
I don't know what state you're in, but it should NOT happen that way, and most of the time it doesn't.

If you told him you were pregnant before he left, and he didn't attempt to see or support the child for at least two years you should be able to have it declared abandonment and have his rights terminated. My best friend went through the same thing a few years ago. Her and her dd's father broke up while she was pregnant, he never had any contact with them, until when she was 5 out of the blue he had my friend served with papers wanting visitation. The first lawyer she talked to said she was screwed if he was the bio father, but then she found an awesome lawyer who told her about abandonment and that's exactly what they did.

There is just no excuse for a father who knows he has a child to wait years to try and be a part of that child's life. I can't imagine many judges would disagree with that.


Quoting alexis_06:

 exactly!!


Quoting SexyTeacher:


IF he shows up and IF he wants a test and IF he is her father then he will have rights. He will have to pay support but he also will get visitation. It would be supervised to begin with since they don't know each other.


 my daughters dad left me when i was pregnant to..he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby.  when dd was 3 we ended up in court, i thougt there was no way in hell the judge would grant him anything...boy was i wrong!!! if it had been up to the judge MY daughter woulda spent 5 days with me, 5 days with him over and over and over for the rest of her life! thank god that didnt happen!  but he did get granted joint custody and had access to her 3 weekends outta 5..so for weekends it went him, me, him, him, me...and he was granted half of the stat holidays.   it frickin SUCKED!  that happened for about a year and then decided that it was just "too much" so he went down to every other weekend.........then every 2 weekends....then exactly 2 years ago he decided he was totally done!!  that was right before he 6th birthday..shes gonna be 8 on sunday!  having him be "involved" for those 3yrs has totally screwed up my kid!  breaks my heart.  we were soooo much better off without him.  it was definetley not worth the $170/month i get in child support.  hope your situation turns out better!!  if ya ever need to talk, feel free to pm me!  :)


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