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BEDTIME HELP ME!!!!!!

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:19 PM
  • 8 Replies
Ok here's my problem I made an epic first mom mistake with my oldest son (3yrs old now) I would lay with him until he fell asleep at night :( I know I know judge me I know some of you will but My husband and I are trying to break the habit cause we just can't do it anymore I know people say just leave him in there let him cry, the thing is I totally would except he shares a room with my youngest who is almost 9mo. I just would like some advice from moms who have been there or know moms who have been through this. And as a side note my youngest wakes up Everytime the 3yr old cries when myself or my husband leave the room

****at this exact moment of writing this I am sitting in the hallway across from the room watching him in the door way and i told him Everytime he gets up or goes 5min with out sleeping I am moving farther away from the room
Still need advice though anything would help :) thanks ladies I love knowing I can come here and get great advice :) hugs!!!
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by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:19 PM
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Replies (1-8):
duttonwood
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:29 PM

all of our kids have slept with us until they were 2ish.  Take the babies crib and put it someplace else (temporarily) Make sure your 3 yo has no reason to get out of the bed and if he can't lay in the bed and sleep then make him stand at the foot of yours and watch you  "sleep"

This works for my 4 yo. It took her about a month and a few spankings to learn that I mean buisness. and that I meant for her to stand quietly.  (I  don't spank her unless all else fails)

I hope that this helps good luck.

newmom0508
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:37 PM
We got a night light for my 3 and 4 year olds. It's actually quite big and changes colors. Also they got a puppy to sleep with them :) we allow them to watch this baby tv channel for a half hour with the lights off after bath and teeth brushing then turn it off and have the light and sound machine playing rain. So far so good. If they do come out or get crazy I tell them to get their butts back in bed and close their eyes
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bbmkfo03
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 12:11 AM

 My DD has never had an issue with this but I can't imagine spanking helping in this situation. You want to make sleeping in his bed a fun, cool thing to do, not something to fear. There have to be more appropriate consequences to getting out of bed. Is there enough light, does he have a favorite stuffed animal to sleep with, do you play soft music? My DD can't sleep with out her Cd player on, 3 night lights, humidifier on and I can't even count how many stuffed animals. She also has a 2nd music & lights player attached to the side of her bed that she turns on herself for extra comfort when needed. Good luck, I hope you find something that works!

oahoah
by Bronze Member on Apr. 26, 2012 at 12:33 AM

I don't have much helpful advice but I have been through your situation. We have a 7, 4 and 2 year old. We kept DS2 in our bedroom when he was a baby so that our oldest would sleep better on his own; unfortunately this may have caused DS2 to have severe separation issues to this day; for a while he was fine in his own bedroom (we moved into a bigger house) but we were still staying in his room til he fell asleep or he would scream & cry and it wasn't just because he was being a brat, he was truly scared to be alone (he still does this during naptimes occasionally).  When DS3 was born we moved DS2 in with DS1 and they are still (somewhat) happily sharing a bedroom and this is when we stopped staying in the room with him but he still gets panicky if his brother isn't there for some reason.  Now with DS3 (our baby), he would sleep great on his own up until about a year old or just over and then he started needing me to be with him, particularly for naps. Since my other 2 were being entertained & watched most days by my sister who would come over to help out, I would relish the chance to take a nap with baby btu soon that became bedtime routine too.  My DH & I are pretty much in agreement that we will just take turns until this phase ends.  We have a pretty strict bedtime so that we will still have plenty of couple-time after our boys get to bed. I think having plenty of fresh air, activity, and quiet music and lots of reading times has helped my boys to become better sleepers but there are days when they just need to have that security and I am happy most of the time to give it to them.  Good luck with your situation.

momoftwo0406
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 12:36 AM
Keep moving farther and farther out of the room. Expect him to come in your room at night for the first week. Take him back to his room if he does. Praise him in the morning for being such a good boy and tell him how proud you are. It takes 2 weeks to established a habit
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ajbrownies
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 12:47 AM

I don't think you are a bad mom. I did the same thing and I won't lie it was HELL. I have come to realize after MANY fights and frustrations that they are going to grow up fast enough. There is going to come a time when I wish they'd let me cuddle with them.

My oldest is 5 and sometimes I still crawl on her bed and cuddle with her for a little while. She does better but sometimes I still get up and go in there and as tired as I am I just remind myself that as long as she gets a little better every day it's OK and she'll be grown and gone before I know it so I just accept it for cuddle time.

With our DD I lay her down and sing her a few songs, somtimes we cuddle, sometimes not. If she's being really fussy about going to sleep I tell her I'll set a timer and if she's laid in bed really quiet and nicely I'll come check on her and make sure she's OK. Usually by the second time the timer's gone off she's OUT.

3sonsmommy
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 11:18 AM

My 4yo still gets in my bed a few nights a week, I broke him at 3 by telling him a few weeks before his bday that 3 year olds sleep in their own beds. He did great until 4 mo later I spent 2weeks in the hospital and then he was right back in my bed. now over a year later he still comes in, but getting him to bed in his own room isn't a problem now. But kind of like the other poster, I tell my hubby that in a couple years he will want nothing to do with us so I will snuggle him as long as I can and love every minute of it. My 15 and 18yo barely even give me a hug anymore. So enjoy it it is "for a limited time only"

bmw29
by Bronze Member on Apr. 26, 2012 at 11:21 AM
I did the same thing. I just started telling him that he had to lay still and quiet for 5 minutes and then I would lay with him. He couldn't tell time so I would just wait for him to fall asleep. If he got up or made noise the time started over. It never took longer than 20 minutes.
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