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late bedtime for my stepson

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my DH has his 9 yr old son every other weekend and when he is over he lets him stay up super late!  i mean it is usually around 11;30, and last night was midnight!!  so DH slept in and they didnt have breakfast till noon this morning.  even if you offer him breakfast his son wont eat till he can eat with daddy.  i am very much against this behavior!  i feel that if he is going to let him stay up late 10 MAYBE 10:30 is latest he should be up.  i know his son gets tired, but wont tell his father bc he has so much fun playing with him.  (last night they watched 2 movies).  when i voice my opinion about it DH ends up getting mad bc he is not my son and i am basically telling him how to raise his son.  but i KNOW if his sons mother knew how late he went to bed when he is there she would be P!$$ed!!  my MIL has spoken to him about it...  i have... his other family memners have, we cant get through.  his son gets sick easily and i think that when his sleep is thrown off like that it messes with his immunse system.  any thoughts or suggestions??  anybody know where i can find some info on the importance of child sleep patterns or something??  or do you have any suggestions os approaching this a different way? because by now i am just a nag when i talk to him about it.  

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 7:00 PM
Replies (11-19):
stepdiva
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:58 PM
I am all for bed time schedules with the exception of weekends. I don't see any harm in this. They need the time together. Leave them alone. With all due respect, you sound jealous. When you hooked up with
your DH, you knew he was a
package deal. I am not bashing you,
only asking you to consider that this
sounds more about you than him?
it's every other weekend, and he
needs his dad. And his dad needs
him. Relax, he'll be grown soon
enough and these times will be
nothing more than irritating
memories. Lol. Pick your battles honey!
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LindaClement
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:00 AM

So?

People need varying amounts of sleep.

You can make a war over the things children need to do or they'll die (the only things children need more than sleep are water and air -- sleep deprivation kills people in under 7 days, water is three days and air is 12 minutes) OR you could ... you know... act like a rational adult.

Sleep, like food and water and air, are things kids NEED to do or they'll die. In the absence of pressure, coercion or any suggestion that any body other than their's needs it or can control it... kids will simply sleep as much as they need.

Coercion (bedtime, punishment involving bedtimes, control of bedtimes, etc.) makes staying up all night a hugely important goal.

Skip it. You'll get more sleep.

Nattiesmom10
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:04 AM
I don't see what the big deal is. He's just trying to spend time with his son & have a good time. He doesn't get to see him all the time so it seems like he's just trying to spend as much time enjoying their time as he can. My dd stats up late & we get up late & there's nothing wrong with either if us.
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JaxMomma78
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:53 AM

i came to this group for some advice!  and i really do appreciate everyones imput.  i guess it is fine if ppl dissagree with me, and want to let me know they think i am wrong, but honestly some of these replies make me feel attacked.  and it reminds me why i hav hesitated to post other things in this group.

for those of you who have been respectful(whether you have agreed or not) i thank you, for those who have decided to attack and belittle i can do without your advice.

mamakenzi
by Kenzi on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:27 AM

Considering it's just every other weekend, I see no harm in it.  About twice a month my daughter and I stay up late watching movies together.  It's good bonding. 

alexis_06
by AnnaLisa on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:09 AM
1 mom liked this

 i get where youre coming from, because when my daughter used to go to her dads every other weekend, it used to piss me off soooooo much that he let her stay up late.......however, she was 3-4yrs old....my daughter just turned 8 and stays up til that time when she has sleepovers...so i really dont see the differance...ya just put them to bed a lil earlier sunday night..their kids, their bodies bounce back soo fast, i dont think it will interupt their sleeping habbits. 

out of everything you stated, my only issue...is that dad should be getting up in the morning when his son gets up.....if he's so keen on "bonding" then morning time should be no exception!   :)

mom27g
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 8:45 AM


Quoting Livinwith3boys:

Let it go!! He just wants as much bonding time as possible with his son...


 Pam
Mom to 2 boys, wife to a wonderful husband 
 

marisab
by on May. 5, 2012 at 9:01 AM

hmmmmmm maybe convince him to do mor ein the day and dont stay up quite that late otherwise i reallyu dont know

mommaFruFru
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2012 at 6:27 PM
Just let it go. I let my boys stay up ad late ad they want on weekends... 2 weeks aho it was 1am and my 3yo was outdide digging for wotms with daddy. Its the werkend and time eith daddy is rare
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