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If im pregnant we should get married

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Long story short my bf lives in Ohio and he wants to come out here to WA. No problem except for the most part Ill be supporting him till he gets a job and paying for the plane ticket. I want another child and he said okay. Well I brought up the whole plan when he gets here because I dont want unexpected expectations. After I ask about work he says "I want to find anything possible to support myself". To me it sounded a little selfish, so I ask "what if I get pregnant?" Then he states then well get married. I lol at him because I'm not getting married because I'm pregnant, Marriage shouldnt be because a woman gets pregnant. Marriage should be because you love that person, work well in a family together, and care deeply about each other. Am I wrong for this. I have a few other reasons to why I dont want immediately but there minor. He hasnt said anything since and its been 15 minutes.

Some ladies have asked if I'm willing to have a child with him why am I not willing to marry him. I want to marry him But it would be nice not to be pregnant during the wedding. Also since I'm not paying for it my parents are we should be able to take the time to plan the wedding and not make more stress to an already stressful pregnancy.
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by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:18 PM
Replies (21-30):
Bookoholic
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2012 at 3:17 PM
Ive been thinking aboit that too but i dont want to bring too much up at once


Quoting bmw29:

I think if your plan is to TTC it would be smart to get married first.

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AM-BRAT
by Amber on May. 1, 2012 at 3:21 PM
I'm one of the exceptions.

We married for pregnancy then MADE it work.

We have a fabulous loving family and healthy marriage. :)
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Bmat
by Barb on May. 1, 2012 at 3:41 PM

Think what is best for the children. They have to come first in figuring out what to do.

Tranla
by Elisabeth on May. 1, 2012 at 3:44 PM
It's smart not to get married based on a surprise pregnancy with someone you barely know. But why not talk about marriage before planning a baby?
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1st_time_mom789
by on May. 1, 2012 at 3:46 PM

 I hear ya mama. When I was pregnant, everyone was asking me if DF and I were going to get married. I told them eventually we are because getting married was always on the table for us. We were engaged when we found out I was pregnant. I personally don't believe you HAVE to get married beacuse you are pregnant.

hopealways4019
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 3:52 PM
OK, guess you don't live your life, according to bible, neither do I.


Quoting Bookoholic:

Too late for that, I already have a child out of wedlock




Quoting hopealways4019:

If your a Christian, you won't have a child out of wedlock.


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Bookoholic
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2012 at 3:58 PM
1 mom liked this
No I dont, but even tho I do believe and have faith in christianity, I feel that each persons interpertation of the Bible is for them to decide and if another Chrostian cant be happy with my desicision its not my problem. So I had sex before marriage it hasnt hurt anyone but me.


Quoting hopealways4019:

OK, guess you don't live your life, according to bible, neither do I.




Quoting Bookoholic:

Too late for that, I already have a child out of wedlock






Quoting hopealways4019:

If your a Christian, you won't have a child out of wedlock.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
TAG2.0
by on May. 1, 2012 at 4:03 PM

I dont believe in shotgun weddings.

AM-BRAT
by Amber on May. 2, 2012 at 12:43 AM
But you're not preg yet right? You're just talking about a baby?

I know I posted before that we had baby first then got married and we're happy- but if you are still planning, get married first.


Quoting Bookoholic:

Long story short my bf lives in Ohio and he wants to come out here to WA. No problem except for the most part Ill be supporting him till he gets a job and paying for the plane ticket. I want another child and he said okay. Well I brought up the whole plan when he gets here because I dont want unexpected expectations. After I ask about work he says "I want to find anything possible to support myself". To me it sounded a little selfish, so I ask "what if I get pregnant?" Then he states then well get married. I lol at him because I'm not getting married because I'm pregnant, Marriage shouldnt be because a woman gets pregnant. Marriage should be because you love that person, work well in a family together, and care deeply about each other. Am I wrong for this. I have a few other reasons to why I dont want immediately but there minor. He hasnt said anything since and its been 15 minutes.

Some ladies have asked if I'm willing to have a child with him why am I not willing to marry him. I want to marry him But it would be nice not to be pregnant during the wedding. Also since I'm not paying for it my parents are we should be able to take the time to plan the wedding and not make more stress to an already stressful pregnancy.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
alexis_06
by AnnaLisa on May. 2, 2012 at 12:46 AM

 yaaa it kinda irks me when people get married JUST because a baby is now involved...thats a wrong reason to get married...and people wonder why there are so many divorces these days!!  :S

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