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If im pregnant we should get married

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Long story short my bf lives in Ohio and he wants to come out here to WA. No problem except for the most part Ill be supporting him till he gets a job and paying for the plane ticket. I want another child and he said okay. Well I brought up the whole plan when he gets here because I dont want unexpected expectations. After I ask about work he says "I want to find anything possible to support myself". To me it sounded a little selfish, so I ask "what if I get pregnant?" Then he states then well get married. I lol at him because I'm not getting married because I'm pregnant, Marriage shouldnt be because a woman gets pregnant. Marriage should be because you love that person, work well in a family together, and care deeply about each other. Am I wrong for this. I have a few other reasons to why I dont want immediately but there minor. He hasnt said anything since and its been 15 minutes.

Some ladies have asked if I'm willing to have a child with him why am I not willing to marry him. I want to marry him But it would be nice not to be pregnant during the wedding. Also since I'm not paying for it my parents are we should be able to take the time to plan the wedding and not make more stress to an already stressful pregnancy.
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by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:18 PM
Replies (31-40):
prenatalRN
by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:48 AM

IMO having a child is a bigger deal than getting married. Cant go back on having a baby! Id say table the baby talk for now and focus on the marriage talk. Give that a try for a year or so (being married that is) then bring up baby again. At least that way you will know better if you want to tie yourself forever to this person by having a child together

Quoting Bookoholic:

Ive been thinking aboit that too but i dont want to bring too much up at once


Quoting bmw29:

I think if your plan is to TTC it would be smart to get married first.


Bookoholic
by Silver Member on May. 2, 2012 at 1:35 AM
Lol yep


Quoting alexis_06:

 yaaa it kinda irks me when people get married JUST because a baby is now involved...thats a wrong reason to get married...and people wonder why there are so many divorces these days!!  :S


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mamaeagle216
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:24 AM
This. You can't divorce a child. And if you're not planning on getting married for a while why plan on a baby?? Things happen. I get accidents and surprises happen but how well do you get along with your other baby daddy?


Quoting prenatalRN:

IMO having a child is a bigger deal than getting married. Cant go back on having a baby! Id say table the baby talk for now and focus on the marriage talk. Give that a try for a year or so (being married that is) then bring up baby again. At least that way you will know better if you want to tie yourself forever to this person by having a child together


Quoting Bookoholic:

Ive been thinking aboit that too but i dont want to bring too much up at once





Quoting bmw29:

I think if your plan is to TTC it would be smart to get married first.




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LuvLili131
by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:12 PM

I couldn't agree more!!! This is the way i feel and i work for lawyers and one young lawyer was getting married and i was pregnant at the same time. I am NOT married and I'm not a teenage! I'm 25years old. She has looked down on my ever since the day i let everyone know i was pregnant. She is a rude and selfish bitch anymore. A lot of the reason is that i was pregnant and not married. Get off me! I don't want to get married because we are having a baby. and I stand by that and it pisses me off when people suggest or look down on you for not being married and getting pregnant. Its just a piece of paper saying legally u are married. I want to get married when we are both ready not because we have a baby on the way!!!! More power to you sister!!!

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on May. 2, 2012 at 1:07 PM
Good luck. Me personally, I don't have children before marriage.
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dawnbradley
by on May. 2, 2012 at 2:51 PM
Geeze. Really? Having a baby is stressful with a husband.................alone I could not imagine. Anyway...............he will always be that kids dad. Whether u marry him or not.
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Jadegirl1819
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2012 at 2:59 PM
1 mom liked this

How about you wait until he has a decent job before getting married and then starting a family?  I just don't understand why that isn't the first thought. 

jabs54
by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2012 at 3:02 PM

 Well, I wouldn't be thinking about having a child with someone I wasn't married to so I'm no help...

Bookoholic
by Silver Member on May. 2, 2012 at 3:14 PM
No baby yet we are planning on getting married but because of my abilty to get pregnant were going to try while planing a wedding.


Quoting AM-BRAT:

But you're not preg yet right? You're just talking about a baby?



I know I posted before that we had baby first then got married and we're happy- but if you are still planning, get married first.




Quoting Bookoholic:

Long story short my bf lives in Ohio and he wants to come out here to WA. No problem except for the most part Ill be supporting him till he gets a job and paying for the plane ticket. I want another child and he said okay. Well I brought up the whole plan when he gets here because I dont want unexpected expectations. After I ask about work he says "I want to find anything possible to support myself". To me it sounded a little selfish, so I ask "what if I get pregnant?" Then he states then well get married. I lol at him because I'm not getting married because I'm pregnant, Marriage shouldnt be because a woman gets pregnant. Marriage should be because you love that person, work well in a family together, and care deeply about each other. Am I wrong for this. I have a few other reasons to why I dont want immediately but there minor. He hasnt said anything since and its been 15 minutes.

Some ladies have asked if I'm willing to have a child with him why am I not willing to marry him. I want to marry him But it would be nice not to be pregnant during the wedding. Also since I'm not paying for it my parents are we should be able to take the time to plan the wedding and not make more stress to an already stressful pregnancy.


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AM-BRAT
by Amber on May. 2, 2012 at 3:17 PM
But you said you didn't want to be pregnant at the wedding?

Obviously you'll do what you want but that is very cart before the horse.

Gl either way.


Quoting Bookoholic:

No baby yet we are planning on getting married but because of my abilty to get pregnant were going to try while planing a wedding.




Quoting AM-BRAT:

But you're not preg yet right? You're just talking about a baby?





I know I posted before that we had baby first then got married and we're happy- but if you are still planning, get married first.






Quoting Bookoholic:

Long story short my bf lives in Ohio and he wants to come out here to WA. No problem except for the most part Ill be supporting him till he gets a job and paying for the plane ticket. I want another child and he said okay. Well I brought up the whole plan when he gets here because I dont want unexpected expectations. After I ask about work he says "I want to find anything possible to support myself". To me it sounded a little selfish, so I ask "what if I get pregnant?" Then he states then well get married. I lol at him because I'm not getting married because I'm pregnant, Marriage shouldnt be because a woman gets pregnant. Marriage should be because you love that person, work well in a family together, and care deeply about each other. Am I wrong for this. I have a few other reasons to why I dont want immediately but there minor. He hasnt said anything since and its been 15 minutes.

Some ladies have asked if I'm willing to have a child with him why am I not willing to marry him. I want to marry him But it would be nice not to be pregnant during the wedding. Also since I'm not paying for it my parents are we should be able to take the time to plan the wedding and not make more stress to an already stressful pregnancy.



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