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In a bad situation. what should i do? whats right and whats wrong?

Posted by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:41 PM
  • 20 Replies

My boyfriends 20 year old daughter has been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Her boyfriend is going to leave her cause he doesnt want that responsibility so she will be alone. Well me and my boyfriend are expecting in August. I want to do whats right so i am going to step aside and let him move back to his home town to take care of his daughter. I am going to move back to my home town and give our baby up for adoption. This way he doesn't feel torn and guilty and can just freely take care of his daughter. I feel like this is the right thing for him to do. I can not do both because he will have to stay the night with her every night and i cant manage a full time job and our newborn plus my 2 toddler boys from a previous marriage. So i am just trying to do what i think is right and the best for everybody. Some people in my familiy dont agree with this. Whats your opinions? thanks.

by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
countrygirlkat
by Kathleen on May. 2, 2012 at 12:45 PM

Could you move her in with you either in your current town, his hometown or your home town?

dorky.chrissy
by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:48 PM

ms isn't as bad as it's made out to be.  If you diet properly keep active even work out you can live seamlessly in society for years,  My freind is  35 and was just diagnoisised with this as well,  and he lives a fairly normal life,  however; there are some days he can't quite get the feel right,  but he can still proceed with life... I doubt you need to step aside break up,  put your child up for adoption,  or any of that,  I think you guys should attempt to do this together, because she isn't going to need  as much care as you think,  she will be able to work and stuff, if she tries, and if she don't want to try she will  will stiffin up and die,  I forgot about my friends gf,  she is an EMT and has  like ms and shes pretty bad, but she still does it , she shouldn't  just sit there and sign her death warrant, she needs to live as a normal  person ms isn't the woooooorse thing ever. 

Rjohnson6708
by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:54 PM

No she hates where we live and will never move. My boyfriend has a house in his hometown thats paid off so it will be financially better for him there anyways.

luvemboth
by Silver Member on May. 2, 2012 at 12:57 PM
Why can't you live with him in his hometown? Is the house big enough for you, him, his dd and 3 kids?
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Rjohnson6708
by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:58 PM

i agree but my boyfriend however is already making plan to take care of her. And he has a grandmother who needs the families care too. his dad has cancer. its just too much at once with his daughters health now. 

Quoting dorky.chrissy:

ms isn't as bad as it's made out to be.  If you diet properly keep active even work out you can live seamlessly in society for years,  My freind is  35 and was just diagnoisised with this as well,  and he lives a fairly normal life,  however; there are some days he can't quite get the feel right,  but he can still proceed with life... I doubt you need to step aside break up,  put your child up for adoption,  or any of that,  I think you guys should attempt to do this together, because she isn't going to need  as much care as you think,  she will be able to work and stuff, if she tries, and if she don't want to try she will  will stiffin up and die,  I forgot about my friends gf,  she is an EMT and has  like ms and shes pretty bad, but she still does it , she shouldn't  just sit there and sign her death warrant, she needs to live as a normal  person ms isn't the woooooorse thing ever. 


Rjohnson6708
by on May. 2, 2012 at 1:01 PM

Its 2 hours away from my 2 kids father and we have joint custody. and theres no space in his house for 6 people. Its a double wide. and he lives in the mountains in a town filled with meth labs and they only have houses, 2 gas stations, a restaurant, and a dollar store within miles of anything. the town hasn't evolved at all. my home town is much nicer so i would move back there. my sister wants the baby so i will adopt her out to my sister.

Quoting luvemboth:

Why can't you live with him in his hometown? Is the house big enough for you, him, his dd and 3 kids?


beco8627
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2012 at 1:02 PM
1 mom liked this
I have a few family members with MS...it takes many yrs before the individual is wheel chair bound and unable to take care of themselves. Him moving in with her to take care of her is a bit extreme at this stage..yet I understand how he wants to be there for emotional support. However, he helped make this baby, and I feel he should be there for you as well...I think you putting the baby up for adoption and letting him go is a very selfless act on your part, but just remember that you deserve support too.
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beco8627
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2012 at 1:05 PM
Your sister adopting the baby??? Have you thought long and hard about the future out come? Would the child know you as bio mother, or aunt? The child would have many questions, and could have resentment, self esteem issues, just a while slew of problems could subside from you having your sister adopt this baby


Quoting Rjohnson6708:

Its 2 hours away from my 2 kids father and we have joint custody. and theres no space in his house for 6 people. Its a double wide. and he lives in the mountains in a town filled with meth labs and they only have houses, 2 gas stations, a restaurant, and a dollar store within miles of anything. the town hasn't evolved at all. my home town is much nicer so i would move back there. my sister wants the baby so i will adopt her out to my sister.

Quoting luvemboth:

Why can't you live with him in his hometown? Is the house big enough for you, him, his dd and 3 kids?



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babie113
by Jenny on May. 2, 2012 at 1:05 PM
I couldn't put my baby up for adoption for that reason I think he should make her move in with you all weather she likes it or not or put her in with a friend or leave her to it...sounds awful I know but I wouldn't give my baby away besides what if you and bf break up under the stress. ?
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Rjohnson6708
by on May. 2, 2012 at 1:10 PM

My sister is my half sister and lives in a different state. I would only be known as an aunt but from a distance because i never see that sister anyways. 

Quoting beco8627:

Your sister adopting the baby??? Have you thought long and hard about the future out come? Would the child know you as bio mother, or aunt? The child would have many questions, and could have resentment, self esteem issues, just a while slew of problems could subside from you having your sister adopt this baby


Quoting Rjohnson6708:

Its 2 hours away from my 2 kids father and we have joint custody. and theres no space in his house for 6 people. Its a double wide. and he lives in the mountains in a town filled with meth labs and they only have houses, 2 gas stations, a restaurant, and a dollar store within miles of anything. the town hasn't evolved at all. my home town is much nicer so i would move back there. my sister wants the baby so i will adopt her out to my sister.

Quoting luvemboth:

Why can't you live with him in his hometown? Is the house big enough for you, him, his dd and 3 kids?




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