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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

DD and having to put a family pet to sleep.

Posted by on May. 3, 2012 at 12:15 PM
  • 3 Replies

 Our family cat(I'll call BG, her initials) of 14+ years has Lymphoma really bad. She was diagnosed about 1.5 months ago and we were told she only had a few good weeks to months left. She was put on high dose steroids that helped and we were told to just watch her for signs of deterioration, otherwise just to love her up while we could.

We were honest with DD(8) about BG's condition and what to expect. She's been aware that we were going to have to put BG to sleep soon so she doesn't suffer when the cancer starts to make her more sick than well. That day is coming upon us now. Up until the last few days BG has been eating and drinking, interacting and vocalizing as usual. Now she's more lethargic, eating less(but still eating), not as vocal or as interactive. Because of vomiting and diarrhea (which is also happening more frequently) we've confined BG to one room. DD has been helping take care of her, we all go in the room a few times a day and spend at least 20 minutes each time holding and loving her. The only thing we have not discussed with DD is the option of her being there when we put BG to sleep. She knows it will happen, she knows we will have her cremated and she knows we will then bury the ashes in our fountain garden with a memorial.

I'm just wondering if it would be best for me to make the decision to do it without DD there or give her the choice of being there or not. She's very smart and a bit mature for her age, but she's still only 8. Anyone else ever dealt with this? Would you give your child the option to make the choice for themselves, or would you make it for them?

by on May. 3, 2012 at 12:15 PM
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Replies (1-3):
chazzamatazz
by Member on May. 3, 2012 at 12:31 PM

I'm so sorry your family is going through this. I recently lost my beloved cat to kidney failure and I'm having some glass jewelry made with her ashes so I can always have her with me.

I suggest that you let your little girl make the decision to be there. She seems to be handling everything pretty well so far, from what you say. And if she has much of a relationship with your sweet kitty, I'm sure the pet herself would prefer to have her around as a comforting element. 

pregnancy due date

JC2223
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2012 at 6:05 PM
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trebelcleff
by on May. 3, 2012 at 6:20 PM

I think she is old enough to decide if she wants to be there (if the vet will allow it).  They go very peacefully, so I don't think it would be too traumatic or anything, and if she isn't given the option, she may be even more hurt that she couldn't "say goodbye" at the very end.

I'm so sorry your family has to go through this... when one of our cats was diagnosed with cancer and became very suddenly ill shortly after, I couldn't bring myself to go to the vet and sent my DH instead.  It is so sad losing a beloved member of the family!!!

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