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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Everyone is going to think I'm a horrible person.....

Alrighty.

I have 3 kids. 5yr old, 3yr old, and a 1yr old.

My husband and I decided we weren't going to have anymore babies and have been using protection since the youngest was born.

2 months ago, we decided to get a pet for the house... we got a puppy because I can't have cats in the house.. Well the first month and half was going great. The pup adjusted pretty well and we did to her. She is quite the handful of course, being a puppy. She's pretty rough with the kids when she's excited,so she's contained to one part of the house. It's been working out pretty well.. that is until recently.

I noticed I started getting short with the pup.. Getting impatient with the barking, the snipping, the jumping ect. Didn't think much of it other than maybe it was that time of the month.. and I was just getting moody. Well it turns out I'm pregnant.. and I'm a very moody, emotionaly pregnant lady.. can't help it.. lol

Now this is where people are going to hate me.. since I know how I get, when I'm pregnant, I know there is no way i'm going to have the patience for the pup... as I've already lost my patients with her, and I'm not even 6 weeks pregnant.. it's only going to get harder. I do my best at remaining calm but sometimes I can't help but regret getting her and honestly can't stand being around her.. I know this sounds awful.. but I can't help but feel this way.. I don't know what it is.... I love animals... but apparently I can't live with them. I suppose it also doesn't help that I'm the only 1 to care for 3 kids and a pup.. It's stressful. I knew it was going to be when we got her, and I was handling pretty well... until recently. Finding out that i'm pregnant again has me worried. I do not want to be stressed during the pregnancy and I want to eliminate any extra anxiety triggers for me.

This is going to be our last baby and I want to enjoy every moment of this experience... and I know I wont be able to while raising a puppy. I'm also worried how things will be after the baby is born. I know it's a ways a way and the pup will be older, but since the pup is a lab.. she's going to be a pup for a long time.. and I just don't know that I'll be able to handle it.. and so I'm scared.

My brother and his wife have a 10 month old pup and have been recently looking for another pup. I was thinking of talking with my brother about taking our pup. My husband isn't thrilled with the idea, but I think it's more because of the money we spent on getting her and then all the things she needed plus the vet bills.. He hasn't really bonded with her, nor does he take care of her. This IS my decision and he'll accept whatever I decide.. but I can tell he's disappointed. He's not to keen on the idea, that we're having another baby, but he's accepted that.. 

Everyone told me when we got the pup that I was crazy and they didn't think I could handle it.. I guess they were right, but I wouldn't be feeling this way, had I not gotten pregnant. I really don't want to listen to all the "i told you so-s" Mostly because I'm having a hard time admiting they were all right.. I'm embarrased..scared.. overwhelmed..I know people are going to think i'm a horrible person. I know I shouldn't care what they say but it's who I am, I can't help but care what people think and say about me.


I'm almost positive that my brother will gratefully accept the pup but I'm nervous about what he's going to think about me.. He was one of those who didn't think I could do it..and joked around with how long it was going to take before I got "sick of it" I really want him to be supportive and not judgemental.. I think he's the one I'm most worried about.

I don't really know what my point is for posting.. I guess I just needed to spell it all out and get it out of my head. I have no one else to talk to.. I don't have many friends, and the friends I do have, I know aren't going to be happy with me..

I know I'm going to get a lot of comments about the pregnancy alone.. but then getting more comments about wanting to give the pup away is going to bring more judgement and disappointment that I'm going to have a hard time hearing..

Good thing i'm posting here though, I'm sure there are many of you, that will jump my bones.. but maybe it'll help me prepare for what my real life friends and family will say..



by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:22 AM
Replies (41-45):
lilmomma22487
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:19 PM

Focus on the little bambina inside you and give the dog to your brother! You need to be allowed to enjoy this wonderful experience. This will be your last baby. I wish I had known that our third child was going to be my last. I thought I would have one more so I didn't really think about it. Then my husband tells me he doesn't want anymore!! I fully support you getting rid of the puppy. They are a lot of work for people who are not pregnant and not even moms. That's why so many people refer to their pets as their babies. Its like raising another child. No judgement here!! **HUGS**

SavdNSanctified
by on May. 6, 2012 at 10:27 PM

Don't feel bad! If it's too much, then it's too much! Don't worry about it. Just do whatever you need to do.

Momof2almost
by on May. 6, 2012 at 11:00 PM

 No judging here.  I am a person who feels like when you adopt an animal you should be willing to let them live out their lives with their family BUT if you are not receiving any help from anyone and you can find the pup a new/better home than by all means.  The only way I would be harsh is if you were to just dump the pup off on the street and never think about it.  It's hard with kids and having a pet is a long commitment (I know, we have a 7 year old golden retriever, 7 year old cat, 2 gerbils, and just got a 12 week old puppy).  There is no reason to have added stress if you know you can't handle it.  As long as pup gets a good loving home!

spotsmom
by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM

Give your brother the pup and don't give it another thought. You're not horrible at all. Good for you for recognizing it for what it is, instead making yourself and the puppy miserable later on. Take care of yourself and your children, the pup can find a good home elsewhere. 

lazyd
by Member on May. 9, 2012 at 10:19 AM

I would just admit you made a mistake and let your brother have the pup.  I dont think your doing anything wrong.  Nothing to say about the pregnancy, expect you are very fertile!!  LOL!  You and your husband both need to get "fixed" like the pup!  LOL!  Its ok to admit mistakes.

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