Everyone is going to think I'm a horrible person.....
I have 3 kids. 5yr old, 3yr old, and a 1yr old.
My husband and I decided we weren't going to have anymore babies and have been using protection since the youngest was born.
2 months ago, we decided to get a pet for the house... we got a puppy because I can't have cats in the house.. Well the first month and half was going great. The pup adjusted pretty well and we did to her. She is quite the handful of course, being a puppy. She's pretty rough with the kids when she's excited,so she's contained to one part of the house. It's been working out pretty well.. that is until recently.
I noticed I started getting short with the pup.. Getting impatient with the barking, the snipping, the jumping ect. Didn't think much of it other than maybe it was that time of the month.. and I was just getting moody. Well it turns out I'm pregnant.. and I'm a very moody, emotionaly pregnant lady.. can't help it.. lol
Now this is where people are going to hate me.. since I know how I get, when I'm pregnant, I know there is no way i'm going to have the patience for the pup... as I've already lost my patients with her, and I'm not even 6 weeks pregnant.. it's only going to get harder. I do my best at remaining calm but sometimes I can't help but regret getting her and honestly can't stand being around her.. I know this sounds awful.. but I can't help but feel this way.. I don't know what it is.... I love animals... but apparently I can't live with them. I suppose it also doesn't help that I'm the only 1 to care for 3 kids and a pup.. It's stressful. I knew it was going to be when we got her, and I was handling pretty well... until recently. Finding out that i'm pregnant again has me worried. I do not want to be stressed during the pregnancy and I want to eliminate any extra anxiety triggers for me.
This is going to be our last baby and I want to enjoy every moment of this experience... and I know I wont be able to while raising a puppy. I'm also worried how things will be after the baby is born. I know it's a ways a way and the pup will be older, but since the pup is a lab.. she's going to be a pup for a long time.. and I just don't know that I'll be able to handle it.. and so I'm scared.
My brother and his wife have a 10 month old pup and have been recently looking for another pup. I was thinking of talking with my brother about taking our pup. My husband isn't thrilled with the idea, but I think it's more because of the money we spent on getting her and then all the things she needed plus the vet bills.. He hasn't really bonded with her, nor does he take care of her. This IS my decision and he'll accept whatever I decide.. but I can tell he's disappointed. He's not to keen on the idea, that we're having another baby, but he's accepted that..
Everyone told me when we got the pup that I was crazy and they didn't think I could handle it.. I guess they were right, but I wouldn't be feeling this way, had I not gotten pregnant. I really don't want to listen to all the "i told you so-s" Mostly because I'm having a hard time admiting they were all right.. I'm embarrased..scared.. overwhelmed..I know people are going to think i'm a horrible person. I know I shouldn't care what they say but it's who I am, I can't help but care what people think and say about me.
I'm almost positive that my brother will gratefully accept the pup but I'm nervous about what he's going to think about me.. He was one of those who didn't think I could do it..and joked around with how long it was going to take before I got "sick of it" I really want him to be supportive and not judgemental.. I think he's the one I'm most worried about.
I don't really know what my point is for posting.. I guess I just needed to spell it all out and get it out of my head. I have no one else to talk to.. I don't have many friends, and the friends I do have, I know aren't going to be happy with me..
I know I'm going to get a lot of comments about the pregnancy alone.. but then getting more comments about wanting to give the pup away is going to bring more judgement and disappointment that I'm going to have a hard time hearing..
Good thing i'm posting here though, I'm sure there are many of you, that will jump my bones.. but maybe it'll help me prepare for what my real life friends and family will say..