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what would you do/what should i do to make him get it?

Posted by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:28 PM
  • 18 Replies

ok so i actually posted this in responce to another mom, but im curious what people would advice ME.

im tired of my husband smoking too. its really bad hear because he doesnt just smoke ciggaretts he smokes those black n milds that crystilize your lungs then hit your heart. its bad. i heard one black n mild =4 cigarretts. when i met him and married him he was not a smoker. he started up one day just when he would drink and now he smokes 3 a day. he has cut down to like 1 a day when he can thoguh. but i dont understand, he smokes inside. he makes sure hes not in the same room as our son but doesnt care if im there or not. he doesnt even open a window half the time. then i tell him i can smell it all over the house and he just gets upset and tells me im lying and being over dramatic. he wont even smoke outside. i wont leave my husband over smoking but it does hurt that he doesnt seem to feel that im telling the truth that its effecting our son. he also thinks its BS that you can get ill from second hand smoking. i had cancer and i got it under control but the docc said the more im arround smoke the more likely it will come back faster. i mean i still have a bit there but not enough for a surgury. i love my husband and i wish i could convince him that his smoking really is effecting our health and that it really does reach the back of the house.

by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommy091011
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:52 PM

BUMP!

piwife
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Maybe show him what is doing to his lungs. Do research and show it to him.
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terpmama
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2012 at 2:58 PM
1 mom liked this
I would leave... The basic lack of respect for you and your kids would be enough
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mommy091011
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:59 PM

i did that once. i showed him the pictures and everything and the many many years of research- he thinks its all BS. also he hates those "truth" commercials. and when he sees a post on like Facebook about smoking killing you he says -well that post was a waste of my time.

PinkParadox
by on May. 5, 2012 at 3:02 PM
Sounds like an ass. He could at least go outside.
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mommy091011
by on May. 5, 2012 at 3:03 PM

both my family and his family agree that it would be very wrong of me to kick him out just because he wouldnt stop smoking. i tell them he does it around me and all they say is-well tell him to stop. but thats the only advice im getting. lol i just want him to quit altogether.

Quoting terpmama:

I would leave... The basic lack of respect for you and your kids would be enough


081499
by on May. 5, 2012 at 3:03 PM

In a non-confrontational way, let him know that you're not going to tell him what to do with his body - he's an adult and can make his own decisions - but that you would appreciate it if he didn't threaten your health and your child's health by smoking in the house.  That's not a crazy request.  It's not being unreasonable.  (Most people I know who smoke do so outside - it's a fairly normal practice, even without kiddos around.)  It's something that's important to you, and therefore should be important to him.  Don't be accusing or judgemental, but kind with your words and tone while you talk to him.  

mommy091011
by on May. 5, 2012 at 3:05 PM

i agree he says "no its my house i should be able to smoke in my own house." i want to tell him to drive all the way to his parents house and smoke there if he wants to smoke inside. but then i think he might do it and end up staying there most nights. i dont want us to fall apart over this.

Quoting PinkParadox:

Sounds like an ass. He could at least go outside.


mommy091011
by on May. 5, 2012 at 3:09 PM

we have had that same dicussion in many ways and his responce is to roll his eyes and says " i only smoke like one or two a day. and your being really over drammatic, my smoking isnt effecting you or our son. dont act like i dont care about him too." or i cough right , and then he rolls his eyes and says " wtf ever suzanne, your being ridiculous! " then he puts it out all angry and doesnt talk to me for the rest of the night.

Quoting 081499:

In a non-confrontational way, let him know that you're not going to tell him what to do with his body - he's an adult and can make his own decisions - but that you would appreciate it if he didn't threaten your health and your child's health by smoking in the house.  That's not a crazy request.  It's not being unreasonable.  (Most people I know who smoke do so outside - it's a fairly normal practice, even without kiddos around.)  It's something that's important to you, and therefore should be important to him.  Don't be accusing or judgemental, but kind with your words and tone while you talk to him.  


StacyO722
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2012 at 3:24 PM
1 mom liked this

 Wow....He sounds like a childish a-hole. I'm a cancer survivor too and if my DH ever thought to smoke inside our house he would be living here alone. He was a smoker when we met, but he never did around me. He would smoke outside and I flat out told him I would not have children with him till he quit. He quit right before we got married, but he will have one occasionally when he is out with his friends now though. If he does, as soon as he gets home he puts his clothes in the washer. 

I don't think my advice will be very helpful, but I'd go live with my family till he got it through his head that it is not acceptable. He is risking the health of both you and your child. I mean seriously, your Dr said you can't be around the smoke, and he's still doing it. He's your husband and he should respect your feelings. You're being kinder than I would ever be.

Good luck.

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