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Mother's Day Dilemma

Posted by on May. 6, 2012 at 6:39 PM
  • 18 Replies

I recently had a bit of a falling out with my mother.  My son is going through a stage where he is lying about things when he visits Nana & Papa.  For instance...

  • He told my mom that Dad & I wouldn't buy him bandaids/neosporin for a bug bite he had.  She showed up at my house one day with a box of Bandaids and neosporin and practically chucked them at me, explaining why she was bringing me the items.  I walked into my bathroom and came out with not one but two boxes/bottles of each.  Obviously he was full of it.
  • He also fibbed and said we refused to put a new toy together for him (a big airport-style car ramp for his Hot Wheels).  She called me out on it and I marched her right up to his bedroom and pointed at the toy in question, which was fully assembled.  Again, he was busted in his lie.

You'd think she would realize by now that this is a phase he is going through for attention.  A couple of weeks ago, we had gone out to eat at a restaurant with some friends and our little man, as well.  I "checked us in" on Facebook, tagging everyone in attendence with the exception of my son considering he is 6 and clearly does not have a Facebook.  My mom took note of this and later asked my son about it.  He told her he was not allowed to go, that we made him stay home with a babysitter, and that he is with a babysitter nearly every night of the week.  Completely fabricated!!  Dad works from home so he is there 24/7.  I am home by either 6:30pm or 9:30pm at the latest every night (I manage a retail store).  Granted, we do occasionally get a babysitter to have date nights orgo out with friends, but it's maybe once or twice a month.  "Nearly every night of the week" is the biggest lie I've ever heard. 

My mom swallowed the lie hook, line, and sinker, and started a huge fight with me about it.  She even went so far as to tell me that she believes my son should be living with her because obviously my social life is more important than being a mother.  I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart; my son is my entire life.  The more I tried to convince her none of this was true, the angrier she became.  I even had my son call her to admit he lied about it and that blew up in my face, too -- apparently that made me a worse mother because I was using him as a pawn in the argument.  Untrue!  I simply needed him to a) admit to the lie he told and b) understand the reprocussions of the lie. 

I haven't spoken to her in nearly two weeks because of this argument (keep in mind, we are extremely close and typically talk on the phone 2-3 times a day).  I'm deeply offended and feel she should apologize.  I hate to "ignore" Mother's Day because of a fight that I know will ultimately be resolved, but I'm also in a very lovey-dovey mood with her right now and, as terrible as it sounds, don't feel like buying her a gift after the way she recently treated me.  I considered maybe having flowers delivered to her and hoping that would open the lines of communication enough for her to call and apologize, but who knows if that would work that way...

Sorry for the novel of a post... How would you handle it? 

by on May. 6, 2012 at 6:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JessicaRose1988
by on May. 6, 2012 at 6:50 PM

*NOT in a very lovey-dovey mood.  Typo, whoops!

Kermitthemom23
by on May. 6, 2012 at 6:53 PM

What about sending her a nice card and some flowers and let her know that you love her, and look forward to working out your current issues but at the moment, you are just NOT in the mood.

MissTacoBell
by Silver Member on May. 6, 2012 at 7:16 PM
She's still your mom...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
nellyb118
by Silver Member on May. 6, 2012 at 7:20 PM
I'm stubborn and wouldn't do anything :-/
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Bmat
by Barb on May. 6, 2012 at 7:26 PM

Shrug and roll your eyes.  It sounds as though his grandma is interested in drama.

trebelcleff
by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:18 PM
1 mom liked this

I personally wouldn't do anything either, except maybe send a card through the mail.  If she's going to take the word of a six year old over the word of the adult parent who has proven on numerous occasions that he lies, I would cease to have contact.  And that child would be more than a little bit punished for creating such a hostile situation!  

Kenzismommy09
by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:23 PM
Agreed.

I also would not be allowing your son around your mom if he keeps lying to her. Make sure he knows what he is doing is wrong and there are punishments for his actions.


Quoting trebelcleff:

I personally wouldn't do anything either, except maybe send a card through the mail.  If she's going to take the word of a six year old over the word of the adult parent who has proven on numerous occasions that he lies, I would cease to have contact.  And that child would be more than a little bit punished for creating such a hostile situation!  

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
JessicaRose1988
by on May. 6, 2012 at 10:54 PM
Donovan got in a lot of trouble for the lying. We took away quite a few privileges and had several conversations with him pertaining to the situation. I truly think he understands what he did and is sorry for it. It's sad when a six year old "gets it" before a 52 year old. My mother and I can both be overly dramatic but in this situation I honestly was not at fault. That's why I cut off all communication. I'll most likely send her a card but doubt I'll do much more unless she apologizes beforehand. She was purposefully being as hurtful as she could be by saying D should live with her and something that cruel is not going to be brushed under the rug. If anyone is a bad mother here, it's her. I don't care how grown your children are - you should never do something to intentionally hurt them, physically or emotionally. And then to let weeks go by without apologizing... It breaks my heart. :(
katiebug840204
by Katie on May. 6, 2012 at 11:00 PM
Me too

Quoting nellyb118:

I'm stubborn and wouldn't do anything :-/
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Elly219
by Member on May. 6, 2012 at 11:03 PM

 send flowere she maybe being a bitch(sorry) but she is and always will be your mom

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