Attempted Murder: My husband and my son's reaction to it....(PIOG)
I don't think I mentioned it here, but if I did I am sorry...but nothing has changed. My son hasn't spoken to me in several weeks. He witnessed the tail end of this because I screamed for him and he had to come disarm my husband. He is staying at my brother's, whom I despise because he HATES ME for no reason at all. He totally could care less that I was almost killed. He thinks I am a huge loser..I almost have a Ph.D., but was a stay at home mom because I could afford to be. We weren't rich like him, but there are various forms of wealth and I felt I had it b/c of my success with my son. My husband was not always violent. He has PTSD from Vietnam, and this was only the second incident; the other was only two weeks before and I knew it was b/c of the PTSD. He had an appt in a week, and I had called the VA and begged them to do something because he was acting so weird. My son is not his child; his father died when he was four. Does anyone have any ideas about WHY he is doing this (my son)? I am going through the motions to get him to counseling, but my brother isn't cooperating...help!
Lisa
"I've seen fire, and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end. I've seen lonely times that I could not find a friend, but I always thought that I'd see you again."
Ricardo Moreno (1950-2000)
I'm guessing he wants space. I'm also guessing this isn't the first incident between you and your husband. How old is your son? Do you think your brother is treating him well?
Why does your brother have the option to cooperate, don't you have legal rights to your son?
I might be in a unique position to give you advice about this. My mom also had a stabbing incident with her husband that she puts down to Vietnam related ptsd. Only it was her that stabbed him. I also distanced myself from her. I'm sick of the chaos. She's is old enough and has the tools available to her to lead a stable drama free life, yet that isn't what she chooses. I'm tired of rescuing her. I would wonder if your son feels the same?
No..this was only the second incident, and the other was only two weeks before, as I said in my post. His was def. PTSD, and I am NOT hanging around should he get out. HE is going to prison. He is in top security in jail on 100K bond. There is no drama. This was a two month period of time and I was trying to figure out how to get the heck out when this happened. I am not super rich. It's all in the original post. I have full, sole custody since his daddy died. My brother has none, I am just giving him the space, and no one knows what my brother's issue is with me except some possible lingering jealousy about my dad obviously preferring me over him his entire life...Lisa
Quoting Firewoman33:I'm guessing he wants space. I'm also guessing this isn't the first incident between you and your husband. How old is your son? Do you think your brother is treating him well?
Why does your brother have the option to cooperate, don't you have legal rights to your son?
I might be in a unique position to give you advice about this. My mom also had a stabbing incident with her husband that she puts down to Vietnam related ptsd. Only it was her that stabbed him. I also distanced myself from her. I'm sick of the chaos. She's is old enough and has the tools available to her to lead a stable drama free life, yet that isn't what she chooses. I'm tired of rescuing her. I would wonder if your son feels the same?
That might make sense...he is 15. The counselor said he is angry, possibly, and cannot take it out on Rick, so he is taking it out on me knowing I love him unconditionally...that also makes sense. I AM NOT TAKING HIM BACK, THAT'S FOR SURE. But, as I said in my first response to someone, he is definitely going to do time because the previous incident had him on probation...Lisa
Quoting lioness3e:Only he can give you answers. Maybe he's scared of losing you, or scared you'll take your husband back into the home. Again, only he knows the answer to your question.
How old is he?
Does the smile NOT FREAK YOU OUT???? IT DOES ME!!! I think a good head-clearing might be in order, and maybe my brother isn't talking me down too badly.
I am okay. I had one wound on my scalp, one on my upper left hip, and one on my lower left buttock - after he threw me halfway across the room, I flipped over when I saw the knife. Then I screamed for C., and he came running and talked him down some, then grabbed the knife. The lower wound hasn't healed all the way. It abcessed and also it is right where your leg meets your butt, so it gets pulled open every time I walk and sit. But it's not infected now.
I am not so scared now; but I was for DAYS, WEEKS even...I have my alarm and "other things." (((hugs))) Lisa
Quoting Taylor.gibson74:
Is he really smiling in his mug shot????wow what a pos.anyways maybe he needs to clear his head and ypur brother (despite you hatred toward. Each other)is the place he can do it!I'm sorry this happened are you ok?
He knows you love him no matter what. I have a son (20) and he gets angry with me.When in fact his anger is toward his father.
My girls ( 21) and (18) have spoken with him and he isn't happy with how his father treated them, or I throughout the years.
His anger has to go somewhere so he directs it at me knowing I will always love him no matter what.
My oldest and I just spoke about this the other night. She mentioned that he loves me very much, just confused about a few things. So a conversation is in the works when I go visit him this weekend in Michigan for Mother's day.
Just keep loving him and be open to him. Send him a card or letter. Offer to take him to a movie or dinner and maybe a walk in a park to talk. Just ask him how he's been doing. Let him lead the conversation, if he isn't talkative its okay. There's nothing wrong with silence. Most of all, just be patient with him. Allow him time to process through some of this stuff.
Quoting LCLMBSC:That might make sense...he is 15. The counselor said he is angry, possibly, and cannot take it out on Rick, so he is taking it out on me knowing I love him unconditionally...that also makes sense. I AM NOT TAKING HIM BACK, THAT'S FOR SURE. But, as I said in my first response to someone, he is definitely going to do time because the previous incident had him on probation...Lisa
Quoting lioness3e:Only he can give you answers. Maybe he's scared of losing you, or scared you'll take your husband back into the home. Again, only he knows the answer to your question.
How old is he?
I am guessing your son has a world of emotions going through him, and there is no good way for you to guess what those are. If his father died when he was little, then he had to watch his stepfather almost kill his mother, of course he is grieving.
Why don't you set up an appointment for family/grief counseling, and just take him with you to that?
Have you made it clear to your son that you are divorcing your husband?
No, he is in jail and has been for 2 months...I also took out an order of protection,, so if he got out he cannot come around either of us. He is not coming back, ever. He is going to go to prison for certain, according to the solicitor. Lisa
Quoting meagan0716:
Ok I am a bit confused your husband stabbed you your upset because your son doesn't want to be home and is staying with your brother and you are still with your husband or is he in jail? I know your husband has ptsd. But it doesnt excuse what he did. My father inlaw has ptsd and so does my husband. I am really confused. If your husband is out of jail is he staying there. If i was your son i wouldn't want to be around someone who tried to hurt my mom.
She's cheating on him
- LCLMBSC
on May. 8, 2012 at 10:53 AM