Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Needing alittle advice..

Posted by on May. 30, 2012 at 4:13 PM
  • 14 Replies

I am really hoping someone is reading my post and is able to help me out on my situation. I'm currently raising my 17 month old son without much help from my own family as well as his father. I have really been considering taking off somewhere different and completely starting a new life for my son and i. There are too many negative people surrounding myself and Carter( my son). I'm just afraid because I've never just up and moved away before. I don't know how I'll manage living where I don't know anyone. I would have to find a school for myself to attend, a job, and daycare. On top of that I will be completely by myself. I feel in my heart it would be best that I get my son away from this environment because his father is mentally abusive to myself and him. I just want a new life for us but I'm having several doubts....



any advice??

by on May. 30, 2012 at 4:13 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
bbmkfo03
by on May. 30, 2012 at 11:17 PM

I wish I had some good advice for you but I think you're right, you need to get away from negative people, especially those that abuse you. What's making you stay?

luckycharms21
by on May. 30, 2012 at 11:19 PM

u dnt have to move out of state.. do u know any friends that may live just a couple of hours away? just dnt tell anyone where ur going.. 

alexis_06
by AnnaLisa on May. 31, 2012 at 1:07 AM

 ive wanted to do that sooo many times!  if i had money saved up i would.  until then, i stay.

emmy526
by Silver Member on May. 31, 2012 at 6:30 AM
1 mom liked this

that statement right there is enough to call your local domestic violence hot line..or call 1800-799-SAFE..they  will help you by pointing you in the right direction and lead you to resources to help yourself.  

Quote:

his father is mentally abusive to myself and him. 


myedward_hisbel
by on May. 31, 2012 at 9:56 AM
I agree with this

Quoting emmy526:

that statement right there is enough to call your local domestic violence hot line..or call 1800-799-SAFE..they  will help you by pointing you in the right direction and lead you to resources to help yourself.  

Quote:

his father is mentally abusive to myself and him. 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LoreleiSieja
by Bronze Member on May. 31, 2012 at 12:25 PM

You can do this!  You really can!  Take some time to make plans, but don't talk to anyone in your family. They might argue with you, and tell you one thousand reasons why you shouldn't do this, and they could undermine your efforts.  Keep it a secret from everyone, if you really want to go.

First, look into schools.  You have computer access - you can do most of your research from the computer.  Do you mean to get into college or finish high school?  Some colleges have apartments besides just dormitories, where you and your son could live on campus.  These colleges also have drop-in day care centers for while you're in classes.  You can take out government grants and student loans to pay for all this.  As a single mom, there are grants available, because single moms is the largest growing group of low-income people in the nation.  These grants are to try to change that around. 

Once you find the college, and have filled out the FAFSA - the form to get student grants and loans - then you'll have a place to go.  Be ware, there are two FAFSA sights. One is free, one costs money but offers to do some of the work for you. Do the free one. You can figure it out.  How old are you?  Can you legally live alone?

If your son's father is abusive - physically or emotionally - you can go into a shelter right away.  You should call a hotline, and find out where to go.  The information is kept secret, for obvious reasons.  But they are out there to help you break free from abusive situations.  Another thing - you can apply for Aid for Families with Dependent Children, food stamps, medical assistence... and if you tell them the father is abusive, they will not force you to sue him for child support. 

Make a plan, and DO IT. Do it for your child.  Do it for yourself.  If you do this, you will feel brave and empowered. If you stay... you will become depressed.


http://raisingcreativechildren.com/nail-biting/


LindaClement
by on May. 31, 2012 at 4:34 PM

Or, you could surround yourself, where you are, with more positive, supportive and respectful people...

What you find in the way of people where you are now is identical to the kinds of people you will find wherever you go.

erinsmom1964
by Gold Member on May. 31, 2012 at 5:02 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting LindaClement:

Or, you could surround yourself, where you are, with more positive, supportive and respectful people...

What you find in the way of people where you are now is identical to the kinds of people you will find wherever you go.

So very true.  Most people who try to run away from their problems find that when they get there nothing really changes because of the people YOU allow in your life.  Take control of YOUR life.  You could by leaving open a can of worms with custody and visitation issues. 

jesusgirl76
by on May. 31, 2012 at 6:58 PM

 I agree. If you feel in your heart that it's right to move away, then more power to you. I'm kinda in the same boat. I wish you all the best. I'm here if you need to chat.

Quoting bbmkfo03:

I wish I had some good advice for you but I think you're right, you need to get away from negative people, especially those that abuse you. What's making you stay?

 

marisab
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 3:15 PM

i wanan do this my self ..w ant a roommate??hehhehe seriously i had negative an du have to do whats best for u and son

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)