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So upset. Am I wrong for not letting him go?

Posted by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 2:55 AM
  • 45 Replies

Ok a little back story. I am 26 wks pregnant so very emotional and I have a four year old DS. My brother and SIL are users. They move from place to place draining people of everything they have. They have 2 kids 11, 2. I live an hour from where we grew up and my mom lives 5 hours away in a different state. Last September they moved to my town and within months they had stole money from both my pastor ($100) and my best friend ($300). I  kept my distance but still let my son go over there because he loved his uncle and cousins. In Feb. things came to a blow between us when they got mad and told me I need to come get my "F**king kid" So after that I decided it wasnt worth it anymore. The whole 10 yrs they have been married my mom has had problems with them they start fights and will blow up if my mom doesnt give them waht they want. Even to the point that my mom has bought my brother drugs.

So anyways I found out 4 days ago that packed up and moved in with my mom which is supposed to be temporary. Apparently they told my mom they would stay in a motel only to get there and not have money for a motel. So I have been back and forth with my mom because I had to find this out on m,y own, she lied when I asked where they were staying. Next month my son is supposed to go visit my mom for 2 weeks. He goes every summer and really looks forward to it. I told my mom I didnt want him around them which she then told me they were living in a motel not with her. So now I feel I can't trust my mom. I know if I don't let him go he will be heartbroken but I'm not sure I can deal with her lies and his problems. I have been crying for days about this. My mom is supposed to be here in September when the baby is born so he will be able to see her then. I just dont know what to do.

by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 2:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Cpdsptchgrl
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:00 AM
5 moms liked this
If it were me I would not allow him to go without me.
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makayla2308
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:05 AM
I think you should do something fun with him instead of you sending him that's just what I would do but hopefully you will come to peace with your decision whatever it may be
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nikabear
by Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:11 AM
My son would not be going!! Maybe your mom can come and visit him?
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ARPsMom
by Bronze Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:12 AM


Quoting makayla2308:

I think you should do something fun with him instead of you sending him that's just what I would do but hopefully you will come to peace with your decision whatever it may be


My best friend already said we could plan a trip to the water park and his other grandma has offered a Zoo trip. I  have never kept my mom from him but it just makes me uneasy.

sucker4myloves
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:16 AM

Awe honey, it's an unfair situation and it stinks, but you need to do what's right and protect your son from drug addicts, family or not. Your mom sounds like she loves her child, as she should, but is allowing him to step on her and enabling him, and that means she does not need to keep your boy while hers is there. :( Just let her know why you're keeping your son with you instead, maybe it'll be a wake up call to her.

Naegore
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:20 AM
Do what is best for your son. If you can't trust her, don't send him.
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DarlaHood
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:20 AM

That sucks!  So sorry.  I spend the summer with my granddaughter, and fortunately it means as much to me as it does to her.  But I know how disappointed she would be if she couldn't come over, and how much it would hurt my DD if I did that.  You have to stick with your boundaries because it is in the best interests of your son, but maybe you could convince your mom to spend time with him at your house a couple of times a week or something.  Until she can quit enabling them and set some healthy boundaries herself, you have to create the boundaries for your son.  I'm really sorry though.  I feel for you.

pse07
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:20 AM
Your mom know your problems with them, yet she still let them stay with her. I wouldn't let my ds go. I would take both my friend and mil up on their offers. Good luck

Quoting ARPsMom:



Quoting makayla2308:

I think you should do something fun with him instead of you sending him that's just what I would do but hopefully you will come to peace with your decision whatever it may be


My best friend already said we could plan a trip to the water park and his other grandma has offered a Zoo trip. I  have never kept my mom from him but it just makes me uneasy.

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frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:23 AM

I would keep him close to you while she is involved with that mess.   Heaven forbid something went down due to the drug use and he was put in harms way.

ARPsMom
by Bronze Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:26 AM


Quoting DarlaHood:

That sucks!  So sorry.  I spend the summer with my granddaughter, and fortunately it means as much to me as it does to her.  But I know how disappointed she would be if she couldn't come over, and how much it would hurt my DD if I did that.  You have to stick with your boundaries because it is in the best interests of your son, but maybe you could convince your mom to spend time with him at your house a couple of times a week or something.  Until she can quit enabling them and set some healthy boundaries herself, you have to create the boundaries for your son.  I'm really sorry though.  I feel for you.

She lives 5 hours away and only makes it here a few times a year. DS has been talking about this trip since Christmas.

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