Need some advice because now at the breaking point. updated with me finding something eles.
Currently, I am pregnant for the third time and have 2 daughters. Last year, my husband loss his job and I was working at McDonald's trying to make ends meet with 7.40 an hour. In November, I started working as a temp worker for a big medical group as a medical assistant 11.00 an hour. In January, I quit my job at McDonald's to focus more on the temp job. It was risky but because of McDonald's changing my hours so I had to get off at 6 am I fell asleep at the temp position before this one. In April, I was hired in as a full time employee at the medical office, benefits not kicking in for 6 months (around my due date). So my schedule is Monday, Tuesday, I work 9-5a, Wensday 1-9:30p, Thurdsay 8:30-3:30, Friday 9-6, and one or two Saturdays a month 9-1(30). I like my job because everyone is treats everyone eles with respect and the venipunctures, and shots are cool.
The problem is that my husband has not looked for a job since he was fired from his 9 year job of being a manager at KFC. I really gave him a grace period, because he loss his job the same month he found out he was diabetic. I told him if he just kept the house clean, take care of the kids, and take time to find a job everything would be ok. My mom was fed up first. She comes by every Saturday to pick up both girls and bring them home Sunday night only to pick up the youngest girl Monday morning for me to pick her up Tuesday night so my husband can focus on cleaning the house and looking for a job. With this extra time, he has gotten drunk, played his video games, or watched tv. The clothes don't get folded (I do that to keep my scrubs wringle free), dishes don't get washed (I mainly eat only fruit and vegetables, which don't require any silverware or dish) and the list goes on. My co workers think it's messed up that I asked them for any overtime they don't want so I can save up. They asked me why can't he just get a job? The person that got me into McDonald's in 2010 I asked for her to help get my husband in and he won't do it because McDonald's wouldn't accept his application. He has had 2 interviews that he didn't go to because the manager told him the wrong day. I pass resturants that are hiring and got him an application for one of them and he left the application in the car and wouldn't fill it out. Right now, he is still on his unemployement but that ends at the end of this month, so July I will be doing everything on my own. I tried making excuses for him but by yesterday, I was fed up.. After the nurse supervisor came to me and asked me if I wanted days off (because Mon-Wed I won't be working with a doctor) I denied it because I need to save up the money I work to cover 2 months of bills in October and November (since I deliver October 3). When I was driving home, I went to call my husband (my phone shows me the latest facebook message) and saw he took the kids to the movies, When I got home, I found poop in the toddler's potty that had to be there since 3 (since my oldest gets out at 4 and he walks to get her), clothes everywhere, dirty dishes in the sink, trash not taking out, and so on, I just changed my clothes and left back out, called my best friend from highschool and told her I need a night away from this stress. So I went over her house, we caught up, went to the movies, picked her brother up from prom, got back to her house and just talked about everything. I stayed out til about 3am and told her I needed sleep so I went home. When I got home, my husband is sitting in the living room watching cartoons. So I asked for the remote to see what was on TV and handed it back to him. He says, "No, I'm going to bed anyway" So when I went in the room to sleep, he follows me, at 7am in the morning, he calls my kids to run into our room and jump on the bed. I let this continue for about a half hour because the normal routine when I don't work a Saturday is that they will watch cartoons in the living room. He keeps playing with them on the bed and now they are jumping on me. I asked for them to relocate to the living room and he says no because this is what he always do with his kids everyday. I insisted that they moved to the living room so I could get some sleep and again no. After that, everything breaks loose. I said leave, he thinks he's taking the car that I had to fight to put gas in (because after buying the things he wanted, I ran out of money in my account and had to wait for payday to fill the car up) so I took the kill switch out of the car and said you are not wasting my gas. He comes up with this big fat lie of an excuse, "I wanted to take my kids out to breakfast, now what the kids gonna eat" We just went grocery shopping. I know there is oatmeal, eggs and milk in the kitchen. I said, "Go make them breakfast then." He wouldn't for an hour, so for an hour the kids came in to say they were hungry and he said it was my fault they can't eat. When he finally left the room, I sat against the door to try and get space, but he pushed the door down and back in. I got my belt and spanked him once because I said, "If you are going to act like a child, I will treat you like a child." So again one of my daughters came in and asked what happened and he said "Mommy is being a stupid a-hole". So I threw a little basket at him. 1.) no name calling and 2.) no cussing around my kids. He hits me with all his force and now I believe I have a gash on my neck and a little down my chest because it's been 30 minutes and it still burns. After that I sat on the floor and haven't said another word.
Now before the judging begins, I believed I only resorted to using the belt to whip him on the legs because of the fact that I am so exhausted it and 2 hours of talking and arguing did not get anywhere.
So I'm asking what to do in my situation keeping in mind I have no sitter while I'm at work. He doesn't have insurance and needs to see the doctor every 6 months for his medication, so do I put him on that? Do I ship him to his mom's house and tell him to stay there til his life is in order? Moving in with my mom is not a good idea for four reasons: 1) don't do well sharing space with her and my brother (as we found out from the separation after having the second daughter) 2) my mother took in my grandmother in her 2 bdrm house so my brother sleeps in the living room and his stuff is in the dining room
So as you can see, weighing options, need help (sorry about the length)
update #2 (seen in post 12)
Really sorry it took so long to respond. I spent the night at a friends house, found out he ripped my thumb nail off and my arm is swollen in the muscle. We haven't talked since I came home Sunday night, letting me know that tension still flies in the air. I've tried to help out with the laundry, and talk to him, but he stays angered. I honestly think he is going through depression. Last week, after I got work, I took a nap only to wake up to him completely wasted. That's when I realized he's drinking more. (He has been drunk about 3 times this month) My friend from highschool brought out a good point. Back in April, I got hired in my job and thought they would fire me because of the pregnancy. I was secretly pregnant for 17 weeks. I posted on facebook that I will have to say something and is nervous. Everyone posted it would be ok (even not knowing what I was talking about) except him. He commented, "You brought this on yourself" I think he was hoping I would have gotten fired and lost it when he saw that my job accepted me and treat me nicely. I saw his behavior slowly changing with the more attention to games than the kids, drinking by himself, disreguarding his diabetes by using his unemployment checks to buy donuts at dunkin donuts daily, feeling everytime I get home, he must get in the car and drive for a while, and so on. Also right now, my job is doing a screening for depression in patients with chronic illnesses. He failed the intial test (2 questions: In the past two weeks, how many days have you noticed a.) little interest or pleasure in activities you used to enjoy? b.) feeling down hopeless, or depressed?) So I will evaluate all the details and come up with a plan, do I let him stay with some condtions, or do I tell him to go home and work on himself until he can get on his feet?
I don't remember if I mentioned that I got my hair done after the confrontation. Everyone commented on my hair ( I have kinky twist in). Today, one of my co-workers asked me if the braiders used a hot comb and burned my neck. I said no. She told me I have a scar across my neck that looks like a burn. So I went and checked it in the bathroom room and sure enough there is a large black line in a slant on my neck, from when he hit me with the belt. So I went to my meeting tonight, and the friend's house I stayed over was there. I asked her if she remembers seeing this line. She told me no, but sometimes bruises and scars take time to surface. So I don't know if it was always there, but people were looking a the hair, or it did surface later. The people I was supposed to meet with to talk to forgot about me. They literally told me that. I guess my situation isn't that important, so I cried in the car. I went and got my daughters from my mother's house and started crying again when I told her they forgot me. She asked me what happened, and why won't I take a picture of my hair. I told her I don't want this ugly scar on my neck in the picture. I showed her the mark, and she told me to go to the police. But because I have the girls and it was midnight, I will mention it at my doctor's appointment tommorrow, especially why I already know they will be concerned that I haven't gained a pound in 6 weeks.