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My fiance's family is pressuring me to get pregnant, what should I do?

Posted by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 12:55 AM
  • 71 Replies

    My fiance and I have not even been together for a whole year and weren't planning on getting married till next year. We want children( I already have a son from a previous relationship) but don't feel that the time is right. Besides us not being married yet, we're not in a position to raise another child. Both of us are stuggling to gain our financial footing and aren't even living together yet.

   Here comes the kicker... We've been getting pressured lately by his mother and grandmother to get pregnant. His grandmother is in poor health and wishes to see a grandchild from her only grandson/ oldest grandchild. Im currently on the Implanon bith control and his mother said to me, " I have a pocket knife, we could fix that real quick". I know she ment it jokingly but really? We have been planning to start trying for a child after my birthcontrol expires which also happens to coincide with our wedding date but Nannaw's not sure she'll make it that long, she's 85. I'd love nothing more than to make her wish come true but I just don't feel ready for another child yet. What should I do? I also don't want to hurt her feelings, she's very emotionally sensitive...

by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 12:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ekh2010
by Member on Jun. 21, 2012 at 12:59 AM
21 moms liked this
Don't have kids to please others. You are in charge of them for 18+years they aren't....tell nana she has to stay strong til then :)
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frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jun. 21, 2012 at 12:59 AM
5 moms liked this

Do not let them rush you.  Explain to the grandmother that she can adopt your son as her GREAT grandson in the mean time while you and fiance are trying to get financially stable.

Bethbeth
by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 1:01 AM

 Talk to your fiance. He needs to tell his family to leave you alone.

lauriebash
by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 1:01 AM
2 moms liked this

 You can't have children for someone else's sake! They aren't the one going to raise it. If it would make you feel better, tell her your trying. It's not like you can get pregnant exactly when you or anyone else wants you to.

rayroe2
by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 1:04 AM

 keep the bc in and just say you been trying..........lying is never good, but they need to know there place with that.

sreichelt26
by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 1:09 AM
1 mom liked this

It's none of their damn business. YOU and your fiance decide when it's the best time to have children since you'll be the ones raising them.

underpressure31
by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 1:10 AM

  Thanks for the advice ladies, I needed an outside( non-family) opinion

Windowdove
by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 1:15 AM
1 mom liked this
It's up to you and your dh. Not them.

startupscafe
by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 9:41 AM
1 mom liked this

Tell them you have to get married first.  Actually, God is the one that says so.  They can't refute that.

iamcafemom83
by Mariah on Jun. 21, 2012 at 9:45 AM
1 mom liked this
Just tell them you are "working on it". They don't need to know that, really, it will be in a year or more. Maybe have your fiancé tell the, to back off.
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