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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

My fiance's family is pressuring me to get pregnant, what should I do?

    My fiance and I have not even been together for a whole year and weren't planning on getting married till next year. We want children( I already have a son from a previous relationship) but don't feel that the time is right. Besides us not being married yet, we're not in a position to raise another child. Both of us are stuggling to gain our financial footing and aren't even living together yet.

   Here comes the kicker... We've been getting pressured lately by his mother and grandmother to get pregnant. His grandmother is in poor health and wishes to see a grandchild from her only grandson/ oldest grandchild. Im currently on the Implanon bith control and his mother said to me, " I have a pocket knife, we could fix that real quick". I know she ment it jokingly but really? We have been planning to start trying for a child after my birthcontrol expires which also happens to coincide with our wedding date but Nannaw's not sure she'll make it that long, she's 85. I'd love nothing more than to make her wish come true but I just don't feel ready for another child yet. What should I do? I also don't want to hurt her feelings, she's very emotionally sensitive...

by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 12:55 AM
Replies (21-30):
Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Jun. 21, 2012 at 3:44 PM

I would tell them to back off.  Family planning should be between you and your fiance.

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Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Jun. 21, 2012 at 5:27 PM

Just tell them to bug off, if they want a baby so much, they should have one. You will in your own time.

aimhawk
by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:10 AM
1 mom liked this

Its your body, your decision, and it would be your child. Try if your ready, if not tell them to fucking kick rocks!

LadyStork
by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:17 AM
2 moms liked this

 Don't have them till you're ready. If my family had their way I'd still be a virgin lol

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Maevelyn
by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:32 AM

let him handle it. I understand that you want to make her happy but you can't go having children to make people happy. Do I wish my grandmother would get to meet dd #3? Absolutly, but I honestly think that she may have sent her to me. Also, as some have said, if you're going to be together she already had greatgrand kids. Trust NOBODY loved a baby more than my mommom but if I was married/engaged to some one with kids they would have been HERS as much as if I'd had them. 

mummy1990
by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:34 AM

Don't get pregnant just because others want you do, regardless.


I had a friend who got married and had a kid with this girl that he never loved. He did it because his mom was dying and she wanted to see him get married and she wanted to meet her grandchild. She got her wish and died a couple months later. But the girl he married turned psycho (I mean she had to have had a screw loose in the first place to marry the first guy that came along, and never told her that he loved her), and he doesn't get to see his son that often. And hes pretty miserable with the whole situation.


My point it...get married when you guys want to, and have kids when you guys want to. Don't do it just because someone is dying...people die everyday...people are born everyday too.

boshs1andonly
by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:36 AM
1 mom liked this

Dh and I had been married almost 5 years before we got pregnant, and we had been getting comments about kids for awhile. I told dh, since they are not carrying the baby, pushing him/her out, or supporting them for the next 18 years, they don't get a vote. You have to do what's right for you and your df. It makes a lot of sense for you to wait until you're married, don't let them make you think otherwise. And that knife comment was out of line, joke or not. wtf? just make sure you and him are on the same page, and if you are that's all that matters.

sucker4myloves
by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:39 AM

If you're not ready, you're not ready. Don't do it. Having a baby so an aging woman can meet it for ten minutes will not ease the forthcoming years of financial difficulties that will abound if you have it before you're financially stable. Remember, you got the implanon for a reason.

PinkParadox
by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:41 AM
You should be a strong mother, and do what you think is right. You are in charge of your life...and even more so your current and future children.
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Firttimemommy
by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:46 AM
Tell the hubby to talk to his family..if he can't...talk to him n tell them a lie to get me off ur back..if they bother u again tell me ur trying....that is that.....end of story..a lil white lie won't hurt...
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