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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

My fiance's family is pressuring me to get pregnant, what should I do?

    My fiance and I have not even been together for a whole year and weren't planning on getting married till next year. We want children( I already have a son from a previous relationship) but don't feel that the time is right. Besides us not being married yet, we're not in a position to raise another child. Both of us are stuggling to gain our financial footing and aren't even living together yet.

   Here comes the kicker... We've been getting pressured lately by his mother and grandmother to get pregnant. His grandmother is in poor health and wishes to see a grandchild from her only grandson/ oldest grandchild. Im currently on the Implanon bith control and his mother said to me, " I have a pocket knife, we could fix that real quick". I know she ment it jokingly but really? We have been planning to start trying for a child after my birthcontrol expires which also happens to coincide with our wedding date but Nannaw's not sure she'll make it that long, she's 85. I'd love nothing more than to make her wish come true but I just don't feel ready for another child yet. What should I do? I also don't want to hurt her feelings, she's very emotionally sensitive...

by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 12:55 AM
Replies (61-70):
Supermommyof423
by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 3:09 PM
It ain't their life or their business. They don't support you financially neither. Times are tough. Geez people.
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lazyd
by Member on Jun. 22, 2012 at 4:09 PM

Its not up to them.  Tell them that and be strong.  Don't back down.  If they ask for details, just tell them you guys are financially stable yet to have another baby, so unless they plan on providing ALL financial support for another baby, tell them they will have to wait another year or two.  Who's to say that even if you get the bc taken out that you will become pregnant right away. 

erikadi
by Bronze Member on Jun. 22, 2012 at 6:05 PM

I understand that, but you are going to be the ones who are taking care of the child not her. My great grandmother did not get to see all of her great grandchildren. My grandfathers never got to see my son. In the mean time try and get her involved in other ways like getting advice or getting ideas on names so she feels apart of the process and that she had input.

momsknowbest911
by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 10:15 PM

 I agree with all of these other momas you do what you feels best don't be pressured by others, and you know that you can be honest with them because that's the best thing. If they can be patient with you all the other stuff will happen at the right times. They need to accept that.  From momsknowbest911 ~ (Margie).

thatgirl70
by Carin on Jun. 22, 2012 at 10:23 PM

I'd ignore them. Do it when you are ready for it. It's not something you just rush into just because other people insist on it.

I_told_you_so
by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 11:47 PM

If you aren't ready, you aren't ready.   Nannaw or mother - neither of them is going to pay for the upbringing of that child if things don't work out with you and you df.   And there are a lot of things that still could happen, even if you're going to be together.  I would tell them that if you get pregnant, you get pregnant.  You don't need to tell them you're on any type of BC or anthing else.  Besides, it's not a good idea to get preggers right after you stop BC.

I_told_you_so
by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 11:51 PM

What happens if the old bat rallies and lives on?  Are you going to have to rent the kid by the week?

Quoting vinalex0581:

i feel bad for your grandmother.

maybe when she's on her death bed you could hold a baby and say, this is our daughter or son.

and then give the baby back and continue on with your  life.

lol!!

i don't know. i think it would be nice, she gets what she wants just before she dies and then she dies happy. 

or maybe not.


shygrl3cccm
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 12:21 PM

Tell them when your ready it will happen. End of story!!!! Don't stress a minute longer thinking about it, easy solution :)

amonkeymom
by Silver Member on Jun. 23, 2012 at 4:15 PM

This, but include that it's none of their business!

Quoting shygrl3cccm:

Tell them when your ready it will happen. End of story!!!! Don't stress a minute longer thinking about it, easy solution :)


Bmat
by Barb on Jun. 23, 2012 at 5:53 PM

No, don't have children yet.  It is a personal decision, don't let anyone urge you into it. Nannaw will be able to enjoy the baby no matter where she is, bless her.  Don't have a baby just for that.

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