Poll
Question: Do you think its okay to have an occasional beer? (not to get drunk just to chill back)
Total Votes: 60
My Dh and I just got into an argument for some reason about beer.. lol.. I am the type who likes to sit back at the lake, or while fishing, or sitting next to a pool and pop open a beer. I havent had a drink in prob four months or so and before that I had a margarita on new years eve.. I like the occassional dinner party or night out at olive garden glass of wine. My dh on the other hand despises it. He doesnt like to drink much.. every once in a blue moon he likes a jack and coke that is all.. Is it not okay for me to just want a damn beer? I love to watch a football game and have one every once in a while.. To me I dont think its a problem, its not like I have one very often. I am just not understanding.. I dont drink to get drunk.. hell, I have kids and I need to be sober if something happends to one of them!! (I 95% of the time have a sitter if I want a beer/ the other 5% I pour it into another cup so they dont see the bottle and think its okay) Am I wrong for just wanting a beer to chill back with on the every 3-4 month occasion?
I think your uptight husband needs to get laid more often, lol!!
there's nothing wrong with what you do.
tell him it's not like you get drunk everytime you drink. it's just your way of relaxing and enjoying yourself.
tell him you love him but to get over it.
In my family, we have many relatives who are alcoholics and addicts. My parents, on the other hand, drink occasionally and responsibly. When I was a teen, I was allowed to have an occasional wine/champagne for holidays, and my parents were very open about drinking responsibly. Because it was such NOT a big deal in our house, I NEVER drank away from my parents and never did any drugs, although I was exposed to all of them through my friends. I chose to be responsible because I had good examples in my parents. I wonder, if I had only the alcoholic/addict examples, would I have experimented more because I would not have seen moderation modeled for me?
Just wanted to throw THIS perspective out there! :)
Teaching your children to drink responsibly is important, I think. If he's just not into drinking that's one thing but if he's not drinking b/c he thinks it looks bad to the kids then that's another. I'm Italian and we grew up watching adults having a glass of wine with dinner, no one was getting wasted or stupid. In college I will admit I went crazy with the drinking but now as an adult with children I enjoy a glass of wine every now and then, just as my parents did. I want my kids to know that drinking can be done responsibly and you don't have to drink to get drunk.
I'm wondering if your DH ever had a family member or friend who had problems with alcohol to make him have such a strong opinion? He sounds like my friend, her Mom was an alcoholic and she is now so opposed to drinking that she tells her kids it's poison. I tell her that's probably not the best way to explain them about the negative effects of alcohol but she's terrified of having kids with the same problem.
I really appreciate you saying that. The way he feels is extremely important to me. In my opinion if it isnt going to matter in a few days (regarding our disagreement) its not worth it. I love and care so very much about him. Now that I have more time to think about it drinking in the army was a way to escape all the nasty and horrible things he had to deal with. I dont want him to associate alcohol with anything he had to endure in his military time. We have such a strong bond to me it makes me laugh later when we have a disagreement because it usually doesnt last long, and we always come to some common ground. Sometimes its me and sometimes its him, but it always works out. Thanks for the support!
Quoting BrookieCookie1:
Quoting auburnmamma1:
That ismy best guess too.. it doesnt add up to me because he would drink when he was out of the country in the army (he just got out not to long ago) and now he wont.. he didnt drink all the time over there, but when he wanted a beer it wasnt a problem..lol.. I think I am reading way too much into this disagreement lol.. Having a beer every once in a while is not worth a disagreement.. bottom line if he feels this strongly about it then neither one of us, even on occasion should drink at all. I refuse to let this keep riding out like we are high school kids.. lol..
Quoting mummy1990:
Its totally normal to have a beer or two every now and then....is the reason your husband dislikes it, because of alcoholism in the family?
Quoting auburnmamma1:
Quoting mummy1990:Your DH is a little....prudish...
My husband drinks on the weekends. He never gets drunk. The last time he was actually drunk was a couple months before I got pregnant. But he has a couple beers on a friday after working all weekend. Doesn't bother me at all. I don't drink as often as he does. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a beer or glass of wine with dinner every now and then.
Does he come from a family of alcoholics or something?
We both actually come from families that have alcoholics. In my opinion if I were showing signs of that I would stop myself, and if I couldnt I would get help. I feel very strongly about that subject and I dont ever want to appear to be or seriously have a problem. I am like you if he came home after working all week and wanted a few beers I would think nothing of it.. I grew up with my dad being that way.. shoot I used to fetch his beers lol.. (not that I would do that to my kids)
This was what first came to mind. I have a really nasty alcoholic mother and oh man, it has just ruined alcohol for me (not that i drink, I'm a recovering addict) but, i know even though DH has one on occasion(rare) i have this deep-seated, knee-jerk reaction to just feel all weird about it inside. And I tell myself 'you're crazy, he's never gotten drunk around me or the kids" but still, there's just this feeling of extreme anxiety. Nonetheless, reading what you said here, you sound like a jewel of a woman and I don't mean that sarcastically!
It's totally fine. I'm sure your husband has his reasons though and maybe you need to talk to him about it more.
The one thing that I don't agree with is putting it in another cup so the kids don't see the bottle. I would be worried about your kids taking a sip of mommy's drink without realizing it's not for them and why they shouldn't. My husband drinks his beer out of the bottle and the kids recognize that bottle as being an adult drink and not something they should touch or drink. In another cup, they might think it is juice or tea.
I don't think it is a good idea. I have been married for nearly 30 years. My husband used to drink before we got married and after about 4 years I thought one every once in a while would be "ok."
However, my husband developed a taste for it and over the course of about a couple of years, my husband increased his intake. Before he knew it, he was an alcoholic.
I think one every so often is fine :) As long as you aren't pregnant, during pregnancy alcohol is NEVER okay.
A question for those who have kids close in age..
When was your due date and when did you give birth?
- auburnmamma1
on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:08 AM