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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Advice for a step mom

Posted by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 1:03 PM
  • 14 Replies
I am a 30 yr old doctor in a long distance relationship with a man with children (5 and 9). We are trying to take things slow. I am meet his kids after dating for 6 months. I am usually good with children but absolutely petrified that things will not work out. Any advice?
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by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 1:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
amonkeymom
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 1:14 PM

Welcome.

Keep taking it slow so that the kids can get to know you better.  Don't be scared.

Christy644
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 1:18 PM
Just be yourself. Things will go just fine.
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Portiamgb
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 2:13 PM
I will be with him and the kids for 4 days straight. My ex had kids who were terrors and bm was a lying, kniving, terrible person. He was also a terrible parent. While my bf is a wonderful parent I'm afraid of bm repercussions and the children hating me.
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LuLuRex
by Bronze Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:15 PM

This is great advice!

Quoting amonkeymom:

Welcome.

Keep taking it slow so that the kids can get to know you better.  Don't be scared.


bamababe1975
by Gold Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 7:25 PM

 I agree. Take your time and things will come. Remember they're nervous and scared, too, and so is your SO. It's all new and you all have to take time to adjust. :)

Quoting LuLuRex:

This is great advice!

Quoting amonkeymom:

Welcome.

Keep taking it slow so that the kids can get to know you better.  Don't be scared.

 

 

emt088
by Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 10:14 PM

Oh god, im youre looking for support, im the WRONG person to go to. RUN WHILE YOU CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ive had a terrible experience with my blended family and would Never make the decision to marry with previously existing children again. DHs boys were 6 and 9 when we started dating. It sucked then, but I was FAR too young to know what i was getting myself in to.  My only bit of advice to you is to be SURE before you make any drastic moves that you and SO are on the same page in so far as discipline and your parenting styles, because take it from me. When you and SO completely disagree about how children should be raised, your life will very quickly resemble hell.

ROBIN-C
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 1:16 AM
1 mom liked this

 by now you should know about the kids likes. take them a small gift to break the ice. could be as simple as their favorite candy bar or a new card game appropriate for their ages. book stores have the coolest games imo.

just be fun! play board games, watch kid movies, have fun dinners like sloppy joes where their mouths will get messy and its something to laugh about! take pics too!

if you have time look online for dinner games (familydinnergames.com) - they are cards with fun games to play while you eat!

limit your affections with s/o infront of his kids til you know they are comfortable with it. also limit affections toward them til they are comfortable.

basically be yourself and have fun! enjoy kid activities! laugh a lot! if they have fun they will want you around more!

Momof3smoochies
by Member on Jun. 26, 2012 at 3:04 AM
When I first met my step dad I was 9. During the time he dated my mom he tried to get to know us by doing stuff we liked. So I thought. But as I got to know him. He was just being himself. A big kid. The point of my story is just be yourself. Best thing you can do.
Livinwith3boys
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 3:07 AM

good luck, but you are not a step mom

AtillaTheHun
by Member on Jun. 26, 2012 at 3:53 AM
1 mom liked this

Be yourself. Try not to be overly nice (you know, overdoing it), the kids do pick up on that. Find out what they like to do, i.e. playing board games, books they like, coloring, and engage in those activities with them. Show them that you are interested in what they like by asking questions and encouraging them to tell you about their hobbies and such. Kids respond the best to honesty. DonĀ“t be afraid! ;) 

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