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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Will I ever finish it?

Posted by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 11:40 PM
  • 5 Replies

Let me give a little back story...This all leads to one small thing but I feel that its important to understand what happened that day.

February 8, 2010 my (now ex) husband (I'll call him D) and I had a major fight about food. The day before was the Super Bowl (Colts vs. Saints) we had a small get together for it and I went that morning and bought the food for it since that was our FS day (I didn't get a lot). I also had to get a few things for DD and because I didn't have the cash my mom helped me out and I bought her food in exchange (I know illegal but it was all I could do). Back to the morning of the 8th, his brother (E) came to the apartment and said that their mom wanted us to go buy her some food (she knew we got our FS the day before) she did that EVERY month and we hardly ever bought her food because she didn't ever pay us back in anyway. D asked how much we had left and I told him that we will see after we can get to the store and get everything that we needed but I already knew we didn't have enough left to feed her house of 10 people and our house of 3. D and I got into a fight about it, I ended up telling him that our DD and unborn child would come before the rest of his family, that we had enough left for the rest of the month (we did have just a little more than that). He yelled at me saying that I am always buying my family food and never any for his family. I had to try and explain to him that it was because my family actually bought DD her diapers, our toilet paper, and other staples that can't be bought with FS. He could not understand that. I then told him that if he would just get off his lazy ass and get a job we wouldn't have to worry about my family providing for us and help his family out from time to time, well that didn't sit well. I should have added that D was an abusive man because this is when things get BAD. He started throwing things at me and gets me into a corner and tries to hit me, I ducked in time and saw a hole in the wall. I was very scared at this point and wanted to get DD out of there. He started yelling that I should get a job, he couldn't understand that my doctor put me on bed rest, it was a rough pregnancy (I was about 7 months at the time). I ended up yelling at him about something with his home made tattoo gun and threw it in the garbage and shattered it (I know that I shouldn't have done that) he would stay up all night giving random people tattoos and then sleep all day. After I threw that he got a hold of my cross stitch supplies and threw them across the room saying that I cared more about that then my own child. That stung, I was working on a picture for DD. More things happened that caused me to call 911 and finally leave his sorry lazy ass. (He ended up in prison for other things and is now in a restitution center paying off his fines.) Here is the issue, that picture I was working on I haven't been able to work on it. Every time I look at it that day comes flooding back to me. I really want to finish it for DD but I just can't I feel like he has ruined it for me. He ruined a lot of things for me, like reading it took me awhile to pick a book up again and just read it. Will I ever get over the feelings of that day and just pick up that project and finish it? Any advice would be great. I know it is a bit long and jumbled and some typos, but thank you for sticking with it.

by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 11:40 PM
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Replies (1-5):
lv_my_babies
by Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 11:54 PM

BUMP!

lovinmommy0f3
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 9:06 AM
1 mom liked this
If you can bring yourself to finish it then It could give you a sense of empowerment. That you were strong enough to continue on and won't let his actions define you. If not then throw it out and start a new project. Nothing wrong with throwing out the past and starting a fresh beginning. It can give you the same empowerment. It's mind of matter......which ever you choose just stand strong and own it!
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Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Jun. 26, 2012 at 9:25 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting lovinmommy0f3:

If you can bring yourself to finish it then It could give you a sense of empowerment. That you were strong enough to continue on and won't let his actions define you. If not then throw it out and start a new project. Nothing wrong with throwing out the past and starting a fresh beginning. It can give you the same empowerment. It's mind of matter......which ever you choose just stand strong and own it!

Very good advice!

Cloth diapering, Co-sleeping, Toddler wearing, breastfeeding advocate, ERFing, attachment parenting, home schooling, hippie at heart!
 TTC a 2013 Baby!!!!!!
lv_my_babies
by Member on Jun. 26, 2012 at 9:36 AM

I thought about that a year ago when I started a project for myself but realized I was almost finished with DD's all that I have left to do is back stitching and then to stitch her name and birthdate so I put it up again. I found it yesterday and broke down all over again. I hate that he still has this hold over me with this one thing. 

Quoting lovinmommy0f3:

If you can bring yourself to finish it then It could give you a sense of empowerment. That you were strong enough to continue on and won't let his actions define you. If not then throw it out and start a new project. Nothing wrong with throwing out the past and starting a fresh beginning. It can give you the same empowerment. It's mind of matter......which ever you choose just stand strong and own it!


lovinmommy0f3
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 9:59 AM
Take a deep breath, smile, and finish it. When it's done give it to your dd and her reaction and smile will overcast any bad memories lingering from it. It will then have a new meaning and happy memory.

Quoting lv_my_babies:

I thought about that a year ago when I started a project for myself but realized I was almost finished with DD's all that I have left to do is back stitching and then to stitch her name and birthdate so I put it up again. I found it yesterday and broke down all over again. I hate that he still has this hold over me with this one thing. 

Quoting lovinmommy0f3:

If you can bring yourself to finish it then It could give you a sense of empowerment. That you were strong enough to continue on and won't let his actions define you. If not then throw it out and start a new project. Nothing wrong with throwing out the past and starting a fresh beginning. It can give you the same empowerment. It's mind of matter......which ever you choose just stand strong and own it!


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