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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

My husband spends all our money. WTF.

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 10:08 AM
  • 12 Replies

My husband has been spending late night in bars and not coming home until 4:30 in the morning.
The past 6 weeks he has done this, and we've fought like cats and dogs every time he comes home.
The straw that broke the camels back though was, I had $50 set aside for gas for him for work for the next two weeks, and some for our sons birthday present. He went to the bar and spent it all. Now he has no gas money for work, no one can take him to work, and he is treating ME like shit because of it.

I don't know what to do.

I've tried talking about it with him, and nothing!

Now he expects me to come up with money somehow for him. (i.e, call my parents or something)

Which, the funny part is, if I get him gas money he will probably spend half of it on ciggerettes.

He does not let me control the money. Any money we have goes on his card and I don't see it again unless I need to buy something.

Now - we have no gas, no money for our sons birthday present. For TWO WEEKS.

WTF!

Now he wants to sell our big screen TV that I worked hard to get for us several years back!

by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 10:08 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Jun. 26, 2012 at 10:18 AM
3 moms liked this

why are so married & having children with this asshole? He has zero respect for you or your children, he does not provide for them, he sounds like he has a HUGE drinking problem, He cant even manage to keep gas in the car !

NikkiDoll
by Nikki on Jun. 26, 2012 at 10:20 AM
Does he have a drinking problem?
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jhslove
by Bronze Member on Jun. 26, 2012 at 10:22 AM

I don't know what to tell you......obviously talking to him isn't working.

If it were me, I'd leave. Can you stay with family until you get a place of your own? He's not considering the needs of his family and is mistreating you. Seems pretty cut-and-dried to me.

yourpassion
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 10:22 AM
How does money "go on his card"? If you need money and can ask your parents, then maybe they can get the gas for you vs actual money. If they live close. I don't know, I'd have a serious talk about his habits and your future as a family. Good luck!!!
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MrsMommyMiller
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 10:26 AM


Quoting NikkiDoll:

Does he have a drinking problem?


I don't think so. At least, I don't know. He doesn't have to have alochol to survive/get by.

jhslove
by Bronze Member on Jun. 26, 2012 at 10:31 AM
1 mom liked this

If he's going to the bar every night until 4:30 a.m. and spending money that's set aside for household expenses and your son's birthday present, then yes, he has a drinking problem.

Quoting MrsMommyMiller:


Quoting NikkiDoll:

Does he have a drinking problem?


I don't think so. At least, I don't know. He doesn't have to have alochol to survive/get by.


The_Doodle
by Bronze Member on Jun. 26, 2012 at 10:35 AM
1 mom liked this

I'd just tell him tough shit and definitely make your own checking account for your check to go into if you work. Every time he brings it up, just point at him and don't say anything. Make sure to tell him everyday about how your son won't get a birthday present because of his stupid choices. Sometimes assholes need to be treated like assholes to get the point across.

lusyl95
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 10:37 AM
I wouldn't put up with that! He sounds awful and like he doesn't care about his family. Kick him to the curve you deserve better. My dh would never Do that!
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PreK
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 10:52 AM

It sounds like he has a sexual addiction problem.  What responsible husband stays out until 4:30am?  He should be in bed with his wife getting enough rest to go to work the next day.  Taking money from his son's birthday fund is not very paternal and is truly selfish.  These behaviors are those of any addict, either drugs or sex, or other.  Please do not enable him any more and seek help.  CAUTION:  When you stop giving him money (which he should be earning) he may become angry.  (These kind of "men" typically do.) Please protect yourself and your children.  You can create a better environment and better relationships  if you choose to.  But it will take a lot of courage to look at what is happening with honest eyes and it will take strength to love him through his challenges.  He will either step up or run away.  Be ready for either one.  

Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Jun. 26, 2012 at 11:08 AM

I would not be with him. 

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